got to be there.

ive been off today. i slept most of it, having stayed up til 6am pressing kesi's hair (yeah i said it. and why is that joint touching his shoulders?) and watching the bruce lee story with him.

after i got my ID this morning i came back home and napped. i woke to the news that michael jackson was in the hospital. then, that he was dead. i followed the whole drama on twitter and facebook and spent the rest off the night watching mtv and youtubing my favorite mike videos. my mother also accidentally googled some inappropriate pix of one of mike's costars (i wont say her name cuz its inconsequential and her life took some sad turns.) heres some of the highlights of the day.

*i had a michael jackson doll handed down to me from my aunt stacey. loved that thing! he even had glitter socks. it was thriller mike and he came with the red jacket. i think it was handed back to stacey's daughter.

* i told la i wanted an "all i wanna say is that they dont really care about us" tattoo. she vetoed the idea.

*i must learn to rollerskate moonwalk, a la "bad." i should put them on now and practice.

*al sharpton said "when michael and i were teens..." what? you and michael were never teens together. womp.

*there is video of me and my 3rd or 4th grade class singing "heal the world." i just found out about it and im very excited. cant wait to see it!

* does anyone remember my long ride to chili's post? we listened to michael the whole ride.

*when i was 11 i would do the scooby doo dance to "dont stop til you get enough" with cousin/former blogger miss lady.

*I used to think man in the mirror was a song about a man who lives in a mirror and gave advice. or he was bad and thats why they put him in the mirror.

*and lastly, a video.

too much time on youtube

for some reason youtube and blogger are in hater mode, so i posted the urls...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WFdlxr3uso

juney boomdata- whats up with that cookie
*i have a love hate relationship with this song because i think its sexist (and racist... he said "that wet wet mexican" in one line. if he didnt then whatever he did say was gross, lol) but i like the beat. and this video is funny*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnNyfGHUEHA

kanye- good morning
*its so cute!!!!!*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2ikj4x-zls

robyn- who's that girl
*"i just cant deal with the rules, cant take the pressure" me neither girl. this song is lyrically on point.*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGE34VAqYTk

super mario rescues the princess

ha!!! i never noticed he was basically calling her a slut...

ps- ive decided that if you feel like you need to comment on my blog but you dont actually SAY anything, of if i feel like you didnt READ my blog entry, i will delete your comment or ignore it. dont be wack. i get my lil email saying someone posted a comment and then i read the comment and i get a headache. stop!!! just dont say shit. lurk!!! that is all.

some pix

more to come on thursday!!!Kesi and Breezy. kesi came by to see me and take some pix. he's such a doll. as you can see by the apron, B was workin hard!

1230am on sunday, and i had finally run out of steam. i openned the door and saw the lil spot of space and knew i could fit there. my supervisor decided that it was photo time, lol.

monday i went to a show called Welcome Home Hip Hop. im sure the video will be up soon if you wanna youtube. mine will be up today, or tomorrow. anyway, this is Life the Great. he;s cool. got a retro sound. thats my friend Work Sam in the back.

this chick had on the most tacky shit!!! im bout to send her pic to Durty Mo, lol. got on 12 different colors. anyway, thats the lead singer from yellow wolf. he was jammin. youtube them, theyre awesome.

in addition to calling that 80's reject onstage, he also stole my shades off my face!!! what? lmao, but you know i got them back. lets not play.

13 favorite music videos

I'm a music video junkie. When I was 12 I was finally able to watch music videos after bypassing my mom's parental controls (if you put the TV on channel 2 instead of 3, all the channels are one off. At least back in the old days). This was back when MTV showed videos. Nowadays, I have about 8 music video stations, however, the quality is not as up to par as it was back in the mid 90s. You'll note that not many of my choices came from the new millenium. Here are just a handful of my favorites. (If imbedding was disabled, which was the case more than I'd liked, I added the web page.)


1 Bush- "letting the cables sleep"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX3f0iNg4rk

I kinda love Bush (there's a phrase I never thought I'd say, in times of low approval ratings). Even today, the mere mention of Gavin Rossdale will make me drop things. This was a great, well done, beautiful video. Well shot, so much tension... Then there's the twist at the end. I won't give it away. This was the last video that Bush shot and they rarely showed it on TV. Guess it wasn't trl material.

2 No doubt- simple kinda life


So, um, this song is about Gavin. I promise this isn't a trend, although there is one more Bush vid. This video literally shattered the conceptions of conventional marriage, in 4 minutes. I mean, can you see the fury in Gwen's eyes as she smashes those wedding cakes? Then there's the light up BC pack on the wall... Is it wrong that when I take my BC I think of that? Its such a metaphor! As albums go, Return Of Saturn was probably the best for videos.

3 Korn- freak on a leash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K27d7Ut5bXo

This was an easy choice. Korn was once my favorite band, and despite the fact that they are hurting right now I still love them. This was their breakthrough video, and though ADIDAS was a lil better, this one fused a lot of elements together seamlessly (each directed by a different person or team). For one, it uses a great transition point: the bullet, then there's the cartoon kids, the band in the room with the holes, the bullet tearing through everything... And its kinda intense music-wise.

4 Bush- greedy fly


This is the only group with 2 videos on my list. They really strived with their videos. I actually own their anthology. This video was based on the movie se7en, if I'm not mistaken, with a bit of magical realism thrown in with the de-winged angel, the egg, etc. I have a still from this video taped in my diary from 8th grade. Its a sickness, really. The whole thing looks grimy and just, somewhere you wouldn't wanna be, and I like that. Who's to say that something visually stunning has to be pretty?


5 Foo Fighters- everlong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_nVa9B8wWA

This is another group with a great body of work, even from the beginning when they did a Mentos spoof. This vid was based on a dream Michel Gondry had (a lot of his videos were based on dreams) where he couldn't control the size of his hands. I also have his anthology, and if you like cinematic greatness, I'd advise you get it too. Shout out to Taylor dressed as a chick! Apparently it was because Dave's girlfriend didn't want any women hugging up on him. This is where those "you never see Taylor and Alanis M in the same room" rumors came from.

6 Bjork- hunter


I remember the first time I saw this video. I was like who is this crazy chick? This ish is weird! It was late at night and it... unsettled me. I love how she turns into a bear but tries to shake it away. Our highschool dance teacher loved this song, and for some reason the video fits it perfectly. I mean, its not the route I would have taken with it, lol.

7 Nas- 1 mic


You may notice there are only 3 rap songs on this list. There are 2 reasons for that. 1, I didn't really listen to rap until I started dating boys who listened to rap (old skool excluded). 2, this was the shiny suit era. Yeah, puff N'nem made some good ones, but they don't beat anything I put on this list. These days rap videos consist of crowds, hot chicks, custom cars, a dance, and one random ass camera effect. So there.

Nas's 1 mic was the shit. The video fit the song perfectly. I mean, the alternating between him talking and yelling was set off perfectly within the video. And that screaming lil girl in the video looks like this dude I went to HS with. The images are powerful and well shot. Caint get no better.

8 Alanis Morrisette- you learn


She wears 11 different jackets in this video. I learned that from pop up video, lol. This vid is one of her best. Even better than her remake of "my humps." and certainly better than her naked "I played God in 'Dogma'" video. Its so colorful! I just like the way she's wandering through people's lives. And I think she stole that horse. The parade scene was an homage to another of her videos.

9 NIN- perfect drug


Mark Romanek. Yes. The birds, the big crazy coats, how everything is black but visually striking... He's known for that Gothic, operatic look. The whole thing reeks of vampire.

10 Outkast- bombs over baghdad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-m3ijMMkSY

I was kinda pissed when this video couldn't be shown after 9/11. It was on a list of "sensitive" videos, all because of its title. But I digress. Was this the first video to explicitly show strippers? Leave it to Big Boi.... I love how the video kicks off with a shirtless Dre running with about 100 kids. The colors were crazy for no reason. Big's hair all in the breeze, flowy and ish... That random ass monkey, and the choir. The video is about as spastic as the song, and still perfect.

11 Missy- get ya freak on


Missy came out the box crazy in 97. And she's been crazy ever since. Did you see America's best dance crew? Fanny Pak killlt this song! Anyways, the guy at the beginning is saying something like "we will make you jump and feel good." true. Missy is headless and dancing. She is spitting in people's mouth, which is nasty. She is hanging from the ceiling doing choreography. This video was freaky. Dave Myers put his whole foot in it. Its no wonder that they keep working together.

12 Janet- got til its gone

This video makes me happy(er) to be black. Look at it. Its so beautiful! It was shot in LA, by Mark Romanek, and is set in a lounge in early 60's apartheid S Africa. Insane right? Again, a visually stunning work. Everything looks so muted, like you could get a great photo if you froze it at any moment. Must be an effect he uses... If you put this video on mute and just watched it, I'm sure it would effect your mood. Make you feel deeply... Something.

13 Gnarls Barkley- gogo gadget gospel


"if you wonder what it look like, look at me." you, sir, are a sock. I did not expect that the first time I saw this video. I literally cracked up through the rest of it because the video chicks were damn socks! This is muppet "you got served." this and other videos (there are at least 4 for st elsewhere) were overshadowed by "crazy" but they were equally awesome and different from mainstream videos. I like that the band never takes center in their vids.


*PS: searching through youtube for these videos, you start to realize how stupid people are. I tend to forget, cuz I read inteligent blogs, but they really let anyone have a computer these days, don't they? And they'll argue with you and curse your soul, cuz you don't feel the same about a song as they do. Of because you spelled a word wrong. Or because you breathe. Womp*

5 senses

i just finished reading "when you are engulfed in flames" by david sedaris. last year Jameil advised me to read another of his books and i fell in love with him. im passing that book onto my friend sammy sam because she saw david on the daily show and fell in love with him. i recommend you buy this book. the thing that inspired the title? pure comedy. i was quoting it and laughing and people were very concerned about me. lol so buy it ok? its definitely inspiring the short story writer in me. how he remembers all this is beyond me. but im glad for it.

i just bought NERD's "seeing sounds." im listening to it now. there's a song called "kill joy." damn!!! be that way pharell! after all ive done? psh... anywas i really like "anti matter." the chick on that song, you can almost hear her neck rolling, lol. also, the drums on this album are on point. i love drums. i wish i could play. im not very good at multitasking my whole body toward one thing. i tried once, and got upstaged by a drag queen.

kesi and i just got from Yasin's seafood. i had a po' boy and he had enough whiting to feed his whole family... i mean even the ones in missouri, lol. it was so good. his mom said i be leaving food in the fridge all the time. i dont mean to!!! i just be forgetting! i leave the house at like 2 in the morning and im not thinking about my leftovers. in the middle of the conversation and i was like "ooh you got fudge pops?!?!?!" she was semi amused. but damn it if i dont want that fudge pop right now!!! btw there's half a po' boy in the fridge....

i want that fudge pop so bad cuz its hot!!!! i mean, record breaking temps down here. and aside for a total of 20 minutes the past 2 days, we havent seen rain since aprilish. im sweating in really not nice places. i'll let you think about that. i had a temper tantrum the other night because i was sweating behind my knees. at NIGHT!!! evil! who does that? full dislosure, ive been trying to go without a bra as much as possible. i am currently hating these gifts god has given me, simply because they require a harness. on the upside, its perfect weather for Whitewater!!!! we're going to the water park!!! i plan on spending quite a bit of time in the lazy river, getting my puffy blue-black (or in my case, caramel-bronze) on. kesi will be getting his amber- honey on. light skinned people always remind me of baked chicken at the end of summer.

because its hot and rainless, the water stinks. algae overpopulation for about the past few weeks. its gross cuz then you smell funny when you get out of the shower. you dont smell fresh and clean, you smell like algae, which iosnt bad, just indescribable. and at work, its interesting to wash things in this smelly water. rinse things out. some places had up signs that said "water smells today, we suggest bottled water." its not bad to drink, but im sure it has a tinge of sea monkey to it. you know what else smells? chai. i dont know how los angelista drinks it so much. maybe it changes with the milk. but once i got it on my hands, i then had to choose between smelling that or the weird water. i chose the water cuz its not brown and sticky (btw all starbucks use filtered water in beverages, so dont worry!). in ct sometimes the water would be brown, and they'd tell us not to drink it. but it never smelled....

Make me wanna holler

So what's been going on in joy-land? Sleep! You guys, this is hard! I get off at 10ish, which is nice, but I still usually have to wait for Kesi or his bros to get off before I can go home. Which puts me in the house at about 1or 2ish some nights. You should have seen how excited I was to get home at 1230 the other night! That like never happens! And I have to go in at 2, so I have to leave the house at 1230PM, which gives me a good ammt of sleep if I don't have anything to do the night before or that morning. Which I usually do... But this week, with my trying to recover from what is now just phlegm and a hoarse voice, I've been going to sleep as soon as I can get out of my uniform. Its not like I have the most difficult job, but being unable to go straight home is draining.
Speaking of my job, its going well. I'm finding it funny/ cathartic/ annoying that people ask me why I swithched over. It all depends on who and how they ask. Some people wanna be complete retards and say "aren't you supposed to be over there? Why would you switch? Wasn't it easier over there?" firstly, no, it wasn't. "over there", there was 3 people on night shift. Over here? 6. There's more of a even distribution of tasks, and people actually wanna work as a team because they LIKE each other, so... And if you ever paid attention to me while I was over there, you would have blatantly seen how unhappy I was. For months. So fuck off. Thanks.

Other than that annoyance, its fun. Its been pretty slow, so we've been kinda getting into interesting convos, like how one of the girls we work with has a made up boyfriend, and how my supervisor locks her keys in her office about once or twice a month. Which is a lot. Especially when anyone else with a key is at home and not coming back til the AM. And how someone I work with (I won't say who, but if you see her you'd know who) has the nickname "huffy" because she has some serious love handles. I was walking behind her one day and just-a-staring at them! And she turned around and I think she thinks I was staring at her butt. Then the other day I was telling a story and someone said, is this another story about "your boyfriend"? So I'm trying to make an effort to use his name. The problem with that is that I don't call him by his first name. I call him Kesi. But people who don't know him wouldn't call him that (he and his dad have the same name so his fam calls him Kesi to differentiate). And you know he's still considering changing his name...

I have 4 days off this week. We're so slow in the hotel! Luckily I have paid time off, so I'll still have 40 hrs, plus the holiday, which I'm working but I don't mind. Even though its pride weekend and I really wanted to go hang out with the beautiful people, lol. I just saw a girl with every rainbow ever on. I'm talking head to toe, and had the nerve to have on some damn black jeans. Its burning hot down here maam! Highs in the 80s and you know you're about to be running around outside.

Moving on... Have you ever been asked a question it was not your place to answer? This happened to me the other night. It wasn't like the person was trying to be rude or nosy, the conversation just led to it. And whereas I know the answer, it wasn't a question I felt like answering. Its hard to explain, and as hard as it is to explain, imagine how hard it was for me to dance around the answer to the question. Lol. I'm a rather honest person, and I would answer anything a person asks about me ("none of your business" is an honest answer) but this wasn't about me. So...

This girl on the train has on these banging big-lens shades. I am so coveting. Coveting like a mug! Lmao.

Breezy and another coworker are both in Miami right now and won't be back til Monday. They booked their trips separately but are gonna meet up and go clubbing while they're down there. I was hating so hard!!! "how you gonna go to Miami a clear MONTH after me? Booo! Go have fun on the beach without me..." I gotta sit at work bored, because not only are they gone, but Walter Lee is on a leave of absence until Monday, so I'm stuck with the chick that lies about her invisible boyfriend! Lol. Getting a tan and ish...

And finally... My supervisor listens primarily to country music. She did not readily recognize Marvin Gaye's "what's goin on" when it came on the store's radio. I just don't know what to do with this.
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bomb diggy bomb a dang a dang

I love this girl! Its strange that she didn't maintain her popularity in America that she gained way back in 97 (I have the cassette single of "show me love" somewhere in my house... Remember cassettes? Remember singles, lol?) anyway, cobrastyle is a cover of a song you've probably heard in commercials, I know I have. But I loves it and I loves her. And her little self singing "10 for you, who wants the other dozen" is ironic, and speaks to the lil gangster in me.

Can someone explain to me why she still looks EXACTLY the same as she did 11 years ago? If memory serves, she was 16 when she first came out, but who do you know that has the same platinum blonde razor cut they had a decade ago? Hmm. She exists in a sexy vacuum.

best night ever

For Amy, I mean. My night was good too, but that's the next post. This was my favorite part of the Grammys, hands down. I was so in this moment. I kept saying, "say something!!!" her reaction was priceless. She had just performed the most ironic rendition of rehab EVER, a fact that was in no way lost on her given the look on her face as she sung the first chorus. Let me just say, this is the best positive reenforcement for her.

liberation

You ever just hear something that gets you so deep? I almost want to just bust out singing or crying on the train right now. Cee lo's part is it though... "my feet feel like I walked most of the road on my own." I think my MP3 player is trying to tell me something. So far I've heard the carpenters' "yesterday once more, timbaland's "miscomunication," and stone temple pilots' "interstate love song." by that I glean that maybe I need to go home.






Liberation Lyrics

Political question of the day

So, my evil manager and I were watching Anderson Cutie 360, and she made some comment about romney forfeiting his delegates. I told her I didn't even know you could do that. My understanding is that his delegates would go to the convention and vote for someone else of their choosing.



So... Which one is it people? Help, I need to know, because earlier I had used the term "floating delegates" when speaking of John Edwards's 26 (I think that's how many he had).



I say Romney and Edwards's delegates go to the convention and do what they wanna. In a way they become super delegates, with no allegiance (my logic comes from CNN, which states that delegates can change their minds if they were so compelled.)



But she said that once you endorse a candidate, like guiliani did, that candidate gets your delegates.



And what about Florida? Are they still sending "floating delegates" to the DNC?


Why is the electoral process so fucking confusing?



*And let me add this totally off topic piece of info: kanye. What the eff. Why is your concert at the gwinett civic ctr? I'm so pissed at you! That's not even near me! Its like 40 miles away! What was wrong with downtown atl? Huh? Do you not remember how pissed I was when you did "on the bricks" and we didn't get there early enough for me to get a spot close enough to SEE you? Remember that? And who is enough of a fan in my circle to go all the way out there. You know our transmission is bad! I'm over it. *

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i might just scream. *editted*

Ok, timbo can do no wrong in my book. This song is hot, I love it and the video looks good too! Except... What's up with the ski masks? Is this one of those "to be continued" vids? Kesi's brother said they're the equivalent of a paper bag over these very pretty girls' heads. Who directed this and can I punch them? The worst part is that keri and Nicole are like, "I'm still sexy! Look at my eyes and lips!" stop!

*wait* stop.


Apparently there is a sex tape out there that's supposed to feature stace's twin (I'm playing, you do not look like her, your braids are cute!) New York. So this woman calls in to the porcha foxx show to say that is indeed her, and she's trying to set the record straight because she doesn't want people to sully tiff's name and she wants to find out who illegally hosted her sex tape on bossip and celebrity takeout, two sites I don't go to... Anyway, she proceeds to say that the guy in the video is her friend and they were fooling around one day so she put it on her site. "why would you put that on your site?" "well I'm a phone sex operator any way..." oh lawd! She's on some site that, when she said the name with her thick African or Haitian accent, sounded like "night slut. Com" and ended in her bra size, 38DD. And she got on one of the most popular daytime radio shows to say this, and I was walking down the street with my mouth agape. Je-sus. I pray that somewhere that interview is taped. It was literally the foolery.

Also, the R Kelly remix to flashing lights. Coulda kept that R-uh.

21 questions

After watching hours of music videos, I sent this to my brother who cracked up. Enjoy:

1. How do beyonce and shakira look so much alike?

2. And how much time did she spend with jay to be able to do such a good impression of him?

2b. And is that a baby cayman on a leash? Here comes PETA. Again.

2c. And B, what the hell is up with that braid? Gee. I'm done with this video.

2d. Wait, one more...why are you in the trunk of the rolls? I mean, it is hella spacious...

3. Unk, what is the two step? I have my own ideas but none of the chicks dancing do what I consider a two step. And do you want us to get "will smith" jiggy? Cuz this is not the ninetys boo. And why does DJ montay look like Roy Jones?

4. What the helly hell is the lead singer of fall out boy saying? Ever? I probably wouldn't even know the title of the song if not for the footer at the beginning of the video.

5. Who told swizz beats to continue rapping? He's lucky the beat is hot. Plus he looks like my boo. (yes he does!)

6. Speaking of hot, mims, why are you hot? Run that by me again.

7. Ciara, were you going for dyke? Cuz you def look like this lesbian I know who is equally as small framed but wears giant clothes.

8. Why is TRL still on the air?

9. Christina aguilera does the damn thing. That is not a question. She is a shining example of why I love 40s pin up culture so much.

10. Rich boy, could they really not fit your whole forehead on the cover of your album? Damn.

11. Robin thicke why are you so sexy? If it wasn't for the fact that you will one day look like your dad I'd find you perfectly yummy. And I read you sang "forever my lady" to Paula when you were 14. Melt!

12. Game, do you not know you are wack and not cute? Stop!

13. Gnarls Barkley are you trying to freak me out? Cuz I am.

14. Putting two r&b dudes in your video was supposed to make this thug love more believable, joc? Nah. Nobody is saying, "did you see young joc's sexy self in that video?" baleeve it.

15. Joss stone are you legal yet? Love the hair.

16. Lily Allen you are a dirty broad.

17. Bow wow, you didn't create tatts and forces. Ciara is NOT biting you. You're stupid for saying that ish on the air. Also not a question.

18. When was the last time I saw "da art of storytellin"? Puppets, yay!

19. Fergie, are you trying to warm me up by putting luda in a suit? Cuz its working! G.l.a.m.o.r.o.u.s.

20. J lo, could you subtitle this video for me? Don't think me racist, I just don't speak Spanish that well and we could use this as a learning experience! No? Por que? Lo siento.

21. Snoop, is that the "cool like dat" chick? Aw shit! But keep the chicks with the wigs. Its killin me.

I could go on for days! Sorry, no links from the berry. But I don't think you wanna be in my mental state right now.
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Playing hookie

Ok, I wasn't really playing hookie, I was legitimately sick. But I didn't stay home sad in the bed.

Friday night I felt awful. It was my first day of the stupid antibiotics the throat doctor gave me. Naturally Saturday morning my throat swelled right back up. (You won't take my tonsils out, they rebel!) so I called in sick for work. I laid around for a while and then kesi called me. I thought we were going to his house; no! We went to the movies!

His brother keem, our friend Jason and we went to Tinseltown, which apparently is the super teen hangout the magic Johnson was for me when I was 12. First we saw Reno 911, which was a good conversion. You could tell there were things they've always wanted to do on TV but couldn't, and put it in the movie. Funny stuff. The Rock was in it. He's a cute muscly guy. Yes. Of course the film was one ridiculous scene after another, and if you like the show you'll love the movie.

We also saw the number 23. Let me say now, the ending was completely surprising to me. It was a great movie. So good I wanna tell people at work what I did while they dealt with those snotty AKAs.(disclaimer: not all AKAs are snotty. But most of the older ones I dealt with had this "you're young and you're just the help" attitude. One told me she had to train me like a dog. She was real close to a whoppin.) But alas, they'd be perty pissed. It was a really good movie. Keem fell asleep and was really snoring during the movie. He missed like a good half of it. Came in at the end talking about "what happened?" Boo bro. Also, Jim Carey was kinda muscly. And that random assed tattoo was highly accentual.

So after the movie we went and got in the car and we were about to play my robin thicke CD, which I am hella late in buying, and who is on the radio? Michael effin Jackson! And the song was pretty alright. The beat was hot. And J bo from young bloodz was on it. How random, especially since before the lyrics kicked in I was like, this better not be wack. yet I still feel for him like I feel for R. They loves the kids, and not like trick daddy.

The end.

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Quickly

1. Could somebody touch Britney spears for me? I just started reading Perez Hilton two days ago. Looks like I jumped in at the right time. This heffa cut all her hair off! Please somebody hug her.

2. I been using the term heffa a lot. I called a group of cheerleaders heffas the other night. Yes little kids, but when you do a hand stand 3 feet away from a glass panel door... Well at least I didn't call her one to her face.

3. My mp3 player should be here tomorrow! I so excited! I got a Phillips 30GB hard drive player. Whoo! 16000 songs! I also bought 2 plastic covers for my pearl. I can't have it all scratched and ugly like my last phone.

4. We got some new employees at work! One is 2 months pregnant, and having evening sickness- she literally stopped me in the middle of my sentence to go throw up; one used to go to school with kesi; and one is B's ex, and an ex of someone I used to go to school with who took naked pictures of her and asked me to develop them before I knew what they were. Imagine my surprise when I did my quality check. And he was in some too. Oh lord Jesus the memories! I wish for brain bleach.

5. I have to go to a sleep doctor tomorrow. This is really getting old you guys. All I want is for them to take out my tonsils but now I have to be diagnosed with apnea for them to do it. Grr. If only I had gotten this done in high school...
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shuffle survey

i stole this from x factor who stole it from someone else. it reminds me of one of those fold up fortune tellers where the answers dont exactly match the questions...

directions: open your media player( mine's on my phone, naturally). put it on shuffle and press play. for every question type the song playing. new question, new song. dont lie!

1. opening credits:
Rapture- deftones. apparently my life is a fast paced action movie.

2. waking up:
rats rats rats!- deftones. that's what i say when i have to get up and go to work.

3. 1st day at school:
BYOB- system of a down. blast off, its party time! that sums up my high school experience.

4. falling in love:
my love- justin timberlake and TI. true, true.

5. fight song:
sweet sacrifice- evanescence. fear is only in our minds but its taking over all the time...

6. breaking up:
oh well- fiona apple. why waste an unconditional love on somebody who doesnt believe in the stuff? oh well.

7. prom:
back up- danity kane. if you cant get it jumpin you better back up off me!

8. life is good:
mutron angel- outkast. powerful magnificent and so divine.

9. mental breakdown:
end of the night- ludacris. well that doesnt fit at all! i was on a roll for a sec.

10. driving:
a bad note- outkast. see, that's why i dont drive.

11. flashback:
she lives in my lap- outkast. what a flashback i'm having. i wont share.

12. getting back together:
aqueous transmission- incubus. total love song. peaceful.

13. wedding:
mama- my chemical romance. nah not at all.

14. birth of a child:
baby girl- nelly furtado. yep! a cute one too.

15. funeral song:
where did my baby go- john legend. wow.

16. end credits:
joga-bjork. nice...

there was a second part which has the same theme but i dont think the were connected. anyway here's those questions.

1. how does the world see me?
extraordinary machine- fiona apple. well thanks world!

2. will i have a happy life?
paper bag- fiona apple. guess that's a no...

3. what do my friends think of me?
ride- brefontaine. yeah i am pretty cool. this song is on his myspace page now if ya'll wanna hear it.

4. do people secretly lust after me?
liberation- outkast. ok...

5. how can i make myself happy?
teenagers- my chemical romance. ok again... i'm not a pedophile.

6. what should i do with my life?
war- outkast. why did i put so much outkast on my player?

7. what is some good advice for me?
lost in hollywood- system of a down. you should have never come to hollywood. unfortunately i've never been.

8. how will i be remembered?
viscinity of obscenity- system of a down. i will be remembered as a dirty girl.

9. what is my signature dancing song?
egos- brefontaine. i got a ego problem i cant fix it. i am the shit... lol.

10. what is my current theme song?
truth or dare- NERD. Lol. say baby what's your name, do you wanna ride the train?

11. what does everyone think it is?
brain- NERD. i really will be remembered as a dirty girl!

12. what will play at my funeral?
the only one- evanescence. heaven shine your light down on me.

13. what type of women do i like?
run to the sun- NERD. I was hoping for a song called "i like dudes."

14. what will my day be like?
tickle- cuttin p (aka my boyfriend). its a good sign. maybe he will.

if it isnt love, why do i feel this way?

so i'm at work friday, working the national black MBA, which is interesting in its ways. my friend calls me to talk about her ripped pants so i go to the gift shop to chat about that, when who walks in? ronnie from new edition!

excuse me... new edition was the first concert i ever went to, at the age of 5, for my birthday, at the hartford civic center. ronnie is my second favorite, behind ricky. my aunt stacey was in love with them and therefore so was i.

so i had a nut attack. i was cheesing and gushing and wilding out. i asked to shake his hand because that's all i'm allowed to do as an employee, but then an equally goofy woman walked in and asked for a picture. while she was getting her battery situation correct i jumped at the opportunity. i GOT A PICTURE WITH RONNIE DEVOE! are you effin kidding?

and i met his wife. shamari or something like that, from blaque. she looked cute and she was a little drunk but it was all good. the only reason i know they were married is cuz she paid credit. and she had this stupid ring on. diamonds for months. she has small hands so it wasnt garish, but it sure was shiny.

rumor has it they went to the bar at the hotel and got drunk(er) and she flashed a waiter and made comments about her nipples. lol. lawd.

more coming soon about another best friend and the worst display of womanhood i've ever seen.

QUICK HITTERS

GENERAL:

*Who is that kid dancing in the monica video and counting money in the young dro video? i'm sorry but that is a funny looking lil boy.

*despite all his protests, doesnt it sound like big boi is saying he and andre are breaking up in the 3rd verse of "The train"? cant really quote it but when you listen he's talking about touring alone, which has happened. but he says something like, "but now i call upon my crew." hmm... still love 'Kast and the album though, so...

*"i hope that youre ready, cuz i'm about to bring you." why change the lyric from "show" to "bring," danity kane? imagine my annoyance when singing the version i know, in which dawn (i think) belts it out, only to be left in the wrong key. oops.

SPECIFIC:
*we got our second ticket yesterday for our malfunctioning seatbelt. crap! college park is running game. *bleep*

*yay lauren! i hope you and your comfy shoes had a great first day.

*i'm going out clubbing (sp) tonight and tommorow is X's birthday. yay! partay!

*comcast wont gimme my money back. i accidentally paid them twice (their fault) and now i gotta wait to get my money back. i'm feelin so broke right now.

no ashanti on this list.

its no secret that i'm scared of lightning. i almost got struck when i was a teen and since then i pretty much need to be under the covers to feel safe. last wednesday i was stuck outside during ernesto's torrent, waiting for kesi to get off work and pick me up. the only thing keeping me from a panicked rage was my music.

*outkast, "Vibrate" "prototype" and "da art of storytellin pt2"
"that's just god doin his work."

*dixie chicks, "changes"
dont judge me! really great remake...

*bjork, homogenic. especially "hunter" and
"all neon like." heavy drums... also, "possibly maybe" from post: "but afterwards i wonder, where's the love you promised me?" deep.

*Erykah badu, "certainly" and "next lifetime"

*busta rhymes, "gimme some more"
the PSYCHO sample goes great with rain.

*deftones, "Lucky you"
this song is just sexy.

*rahiem devaughn, "you"
yes...

*Fiona apple, "Tymps" "oh well" and "pale september"
her voice floats over bad weather.

*incubus, "aqueous transmission"
nice cricket sounds at the end...

*ludacris, "war with god"
unreleased dis track to an unknown rapper. the lady singing does her thing.

*MIA, "amazon"
another song with nature sounds. you could fall asleep if she wasnt talking about being kidnapped...

*maroon 5, "sweetest goodbye"
"how does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone..." pretty good, thanks.

*MCR, "the ghost of you"
*NERD, "provider"
songs about losing love...

*nelly furtado, "Showtime"
"Not fair to love you in chains"

*danity kane "right now"

last but certainly not least...

*TI, "get it"
"cuz i got it bitch."

i was remarkably calm when he finally arrived. the power of music. :)

jinx!

if you havent seen ludacris's making the video, it'll be on friday at 10:30 am. he looks so good.

i been a fan of luda since fat rabbit. he used to be on hot 97 here in atlanta when i was a teen and i'd listen to him every night. i've met him twice. once in a club i was too young to be in, on christmas, while my ex was cheating on me. but it wasnt even a big deal cuz he called me beautiful. swoon...

i'm also a fan of hair. a few posts ago i mentioned that kesi had hair down to his butt. i once told him, before we got together, that i'd marry him and have kids with gorgeous hair. he cut it before his 21st. actually i cut it cuz it was the only thing that would cheer me up about his cutting it. i still have a braid in one of my old diaries.

when he had his hair people said he looked like cris. we might start hearing that again
since luda cut his hair too. lauren thinks i'm i'm a jinx. everyone whose hair i like ends up cutting it. but they both look damn sexy to me. i cant wait for the new cd. drool...

how could i be so imature?

how could i be so imature
to think he could replace
the missing elements in me
how extremely lazy of me
how could i be so imature?
-bjork, "imature"

this song has been in my head all weekend, while talking to my friends who are also in relationships. both couples got into arguements and each had a different result:

couple #1 had an arguement over spilled coffee, literally. what started out an innocent game of keep away ended up with one person soaked to the drawers in latte, saying things he did not mean, and the other person taking the bus home at midnight. they fortunately made up, but now kind of keep each other at arm's length around beverages.

couple#2 got into it over Quality Time. when you see a person every day, you shouldnt get mad when they'd like a change of pace...and especially dont think it is because they dont love you or want to "screw" someone else. no one likes to do anything with someone else every day. not even sex. it gets tiring, believe it. they broke up, and its not the first time. i wonder if they will get back together because they are a good couple who just need to mature individually.

so my question is this: why do couples argue? what is there to gain? you say hurtful things and feel like you cant take that person any more, and usually the arguement is over something so stupid, just because you weren't considerate of the other person or you have held it in for a while and you explode.

kesi and i have never argued. we talk things out as they happen, and try to think of the other when making decisions or speaking as a couple. of course we have had conflicts, but we always allow ourselves to see the other person's point, and if one of us is wrong we fix that. usually the things we might conflict about has nothing to do with our realtionship, like if one of us fucks something up and the other is like "i told you, you shoulda dont this and that..." which is annoying wether you are getting told by a boyfriend or your mom.

it is weird to me. do these people who get into arguements argue with their friends too? i dont. if i do, its, you know, over how said friend ditched me for a random guy and left me stranded without my clothes til 2am... and thats what is known as a deal breaker. you dont hold on to those kinds of people. so why do we hold on to relationships like that?

one reason-the reason- lonliness. we are so afraid to be alone!!! god! we'd rather be argueing and fussing than to be just one person. we have to become mature enough to be ourselves, do what we want, spend time with ourselves enough to come up with guidelines for someone who will love us to live by. and it wont be a burden to them because they will come "perprogrammed" with those guidelines. we wont have to settle. we wont have to argue in order to have someone to hold us while we sleep.

i make it sound so much easier than it is. i spent the time "maturing" when my ex was actively cheating on me. but i knew i never wanted to go through that again, and i owed it to myself to be with someone i didnt have to fight for- or fight with.

so i hope my friends get the hint and realize those missing elements could only be replaced by themselves. i love them and want them to be happy too...with or without someone.