So la tagged me as an honest blogger. How sweet, right? Wrong! She did it because she thinks I'll flake and write boring things. How dare she!!! My best friend thinks I'm boring! Boo bitch. So here's some honest things about me, some she probably doesn't even know. But first, rules.
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back 2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design. 3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘honest weblog’ 4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional). 5. And then we pass it on!
1. I was thought to be blind or nearly blind at birth because I didn't respond to the doctor's stimulation. I was just ignoring him. I was literally almost blinded when a car hit the car I was in, on the door I was leaning against. Glass cut up the left side of my face around my eye. I still have scars.
2 I was kidnapped by a former close family friend. At least that's what I refer to it as. I was in school everyday but never able to go home. On my mom's end, it seemed like she was being done a favor, but the person was unstable and tried to make me replace the child she lost.
3 I once fooled around on a greyhound bus. It was still the worst form of transportation I ever took.
4 In 5 the grade I promised a boy that we'd go on a date in 7th grade, knowing that I would be in Atlanta by then. When I came back to visit the summer before 8th grade I found out he told people in our class. I denied it. I still feel bad.
5 someone close to me got pregnant with her son because she was jealous that another woman had a boy with her son's father. I love her son so much and sometimes contemplate telling him, but I worry that knowing the truth may break him, rather than fix him.
6 I kissed my uncle's fiance's son when I was 10. I just want to make it perfectly clear that I am not bama. We were not related!
7 I only resent my mother for reading my diary. Multiple times. Anything else she's ever done I can forgive. That, I have trouble with. Most likely because she's unapologetic about it.
8 my dream is to win wheel of fortune.
9 one of my exes killed someone. I only ever told Kesi, but he told a group of our friends.
10. I sometimes wish there was a concrete explanation for my weirdness, so that it could be explained away. Adversely, I hate when people dismissively state that I *would* like, do, or believe something because I am a little off-beat. Not in a "this is interesting, Joy would like it," kind of way, more like, "I don't get it, it gives me the same confusion as she does so she must enjoy it."
I love social networking. I use myspace to keep up with family in CT and to listen to my friends' music. I use facebook to look at peoples' pix and to find old high/ middle school friends. Overall they're great sites and good ways to pass time, but then there's things that make me wanna roll my eyes or log off. Here's my list of the 13 things I hate about Space/Book
1 RIP? This is #1 because it inspired this list. Some time ago someone posted a status that said something like "gone too soon, RIP lil Pookie, I know you're flying with the angels now." then others started following suit regarding this guy. I didn't know him but someone I know did, and so I asked about him. "he's dumb as hell." "you know he died right?" "you know he got shot in the stomach robbing a convenience store, right? He didn't even need money. He was just trying to be hard." damn. Word? And I'm still seeing people's status making him out to be 1 miracle short of the Savior. And I can't hate on a person for loving someone, but let's not try to gloss over the truth.
2 random friend requests Do I know you? No? "ignore." I sometimes have no desire to know the people I interract with daily. I'm not trying to add to that.
3 rude comments I had a video up a while back, and someone decided that itd be fun to berate and make derogatory comments about someone on the video, AND my 3 year old cousin. Not to mention that this person was not even my friend and I didn't even know you could do that. And so I sent this person a message stating that they'd be wise to stop talking about my family and friends before I came and saw about their young ass (this kid was about 8 years younger than me. Really youngster?). Then a few weeks later this child tried to add me as a friend and say they were "kidding." I let him know that I was not.
4 passive aggressive statuses This chick I know, every time I get on the face, her status is something like "I'm sick of these boys, I'm looking for a real man, I'm not giving my heart out any more." I'm talking about every other day. It seems to me that she keeps putting herself in these situations and then decides to make us feel sorry for her or get on a "men aint shit" wall post tangent. I'm not for that, lol. Me and men are on good terms. Then there's the chick who puts "don't be putting ish out on facebook, if you were real you would come to me like a woman." pot calling the kettle black anyone? Both of them are clearly talking about 1 person, why not just talk to them instead of putting them on front street?
5 booty shot pix I don't wanna see your ass. Thanks. I'm talkin bent over, half dressed, Luke video auditon. Its just not necessary. Save it for the jailhouse cell wall.
6 spam groups I'm all for supporting my peoples, so when they have music fan groups or event groups I join. But why is 3 or 4 members of the group sending out the SAME email to members of said group? Do they not realize they're sending it to the same person? And these teasers to events that haven't been announced? Stop! I don't like having 12 things in my inbox that are literally the same message, or are so cryptic that I have a headache when I'm done.
7 messenger I hate myspace messenger. I've never even used it. But facebook messenger is a waste of energy. You're on whether you want to be or not! When I'm on fb I'm probably on other things too. So when I click back to fb, I have some person going "hello? Joy! Are you there?" for the past few minutes. There's no pop up or bells, and its all at the bottom of the page, so I wouldn't know it was there. Wack.
8 facebook frenemies We weren't cool back in the day. But you wanna add me? I'll accept strictly to see if you're gonna apologize.
9 busy ass pages My cousin Boochie's page takes 6 minutes to load on Kesi's high speed. Wtf? She's got lil dancing things, music imbedded, neon colored spinning guitars in the background, so even once I get on the page, I now have vertigo. I haven't been on her page since last year. The headache just stopped.
10 old people "what is this mein-space?" This German guy at my job has a teenage son who loves the "mein-space." he decided to ask some younger employees about it, rather than making his own profile, thank God. But why is my old ass former manager on the fb? And a bunch of other older people too. Womp. I can see teachers, cuz it started as a student site and I do be looking for certain favorite teachers, but when my mom gets a fb account, I'm leaving.
11 tmi cousin! My cousin Chris's profile picture is his bare chest. Ever heard that phrase "put the bird back in the cage"? Yeah. Then we have other relatives who wanna declare their teenage love for a different not every week or have bikini shots or talk about what kinda "nigga gets me goin and keeps me coming"... Sigh... My mom had to have a lil talk about discretion to one of them while she was in CT.
12 how they're almost identical Facebook just changed their look and it looks just like myspace, which now has status updates for you and your friends like facebook, which got that damn messenger after myspace did. Soon they'll be one entity.
13 "online now" stalkers There's this kid who I "friended" who, every time I'm on the space, sends me a "hi," "what's good," "let's IM." how could he possibly be online so much? I sometimes think he's been hacked, but usually if they want to spam you they just cut to the chase, right? Then I think, "his messenger name is so inappropriate (its a porn term), it can't be him ." then I think, "maybe it is. Maybe he's just a freak." And this happens every time I go on there!
I'm a music video junkie. When I was 12 I was finally able to watch music videos after bypassing my mom's parental controls (if you put the TV on channel 2 instead of 3, all the channels are one off. At least back in the old days). This was back when MTV showed videos. Nowadays, I have about 8 music video stations, however, the quality is not as up to par as it was back in the mid 90s. You'll note that not many of my choices came from the new millenium. Here are just a handful of my favorites. (If imbedding was disabled, which was the case more than I'd liked, I added the web page.)
1 Bush- "letting the cables sleep"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX3f0iNg4rk
I kinda love Bush (there's a phrase I never thought I'd say, in times of low approval ratings). Even today, the mere mention of Gavin Rossdale will make me drop things. This was a great, well done, beautiful video. Well shot, so much tension... Then there's the twist at the end. I won't give it away. This was the last video that Bush shot and they rarely showed it on TV. Guess it wasn't trl material.
2 No doubt- simple kinda life
So, um, this song is about Gavin. I promise this isn't a trend, although there is one more Bush vid. This video literally shattered the conceptions of conventional marriage, in 4 minutes. I mean, can you see the fury in Gwen's eyes as she smashes those wedding cakes? Then there's the light up BC pack on the wall... Is it wrong that when I take my BC I think of that? Its such a metaphor! As albums go, Return Of Saturn was probably the best for videos.
3 Korn- freak on a leash
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K27d7Ut5bXo
This was an easy choice. Korn was once my favorite band, and despite the fact that they are hurting right now I still love them. This was their breakthrough video, and though ADIDAS was a lil better, this one fused a lot of elements together seamlessly (each directed by a different person or team). For one, it uses a great transition point: the bullet, then there's the cartoon kids, the band in the room with the holes, the bullet tearing through everything... And its kinda intense music-wise.
4 Bush- greedy fly
This is the only group with 2 videos on my list. They really strived with their videos. I actually own their anthology. This video was based on the movie se7en, if I'm not mistaken, with a bit of magical realism thrown in with the de-winged angel, the egg, etc. I have a still from this video taped in my diary from 8th grade. Its a sickness, really. The whole thing looks grimy and just, somewhere you wouldn't wanna be, and I like that. Who's to say that something visually stunning has to be pretty?
5 Foo Fighters- everlong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_nVa9B8wWA
This is another group with a great body of work, even from the beginning when they did a Mentos spoof. This vid was based on a dream Michel Gondry had (a lot of his videos were based on dreams) where he couldn't control the size of his hands. I also have his anthology, and if you like cinematic greatness, I'd advise you get it too. Shout out to Taylor dressed as a chick! Apparently it was because Dave's girlfriend didn't want any women hugging up on him. This is where those "you never see Taylor and Alanis M in the same room" rumors came from.
6 Bjork- hunter
I remember the first time I saw this video. I was like who is this crazy chick? This ish is weird! It was late at night and it... unsettled me. I love how she turns into a bear but tries to shake it away. Our highschool dance teacher loved this song, and for some reason the video fits it perfectly. I mean, its not the route I would have taken with it, lol.
7 Nas- 1 mic
You may notice there are only 3 rap songs on this list. There are 2 reasons for that. 1, I didn't really listen to rap until I started dating boys who listened to rap (old skool excluded). 2, this was the shiny suit era. Yeah, puff N'nem made some good ones, but they don't beat anything I put on this list. These days rap videos consist of crowds, hot chicks, custom cars, a dance, and one random ass camera effect. So there.
Nas's 1 mic was the shit. The video fit the song perfectly. I mean, the alternating between him talking and yelling was set off perfectly within the video. And that screaming lil girl in the video looks like this dude I went to HS with. The images are powerful and well shot. Caint get no better.
8 Alanis Morrisette- you learn
She wears 11 different jackets in this video. I learned that from pop up video, lol. This vid is one of her best. Even better than her remake of "my humps." and certainly better than her naked "I played God in 'Dogma'" video. Its so colorful! I just like the way she's wandering through people's lives. And I think she stole that horse. The parade scene was an homage to another of her videos.
9 NIN- perfect drug
Mark Romanek. Yes. The birds, the big crazy coats, how everything is black but visually striking... He's known for that Gothic, operatic look. The whole thing reeks of vampire.
10 Outkast- bombs over baghdad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-m3ijMMkSY
I was kinda pissed when this video couldn't be shown after 9/11. It was on a list of "sensitive" videos, all because of its title. But I digress. Was this the first video to explicitly show strippers? Leave it to Big Boi.... I love how the video kicks off with a shirtless Dre running with about 100 kids. The colors were crazy for no reason. Big's hair all in the breeze, flowy and ish... That random ass monkey, and the choir. The video is about as spastic as the song, and still perfect.
11 Missy- get ya freak on
Missy came out the box crazy in 97. And she's been crazy ever since. Did you see America's best dance crew? Fanny Pak killlt this song! Anyways, the guy at the beginning is saying something like "we will make you jump and feel good." true. Missy is headless and dancing. She is spitting in people's mouth, which is nasty. She is hanging from the ceiling doing choreography. This video was freaky. Dave Myers put his whole foot in it. Its no wonder that they keep working together.
12 Janet- got til its gone
This video makes me happy(er) to be black. Look at it. Its so beautiful! It was shot in LA, by Mark Romanek, and is set in a lounge in early 60's apartheid S Africa. Insane right? Again, a visually stunning work. Everything looks so muted, like you could get a great photo if you froze it at any moment. Must be an effect he uses... If you put this video on mute and just watched it, I'm sure it would effect your mood. Make you feel deeply... Something.
13 Gnarls Barkley- gogo gadget gospel
"if you wonder what it look like, look at me." you, sir, are a sock. I did not expect that the first time I saw this video. I literally cracked up through the rest of it because the video chicks were damn socks! This is muppet "you got served." this and other videos (there are at least 4 for st elsewhere) were overshadowed by "crazy" but they were equally awesome and different from mainstream videos. I like that the band never takes center in their vids.
*PS: searching through youtube for these videos, you start to realize how stupid people are. I tend to forget, cuz I read inteligent blogs, but they really let anyone have a computer these days, don't they? And they'll argue with you and curse your soul, cuz you don't feel the same about a song as they do. Of because you spelled a word wrong. Or because you breathe. Womp*
This weeks Thursday 13 is totally random. Literally the things I was thinking about earlier today:
1 my pinkie toe, which hurts
2 whether or not Tony Snow is dead or if I'm making that up
3 that damn trampoline I should be jumping on more
4 putting a grey streak in my hair
5 how this is not the topic I planned on doing this week
6 the cat in my yard
7 whether or not I sometimes look like a white chick on spring break when I dance to rap songs in the car
8 moving
9 how the decline of actual music videos shown on MTV may have to do with the decline in quality videos made by artists
10 how people don't deserve an explanation when they think they do
11 how smokers are such slaves to their addictions that they'll sit outside in 92 degree weather just to inhale more heat
12 why churches be hating, making black usher board ladies wear white stockings and nurse shoes. Don't NO black woman look good in white tights.
13 the homeless man who snuck behind the bushes at taco bell to ask us for a dollar, then scurried across the parking lot and across the street to the Wendy's in like 10 seconds.
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But maybe shouldn't do. According to myself and others:
1 Burp. Some people think its rude or unladylike. I really don't care. I do it in the company of friends who already know and love me, but some of them give me a hearty "DAMN!" when I burp. Apparently La's been telling people I burp like a man, lol. Why thank you.
2 Spit. Rashan is the inspiration for this post, as he is for the one I may do next week. I grew up with 4 boys, all brothers, who nurtured my tomboyish nature. Because of them, and the south's serious pollen count, I spit for form and function. Used to have spitting contests in middle school, which I won.
3 Curse. I curse like a fucking sailor. I think it has something to do with the fact that I wasn't allowed to because my mom didn't. She used them only when she was really mad. The other night I accidentally said "shit" in front of her and didn't even know, even after she asked me to repeat myself. I'll control myself in front of Jameil, since there's a pretty good chance she'll be spending some QT in Atlanta once she leaves PA. (squeak!)
4 Pull my hair out. One strand or partal strand at a time. I mentioned this before, a while back, and I definitely still have this problem. The "kitchen" area of my head is really short on the right corner, so that when I twist it it doesn't stay twisted. I know I should stop but its so subconscious! I'll be at work, doing something with my left hand, and my right hand is pulling out knots and stray hairs. Only the back right side though. . I need to get some braids so I can leave my hair alone for a few months.
5 Drink. My family has a history of alcoholism. My grandma drank a lot before she became a Christian, and my dad drank half a 12 pack of coronas and some crown at my birthday party then drove home. My uncle gets drunk at every gathering, as do his sons. I do know my limits, and when I went out Friday I only had 2 amarreto sours despite the offers by others to buy me more (I was safe with friends). I know my limits, but some might say my drinking at all is pushing it.
6 Have sex. Some people frown on this whole permarital sex thing. And whereas I would have liked to have maybe had sex with LESS people in my life, and who wouldn't, I think that (tmi alert) if they had what I have they'd change their mind. Besides that, we plan on being together and getting married, why not do the fun stuff now?
7 Talk so loud. Apparently I have an inner ear problem. This could be another part of belonging to a big family and not being heard, being a child of my mother, the loudest of all her brothers and sisters by far, or being a drama major and totally using that "projection" thing in every day life. Either way I once threatened to hit a chick with my boot because she called me loud.
8 Bite my nails. I don't do it as much as I used to. Actually I've pretty much stopped biting them OFF, but they're always in my mouth. They're pretty long, so I kinda bite down on the whole nail. Its hard to explain but its comforting to me.
9 Tickle Kesi. He hates it. And I kinda love that he hates it. The effed up thing is that he's so ticklish! I can't even kiss his neck without him putting my face into a head-shoulder vise.
10 Sing. Damn it, I can sing. Harmony mostly. Its just that I oversing the music. And some people, who actually wanna hear Alicia keys sing her song, don't like that. Meh.
11 Eat junk food. I am pretty sure that if I really wanted to lose this weight I keep complaining about, all I'd really have to do is lay off the doritos and fries for a second. But they're so good!
12 Give people the silent treatment. I'll get into a THING with a person, or decide that they've done something wrong. Then I won't talk to them for the rest of ever. I'll just seethe at them. That's not good. Then they think I have a tude, when there's a valid reason why I've stopped liking them. For example, chick who said gays should be stoned. I have been around her since then and my body seizes and all these bad things pop into my head that I could say to her. But I don't. I don't even say, "what you said to me a month ago really effected my feelings toward you and I think we should stay away from each other." no. I just stare at her and walk away before I punch her.
13 Crack my knuckles. And back. And wrist. And ankles. Another bad habit picked up by my tomboy cousins. And plus, I need to crack my hands because of all the crocheting and writing. But the other night while lying in bed I swung my right leg over to the left and cracked my back. Again, a hearty "damn!" was heard. I don't think it bothers him, but then I try to crack his knuckles. I used to do that to my brother, and now he cracks his own.
Is there anything you should stop doing? Why haven't you?
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This is my first Thursday 13. I was confused on the whole thing... Was there a set topic that everyone followed, or do we just wing it? I think there should be some place that suggests topics, but alas, I had to think of a topic and then find 13 things that fit under that umbrella...
Well I figured 13 things. Things that, when I say them, people say, "really? I would have not known that about you."
1 my mom is an ordained minister.
"that explains it." apparently that's what some say when they find out my mom is nationally ordained. Explains my "wild and heathenly" behavior I guess. Even though I'm not either. I'm a responsible and well-adjusted adult with my own perceptions about life based on a set of morals that I either adhere to or rise above. So bah. Anyway she doesn't preach much because she doesn't know her pastor as well as we did back in CT, but she will get teachy on you and send you home with some study tools if you ask her a theological question.
2 I grew up in ct.
"There are black people in CT?" tons actually. Most people see CT as big houses and the richest state in the union, which is true, but my home town is a suburb of the biggest city in America. And all those people don't necessarily live in that city- they live in CT. And some of them are black. When immigrants come to the us they don't stop at Ellis island. My great grand parents went across the long island sound and hung out in Bridgeport, the home of the man who invented the American circus.
3 a few years ago I briefly considered being Jewish.
I saw a documentary where this chick was dating a Jewish man and she was Christian, and they were pregnant. Do you know they found a church that celebrates Jewish holidays? Wow. But I considered it in a way that I could be a Christian but acknowledge the same holidays and things that Jesus did. Since, you know, he was Jewish. I could still do that now, but yall know I really don't do holidays. Mainly because they're overhyped, which Jewish holidays aren't, but I'm soured toward the whole thing, lol. I still wanna learn Hebrew though, so I can read the bible in another language.
4 I can clap with one hand.
This always gets laughs. I can do it with both hands, which makes me look like a retard. But I think its from cracking my knuckles all the time. I wish I could show you, lol.
5 I don't have any sisters.
"you look like this girl. Do you have a sister?" if I was home I'd think maybe you were talking about a cousin, but down here, I don't know none of these chicks that supposedly look like me. My cousin Chelsea and I are about 9 years apart and don't know any of the same people, so they couldn't mean her. No. I aint got no sisters.
6 I don't know much about "old school" r+b.
Meanwhile my best friend has every Stevie album ever. My mom didn't play it. But I know yolanda Adams and Commissioned back and front. Any "secular" music I listened to as a chld is because of my cousins or my dad, who was a DJ in the 80s. I'm working to change that. Sort of. I know The majors, but I had to look up Nina Simone when Stace said something about her the other day. However...
7 if given the option I'd rather go to a rock show.
I love rock. Actually the other day I said that I'd have my first dance to "nothing else matters" by metallica and the SF orchestra. Lol that's a definite possibility. Kesi and I went to see Korn and Disturbed for his 19th birthday. I've seen Eve for free and spent $5 on kanye. But when linkin park came to town last year I was kinda sad I couldn't see them. Rock shows don't have any pretense and its just pure energy. So fun.
8 I've never been in the King ctr.
I've stood on the porch, but never went inside. They were closed that day. I missed that field trip in middle school. I'm sure I'd enjoy it if I went, but I just haven't. No I don't feel like its my duty as a black person to go (thank you white guy at work), but I would like to.
9 I live in a dry house.
My mom doesn't drink, ergo I don't when I'm in the house. Except my 23rd birthday. I mean, yeah its my house, but I think it would be a sign of a drinking problem if I couldn't resist drinking for the benefit of my mom. So I go to the bar occasionally or restaurants and get a professional drank.
10 my favorite movie is "the Lil mermaid."
Its quite deep. All the talk of her being an outsider and wanting to belong... I think it took a different meaning when I was older than when I was a lil ocean/redhead loving 7 year old. I absolutely love that movie. I can't go into it now, lol, but trust me.
11 I used to have a perm.
Then my hair started falling out. It has nothing to do with my percieved "afrocentricity" and more to do with really tight pigtails and curling every day. I was bad to my hair. So I stopped getting perms at age 15. People have panic attacks when I straighten it which makes me think I should re-perm just to make people mad, lol.
12 I hate sweatpants.
I'm wearing the only pair I own, some hand-me-ups from my brother. They're for bed only. I feel like sweats encourage laziness. I haven't owned a pair since 6th grade. 13 I have a blog.
Of course you guys already know this. But people who don't read it are all, really? What do you write about? Am I in it? Haha. The answer to that last one is probably. I never tell anyone they can't read it though, but they never ask for the page! My coworker wants me to review her artist's CD (she's a promoter) but I haven't listened to it yet. Not for any reason besides the fact that I literally forgot about it.
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Its been a while since I've done a hate list. But considering right now, I'm feeling particularly hateful. But not so much that I can think of more than 5 things that I hate right now. They're big things, but not many things. Its the quality, not the quantity.
1. Late deliveries. Our stock delivery was late at work. And we're very busy. Here are the things we ran out of: *grande cups *Fat Free milk *soy milk *cup sleeves *creme frap base *coffee frap base *coffee light frap base *sugar *Vanilla syrup *"classic" syrup *lemonade Meanwhile we had back to back groups of young adults, which means they wanted frapucinos. Do you know how much money we lost? Additionally, we have ads all over the store for blended lemonade and mint mocha fraps, so of course people want that, and get pissed when we say we don't have it, which I can understand. Then our manager went and got us some frap mix, and we subsequently ran out of mocha and whipped cream. Yay! Yesterday was the wackness.
2.T pain's top hats They're getting bigger. What is he? The ringmaster of coonery? Its not a hot look. Neither are the golds that make his teeth look yellow. And his face doesn't do anything for the equation either. And he wears them everywhere? He must have like 50 top hats of various heights, each reflecting the foolishness of the particular event he's at. The one at the BET awards was the biggest so far.
3. Duffy's dimples Don't get me wrong. I really like Duffy. "serious," "syrup and honey" and "rockferry" are really good songs. I tend to sing along at work. But watching her sing makes me not like the song. I don't think its just the dimples, but they're there even when her face isn't moving and that's weird. I think its more that her voice doesn't go with her face, in my opinion, and so I rather imagine that she looks like she's gone through some stuff. Like Adele. I believe her. She doesn't look packaged.
4. Black men with mohawks. The only acception is Kesi's brother H. He has this loose, curly hair that works for the hawk. But when you're fashioning your afro into a hawk? It needs to stop. I automatically think you're a poseur. Yes, you're such a poser you deserve the "u" added in. H got his mohawk for symbolic reasons (he had one last year too. If you feel like checking the late may/early June archives there's pics there) and it happens to look great. But you, Mr Ed Hardy shirt? Bah to you. You are lame.
5. Gatorade I just missed the bus, so I decided to go to the lil cultural market (its really a corner store owned by Africans, but its not on a corner and they sell African, Caribbean and Spanish food there) and get me a bev. You know, cuz its hot. So I open my drink, and it flies out, leaving drops of red ass drink on me and the bag of "going out" clothes I have in my hand. And on me. So now I'm pissed cuz I'm nowhere near a sink or washing machine, and these shorts I plan to wear are white and light blue sailor stripes. WHITE! And LIGHT BLUE! Ugh. So now I have to figure out how to get this stain out and not be late for work. I have 20 minutes to get off the train and to work, change into my uniform and get a stain off my shorts so they can dry while I work. Not happening. I can't leave it because it'll set in and I'll be even more pissed. And did I mention I've never worn these shorts? Argh! I wanna hit somebody. And I lost most of my appetite for the drink, since spilling it on my shirt makes me look like a 5 year old... Hate.
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Yeah I'm a bit late... Life gets in the way of things. I haven't had the time to post this because I've been working on a few projects, which I will take pics of, and trying to spend free time with my boo since we haven't had the same days off since I started at the 'bucks. Aaanywho...
DiamondsR4eva said... Would you ever leave Atlanta? Why or Why not?
Yes, yes I would. But itd have to be towards somewhere with a beach. And don't give me that Lake Lanier crap. First of all, ocean levels never drop to a noticeable level. There's high and low tide, and plenty of room for everyone. And clam bakes! Mmmm... So yeah I would. Itd be an interesting time convincing Kesi to move though if it wasn't a career move. I'm a lil more flighty and free spirited than he.
Have you and Kesi talked about marriage kids the whole 9 yards?
Oh yes. My friend found it very interesting when I said the other day I knew I wanted to marry him before we finished high school. But yeah we've talked. Married, 4 kids, they'll have some kind of musical instruction and play sports. I would like to have a girl first, seeing as I'm the oldest and feel that I have a unique view of things...I'm more independent because of it, I feel. He wants to have a boy first, but of course its all up to God. But we still got 50 riding on it.
Where would you be without your Crackberry lol ?
I'd be so messed up. I wouldn't know my blog family, I wouldn't be able to keep up with my fam and friends, I'd miss ample opportunities to send pictures of crazy Atlantans to Lauren. I love my phone! I'm on it right now. Ooh and I have facebook mobile. :D
What clubs/events/venues would you recommend in the (downtown) atlanta area for the under 25 crowd?
Girl... I have no idea. I used to go to the Peacock, but they closed that down... Are you 21? Verve lounge was aight but I like to dance so... Plus I live near the airport. As you know there are no less than 10 clubs in my neighborhood (frozen palace, throwbacks, Ritz, crowes nest for the grown and sexy, lol) and if I can WALK home intoxicated, ima do that. So... I don't know. But if you call my job's concierge and ask for Courtney, she'll hook you up.
What do you think about Georgia State, if you have an opinion that is.
Kesi "used to" go to Ga state. I say "used to" because I'm pretty sure he's still enrolled, he just is considering going to another school. It was cool. I used to use the big computer lab under his name when I got off work and no one carded me, lol. And there was good places to eat... Lol I'm no help. I know a lot of people that went/go there, so...
Canon Obama said... ummm...why is Jadakiss the hardest it get? why is the industry designed to keep the artist in debt... sike nawIf
You know what, I went to high school with a kid who looks just like Jadakiss. He was a lil baby face. I saw him at the Compound last summer. His brother was in Another Bad Creation. I just thought about all this just now and realize that you have no idea who I'm talking about, nor does it matter.
anywhere besides Atlanta, where would you want to be?
Since diamonds asked that question already, I'll answer yours a different way. I'd wanna be with my grandma watching some kind of mystery tv show. Or in Miami again.
low paying job (like 15,000) where you had freedom and enjoyed what you were doing, or a high paying job (like 650,000), but your boss was strict and you were very limited in your ability for growth?
See, this is a tough one. Cuz I currently make more than 15000 and its certainly not enough. And I couldn't possibly enjoy what I did if I wasn't getting paid right for it. So maybe I'd go with the big money job. If I'm gonna hate the place, might as well love the money. At least I could quit once I started having kids and still have money saved up.
Vdizzle said... Question: what is your 10 year plan (something I obsess about)? It can be detailed or basic.
Argh! Let's see. In 10 years I'll be 34. I hope to be pregnant with my 3rd or 4th child, married of course, living in either an old (no later than the 70s) brick multi-level OR a new brick home of my design (no mcHomes for me. They don't have enough windows and they're poorly built). I'd be somewhat successful in radio or voice acting. But of course I know plans change. I was supposed to be done with school by now.... Lol.
*Rashan. Please look back to Feb when I wrote about camping, "Jameil doesn't like camping" or something like that, to read about the guy who's in love with mariah Carey. Suffice it to say that she's the only woman he's ever loved, if you know what I mean. Anyway, he changed his status to reflect his actions today. His profile pic is still Mimi though.
*apparently TI isn't on house arrest... Or something? Bah. Anyway he was giving away $100 an hour as part of a radio promotion/ community service. How do you calculate that though? Is it a whole weekend of service, or just when they tell you to call in? Btw I didn't call in. I had to work.
*I'm finally off! Yay! This was a hard won day off too man. I'm not gonna tell you how my feet hurt, I was on my period, and I had a little meltdown in the bread aisle at the Kroger. I'd just like to thank my baby for putting up with me while simultaneously putting me in my place.
*well, what can I say. I'm 11 days closer to Miami..
*still can't tell you about the work drama. But it got a tad juicier, and some faces got tightened, lol. But its all good for the Joy!
*kesi's mom got me a sundress! And it has yellow in it, so... Also blue, green, purple, and fuschia. Its black backgrounded, yet still summery. And can we point out that this was kinda out of nowhere? She's so nice! I'll take a "speech" anyday if they come with presents.
*the evil manager is still a dirty bitch... And no one will stand up for her
*got me some haagen dazs cookie dough icecream. Its good but it wasn't soft! Like, usually when I buy blue bell, and I first open it, its soft. But not the HD. I had to fight it... But it was still good, and it kinda kept me from eating too much...
*Look! I turned one post into 2! Lol. I'm still delirious from working, but I think I'll be better tomorrow. We're going to chili's! I have not been there in a... Possibly ever, really. I mean my bf/ BIL's/ brother works for their competitor, so why would I? But who wants to go eat what they cook all day? Not Kesi. So we're going to chili's to hang out with our friend dani. We haven't seen her in like 2 years, when she and another friend performed at this showcase. People used to think we were related in high school. I think its cuz we were the same shade of brown. You know how people are. So we expect to hear that tomorrow. Until then, holla!
Hmm. My face number these days. These are my five facts, a la madam. But what don't you know about me?
#1. I saw someone get shot.
I was 7 years old. It was very late at night and I was TRYING to sleep. My neighbor had just gotten home from a club and someone followed her home and started an arguement over some dude they may have both been seeing (I found this all out later). The telling woke me up and I went to the window. My neighbor's babysitter was onthe porch too, with a baby in her arms, when the other woman pulled out a gun. She didn't shoot my neighbor- she shot the sitter. She was a teen. She didn't die, and I had no real reaction. It was like TV. I didn't tell my mom I saw anything, just that they were loud.
#2. I have two brothers.
Every time I say that people are surprised. In between me and my bro Shawn is my "other brother" who has a different mom. I'll call him J. He's 19 and lives in NC. I hadn't seen him for 10 years and when I was 16 I came home and saw this kid in my yard, who I knew was related to me but I had no idea how. It was funny and I was so nervous. We talk occasionally, but I'd like to be closer with him.
#3. I'm domestic.
I fell in love with home Ec. In. 4th grade. Industrial arts too. Anything that means making stuff with your hands. I can cook (sometimes from scratch) and sew and fix things. I used to help my dad and I helped construct a set for one high school play and costumes for another. I think my creativity is starting to show now with the crochet.
#4. I'm a hoarder.
I have old letters, dresses from 7th grade, books for future kids... I have magazines I haven't cracked in years. Its a real problem. I'm generally a clean person, but I like to collect info. Why?
#5. One of my biggest fears is that I'll lose my memory. Why? I don't know. But its part of the reason I wrote in a diary for so many years, and part of the reason it takes me so long to tell a story. I am all over details. If someone were to ask me about an event I'd have some kind of physical evidence of it, which would jog my memory. Some stuff I suppose I could throw away, especially if its not directly related to my life. I gotta go clean my room.
So there you have it. Five facts about me. And I have to tag 3 people. I can't remember who madam tagged besides me, so let's go with Lauren, Jamiel, and Shani. Yay! Have fun!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
i stole this from x factor who stole it from someone else. it reminds me of one of those fold up fortune tellers where the answers dont exactly match the questions...
directions: open your media player( mine's on my phone, naturally). put it on shuffle and press play. for every question type the song playing. new question, new song. dont lie!
1. opening credits: Rapture- deftones. apparently my life is a fast paced action movie.
2. waking up: rats rats rats!- deftones. that's what i say when i have to get up and go to work.
3. 1st day at school: BYOB- system of a down. blast off, its party time! that sums up my high school experience.
4. falling in love: my love- justin timberlake and TI. true, true.
5. fight song: sweet sacrifice- evanescence. fear is only in our minds but its taking over all the time...
6. breaking up: oh well- fiona apple. why waste an unconditional love on somebody who doesnt believe in the stuff? oh well.
7. prom: back up- danity kane. if you cant get it jumpin you better back up off me!
8. life is good: mutron angel- outkast. powerful magnificent and so divine.
9. mental breakdown: end of the night- ludacris. well that doesnt fit at all! i was on a roll for a sec.
10. driving: a bad note- outkast. see, that's why i dont drive.
11. flashback: she lives in my lap- outkast. what a flashback i'm having. i wont share.
12. getting back together: aqueous transmission- incubus. total love song. peaceful.
13. wedding: mama- my chemical romance. nah not at all.
14. birth of a child: baby girl- nelly furtado. yep! a cute one too.
15. funeral song: where did my baby go- john legend. wow.
16. end credits: joga-bjork. nice...
there was a second part which has the same theme but i dont think the were connected. anyway here's those questions.
1. how does the world see me? extraordinary machine- fiona apple. well thanks world!
2. will i have a happy life? paper bag- fiona apple. guess that's a no...
3. what do my friends think of me? ride- brefontaine. yeah i am pretty cool. this song is on his myspace page now if ya'll wanna hear it.
4. do people secretly lust after me? liberation- outkast. ok...
5. how can i make myself happy? teenagers- my chemical romance. ok again... i'm not a pedophile.
6. what should i do with my life? war- outkast. why did i put so much outkast on my player?
7. what is some good advice for me? lost in hollywood- system of a down. you should have never come to hollywood. unfortunately i've never been.
8. how will i be remembered? viscinity of obscenity- system of a down. i will be remembered as a dirty girl.
9. what is my signature dancing song? egos- brefontaine. i got a ego problem i cant fix it. i am the shit... lol.
10. what is my current theme song? truth or dare- NERD. Lol. say baby what's your name, do you wanna ride the train?
11. what does everyone think it is? brain- NERD. i really will be remembered as a dirty girl!
12. what will play at my funeral? the only one- evanescence. heaven shine your light down on me.
13. what type of women do i like? run to the sun- NERD. I was hoping for a song called "i like dudes."
14. what will my day be like? tickle- cuttin p (aka my boyfriend). its a good sign. maybe he will.
usually i dont do these because they involve getting on an actual computer, but madam asked...
Three Names You Go By: joy, kaori, yoj
Three Parts of Your Heritage: cape verdean, ghanaian, american?
Three Things That Scare You: losing a loved one, stagnancy, great danes
Three of Your Everyday Essentials: this phone, chap stick, my coach wallet
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: my boo's sweat shirt, lowrise jeans, my burger king shirt.
Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists: only three? fiona apple, outkast, evanescence
Three of Your Favorite Songs: super star by lutha, i know by fiona apple, cameltosis by korn
Three Things You Want in a Relationship: love, respect, friendship
Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex: eyes, smile, hair
Three of Your Favorite Hobbies: crochet, writing, being silly
Three Things You want really badly right now: hair color, to not have to go to work so early, for my new pet to eat and survive
Three people you would like to see do this: kesi, kyle, B
Three Non-Physical Things about the Opposite Sex: humor, compassion, the ability to take care of me when i'm ill.
Three Favorite T.V. shows: lost, boondocks, big love
Three Songs that you have listened to while completing this meme: a beat by my booski, beautiful by snoop and pharell, my girl by sammie and sean paul.
1. when was the last time you said the word girlfriend? not as in girlfriend/boyfriend, but like, "girlfriend, i like your shoes," or "girlfriend, did you see that show last night?" meanwhile, this man, a thirtyish straight white man who has probably never used it in that context, called my coworker girlfriend. like, "well girlfriend, i'll just just let them know you sent me." what? boo. i get that alot from people who i dont think see black people that often and must assume we talk like that. essentially they are playing themselves. but i was stuck between laughing and being mildly offended.
2. i am so tired of hearing people brag about "switching lanes." ok you got a nice car, but why is your ability to move from one lane to the other supposed to amaze me? i mean, even justin timberlake said it in "summer love." also poppin bottles, and talk of your quarter to 8. getting old dear, gettin old.
3. my friend X wanted it to be known that he never said my breasts were saggy. BUT! he did say that they would be by the time i turn 23. and seeing as how i'll be 23 pretty soon, he was wrong. like i said. boom.
MUSIC i've always loved music. and i've loved all kinds, except most jazz. i play the violin and have a guitar that i can only toy with. i'm really into foreigners right now: MIA and lady sov are high on my list. and of course i love to dance. dancehall is my groove of choice.
LOST AND BONES my absolute favorite shows on tv right now. they competed with times last year but now one's at 8 and the other is at 9. both are brilliantly written and make me feel smarter for watching.
UNDIES i have about 70ish pairs. why? in high school, i got it in my head that no matter what i was wearing/doing, having a cute pair of drawers would make me feel confident. it was my lil secret. they are mostly from vickies (pink line) but occasionally i'll find nice ones from target or marshalls. i'm a fan of innuendo, so i own a few with felix the cat and cookie monster.
WRITING AND BLOGGING i've been writing since i can remember. the first i can recall was a story about my imaginary pet fish. i was 5. i'm always thinking of new things to blog about, and occasionally stealing ideas...
MY PHONE its a tmobile SDA. i use it to type most of my entries. also to read all you guys' and listen to music. and text and take pix and play games and im... i always have it on me just in case things get boring. strangely i dont talk on it much...
THE WORK COOKIES no, that's not a euphemism. my job has the best cookies. i have to put myself on restriction when i feel my addiction is getting out of hand. these things are so good they were part of lauren's birthday present this year.
WRITERS especially roald dahl, anne rice and chuck palahniuk. they are the best in their respective genres. i would rather read MATILDA, QUEEN OF THE DAMNED or FIGHT CLUB than watch them any day.
BOONDOCKS i have uncle ruckus singing 'new niggas' as a ring tone. i been reading the strip since high school and have all the books. aaron mcgruder is a genius and inspiration for the comic i have yet to write.
once again, the majority of these will be things, not people...you can tell by my blog who i love.
*the snickers commercial with the two guys singing. *the victoria's secret pink line. * the word awesome. *the fact that kesi makes fun of me and i can laugh at it too. we saw a deer and i got scared and he said i had 4 heart attacks. * the world series of pop culture. *the language i share with my friends. *blue doritos. *music in general. *blender magazine. *my phone, a t-mobile sda that cost my left foot *the cape verdean flag. and the country for that matter. *knives- though i cut my finger a few days ago. *plastic surgery shows. *ihop. *grafitti. *animals, any kind really. as long as they're smaller than me. *timbaland's music. best producer evah. *summertime. *the beach. *t-shirts with words on them. *dragon-con. only a month til it comes back around! *toddlers running and smiling. *Drunk friends. *my house, in spite of my dirty neighbors. *lost. *portishead and bjork. *all you guys' blogs. *The smell of cartier basier du dragon. and glow.
of course there's more, but i could probably go on for so long this would never get published. after doing a hate list i had to do a love list. especially since i'm faultfully optimistic.
1. my dad's in town. he's staying in the guest room, at least until my mom finishes having him fix stuff. then he'll probably head to my aunt's house. not that my mom is kicking him out... a bug- a big one- crawled on my hand last night and he came running downstairs to kill it. i screamed my face off, but he noted that i wouldnt hang up the phone or even drop it. that was kind of nice that he rescued me, lol.
2. lauren tells me every day how much she hates houston. i hate it too. i wish she could come live here. she could, but two broke people does not a plane ticket make.
3. went out again last friday. i'm really bummed that i cant see kid capri this friday. my job is staying open an extra two hours for TD jakes mega fest. its a documented fact that church groups are terrible tippers. but i'll be working 54 hours this week. back to the club- fun times. some guy put his boner on my stomach while we were dancing. needless to say i didnt dance with him no more. ew.
4. i hate on that rihanna song but if i cheated on my man it'd probably kill him too. and i'm sorry, but that cassie song is a tad whorish. the guys heard she was good? who told? but its good to dance to. and beyonce! her video is insane! lauren, that's your ringtone. whoo!
5. i spent saturday and sunday morning with kesi. i felt like i hadnt seen him in ages, when it was really only a week. took goofy pix of him asleep. ah, love.
6. i cant wait for dom to get here so we can run through the fountain in centennial olympic park. i'm saving the moment for the two of us.
1. lauren will be here wednesday. i call a monopoly on wednesday so we can go to the movies.
2. if someone offers you something, dont say, "yes, if you have it." if they didnt have it, why would they offer it?
3. there's this song i liked when i was younger called "the one." i used to think it was a happy song, but now i realize its not. here's part of a verse: "I slave the day away, giving you all i can, ready to reach new lows, dying to wash my hands." wow.
4. i decided to sleep under my own covers last night because i almost beat up kesi monday night after he kept stealing the covers from me and waking me up. i slept through the night but we didnt sleep very close to each other. i felt a little lonely...
5. a crack head said that anyone who didnt think i was beautiful was a fag. i was scattered- scared and flattered. he should know though, that gay guys think i'm hot too.
6. read jamiel.blogspot.com. the girl's a genius. that is all.
Four jobs I've had in my life: 1. waitress at Mac's (closed) 2. errand girl 3. got damn CVS cashier 4. whatever it is i do now.
Four nicknames I've been given: 1. yoj- lauren 2. "steps"- by my cousins 3. joy-joy- by the redundant 4. bitches aka "jessica jiggles"- by kesi and his crazy brothers
Four movies I would watch over and over: 1. anything with Jake Gyllenhall 2. carrie 3. little mermaid 4. Finding Nemo
Four places I have lived: 1. bridgeport, ct 2. riverdale, ga (wacktown, usa) 3. east pernt, ga 4. college Park, ga- home to gangstas and perpetrators alike.
Four TV Shows I love to watch: 1. lost 2. Good Eats (alton brown is too smart for cooking) 3. The Boondocks 4. dr. 90210
Four places I have been on vacation: 1. cumberland island, Ga- complete with wild horses 2. DC a buncha times. 3. san fernandina. FL 4. St louis. Mo
Four people I could not live without: 1. lauren 2. kesi 3. jabre 4. the guy who puts his name on my paychecks.
Four of my favorite foods: 1. blue doritos 2. anything italian 3. burgah king 4. chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream
Four folks who I have tagged: 1. kesi 2. kyle 3. shaany 4. bre
-dedicated to lauren(better to write it down than keep it in and get fat and explode) and aaron mcgruder.-
this is a compilation of random things that bug me on a daily basis. there's plenty more things, these are just the ones i thought of in the half hour trip from my house to school on the train...
*emo titles ("panic! at the disco" is the one i hate the most. also, "a little less 16 candles, a little more touch me." how bout a little less need for research when trying to listen to a song? most of the kids who listen to fall out boy are too young to know who samantha fox is. i barely know who she is.)
*old people who think things that teens do are so much worse than anything they did. Sometimes it is but they definitely overexaggerate on things.
*people who sigh in your face or put money on counters instead of in your hands. (this happens to me alot at work. alot.)
*wet money. Why is it wet!?
*people with love handles who wear low rise jeans with short tees. youth is not qualification for wearing low rise. do some crunches.
*hipster haircuts on dudes. (Do you really need to comb that much hair forward?)
*guys who talk to you when you are ACTIVELY trying to ignore them.
*the assumption that guys and girls cant be friends.
*white men who call me homegirl. Stop. No more.
*hilary duff
*people who get mad when people when people look at your breasts for like, a second. As long as you dont outwardly stare... I mean, theyre out there for a reason
*religious intolerance in the scale of hate. This excludes any episode of south park and any jokes about scientology or mormonism
*people who think they can be models cuz theyre pretty.
*thinking all male hairdressers/ dancers/ designers are gay
*people who dress like school is a club. all that makeup is uncalledfor.
*random people in the background of your pics.
*people who judge when you say you were 16 when you went on birth control. (bonus points if they have kids)
*most republicans.
*waking up before 10 am
*that "youre beautiful" song. his voice drives me up a damn wall.
*people who let their kids run all over them. or scream in public. all those kids on "Nanny 911" while we're at it. who lets it get that far?
feel free to add on or make your own. hate is natural. better to blog than kill someone. i often have to weigh the pros and cons of murdering the reciever of my hate. please remember that i mostly love...
"if there was a better way to go then it would find me. i can't help if the road just rolls up behind me. be kind to me, or treat me mean; i'll make the most of it, im an extraordinary machine."
i started this blog to figure out who i was and how to make her better. im still wondering and working on both. i am a work in progress, but i like progress. read on.
