Giving it a name

I have a headache. The right side of my forehead feels like there's a little person pulling at the muscles just under the skin. Furrowing only that brow. So the left side of my face looks kind of calm, but the right side of my face looks like Mr miagi from "karate kid." why? you ask. Because I have named my headache.

Its not a coincidence its named after the hotel. This devilish place where I work. "they got you on the schedule for Christmas." that's all she said to me, and then he ache began.

I have worked EVERY holiday since Christmas last year. Had thanksgiving off to volunteer at the shelter (remember that?). Since then I have worked Christmas, new years, my anniversary, my birthday, mlk day, summer solstice, arbor day, labor day, Columbus day, 4th of July, memorial day, guy fawkes day, and thanksgiving. I have not left town. I have only requested a handful of days off for my bro's grad, a weekend getaway that was pre empted by a friend's grandmother's death, my cousin's birth, and kesi's birthday. I came to work after 2 (TWO) funerals. I stayed late during Dragon con and every church group we've had. I am here every night closing BY MYSELF (whether the evil manager is there or not; she leaves early). They set me up for the okie doke by giving me a manager's card, making me think it was a one or two day thing, but I still have that card and no extra money to show for it. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who acts like I care. I've got shit going on in my life that no one at this job knows about cuz I'm not the type to have people pity me. I come in ontime, do my work, go home.

I have a brother in the Marines. A father I haven't so much as talked to in months. Cousins I haven't seen in years. A boyfriend who has never met this side of the family. I asked for one week off. One week so I can not go postal on these people, some of whom I have relationships with outside of work. One week, starting with Christmas, so I can see these people who I care about but never get to spend time with. One week out of the 52 I give so that people will want to come back to this place.

And so every time I think of Christmas, or work, or how unappreciated I am, I get this headache. Every thing jumbles in my brain, runs around and kicks me right behind my right eye. And it doesn't go away easily. Trying to decide if I should send my manager an email. Walk in and quit. Yell at everyone. Cry. What? What should I do? I can't keep being treated like shit. I can hope that I get this new position and that my worries are over, but can I just walk away and leave this mess for the next person to deal with?

Its no coincidence at all that this headache has the same name as this place I work.
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im fly like paper

This is my favorite song right now. People sleep on this girl but I love her. Ooh and there's a remix with bun-b and rich boy. Yeeesss...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sei-eEjy4g


And the beastie boys are in the video too. How OLD are they?!?

The Christmas party

*can we take the time to enjoy my flyness? This is me in the bathroom at work. I wanted you all to see my hat!



*i think my crew and I were going pro-boob that night. Big or small.

*sing it with me now, "oh, oh, oh, put your freakum dress on!"



*oh, believe that we did the entire "get me bodied" breakdown, except the drop to your knees part. This was still the place we worked at.

And I killed the Naomi Campbell walk.

*what is that? Velvet? Lol suede? Mink? Man... I don't know.



*they gave us 2 drink tickets with which to get our alcohol. Why were the two lushiest lushes stationed mere feet away from my table? I mean, chicks didn't take not 1 ticket.

*a guy who works at the bar upstairs, "uncle" Eric. He calls me "niecey." just about the only man who matched my classic version of style.



*ok, there was this one lady who was trying to do every line dance there was, and she seemed to bump into me at every turn. She Superman-ed me, cha cha-d me, cupid shuffled me... Sigh.

*my boy Skylar (I know, right?) had the quote of the night: "2009 I'm gonna stop talking shit about people." "what about 2008 skylar?" "you gotta give me time to build up to it! And come 2010, I'm right back on ya'll asses."



* um, what are YOU doing? Please know the dude in blue was doing that ish all night. ALL night. And at one point, he has a partner! They're all bumping chests and mugging! Lawd help me.




*i accidentally erased the video of us doing the "second line," a New Orleans dance. Ooh that one was fun. It was like a smooth conga line.



*We owned the area around the stage. We did dance routines for the DJ.



*Amen for drunk white people. She was dancing.



*Smitty, an Atlanta Legend (I love this man) walking it out.



*almost all of us had on the same shoes in like 8 different colors.

Santa? Really?

So I recently read the history of Christmas. Not to regale you with the tales of pagan pagentry and persecution (you can read that for yourself at http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm), I've decided to focus on the part about Santa.

"I told Skipper (yes, I'm going for a theme here) that Santa wasn't real, and when we went to the mall she saw one, and now she thinks I lied to her!" I advised Barbie to tell her 4 year old that the man was playing pretend, but it was too little too late. She never led her kids to believe in Santa, the Easter bunny, etc, for just that reason and usually kids get pissed at about age 8 or 9 when they found out that he wasn't real and that they've been lied to, so this is all very funny to me that the story is reversed. Reminds me of my only real experience with this myth:

When I was 5, I loved my principal, Mr Hanna. He was a tall, lively man who was great with kids in a time when it was possible to be so without being accused. He called my friend Brandy and I "Whiskey and Happy." He later presided over my brother's elementary school, across the street from my house, and I was happy to know he still remembered me.

One December day, during indoor recess, "Santa" came to visit us. "wow! Santa! Ooh, look at his bag!" all the children clamored around him and expressed their delight.

"That's not Santa! That's Mr H! Mr Hanna, I didn't know you wore glasses!" I was such an effin rebel.

From the back of the crowd, my voice seemed to startle Mr H for a literal nanosecond. He never broke character. Instead, he picked me up, held me close, and said, "shh, its pretend. Its a game!" I smiled as he put me back into the crowd of screaming kids. We shared an inside joke now.

Somewhere in my house I have a picture from that day. Framed in an ornament. "Santa" took pictures with all the kids. In theirs, they were taking pictures with an icon. A symbol. To me, Mr H may not have been so much but he was way more important to me than some figment. He symbolized more than that "knows when you're sleeping" rah rah. He was the man that called my mom when I was sick and asleep on a gym mat in the office. And I have something to remember him by.

Isn't that more important than an image? Why do people hide behind this guy who does good, when they could be the giver of good without costumes or the idea of some fat dude?

Did you believe in Santa? When did you stop? How did it make you feel knowing it was a lie?
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Silky

I just got home from the Christmas party and yes I took pictures (and video) but before I recap (I don't wanna recap til I can put the pix up... They certainly help the story) I have to tell you what I have realized today and how I've grown.

I was getting undressed, and I'm standing in front of my mirror, and I notice again that my stockings look really good on me! Like, boudoir photography good. I mean when they say "control top", my top was in control! I had noticed earlier but I was in a rush. And when I took them off, despite it being very cold out, and having walked to the bus, and having put on lotion like 8 hours ago, my legs felt soft from my thighs down. Another thing: I barely noticed I was wearing them!

Ok, before you think I'm a nut (moreso) let me explain 2 things:

1- I hate stockings. I think they're 20th century torture. They itch, run, sag, and roll over your belly.
2- I would rather wear tights or long socks, and because of this fact, when I do wear stockings they are usually cheap.

But this time, I got some $14 Calvin Klein ones from my job. I thoroughly recommend them. They're so great! That's probably what it was. Usually I spend $1.79 on them joints. CK has got me now. No matter how often I need to wear them I'll make sure I have some Calvins on hand.

I still don't like them, but at least I don't hate them now.
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Kesi at the Computer:

A variation of Kesi in the Car-

The scene: I'm sitting at the computer watching YouTube, specifically the new Keshia Cole video.

Me: this chick has unnecessarily large breasts.

Him (behind me on his futon): Yes!

Me: what?

Him (now whispering intensely): yes. I'm pro boob.

Me: uh huh...

Him: You might wanna whoop her ass. Yes...

Pro-boob?
Ok honey.
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baby pix

*For more, are ms lady's blog@ Alyseshaunte.blogspot.com*


lil braylon, trying to look at us, despite the fact that he had not yet openned his eyes... grandma (my aunt) gushing.

the hand off!!! look at her smiling!
the happy family. (there were two cameras...)

Change of plans.

Last night I put some pix up of my cousin and her new baby. Then I went on her blog and noticed that she had posted from the hospital, which I didn't even know you could do, and mentioned putting up her own pictures. So I decided to take mine down until she does that. So there. They'll be up soon, but not today.



Puffy! Damn you! Lol our hotel Christmas party is this weekend. Fun! Everyone decided to go to the velvet room after the party. Awesome. I've never been there, its way on the north side and I live on the southside. So anyways, I'm listening to the radio, and it turns out Puffy (I'm old school. I don't call his ass diddy) is having his Christmas party there, partially because his stepson is having a sweet 16 on Saturday. So I know its gonna be packed and I know they're gonna yet to charge is out the ass. Sorry puff, but no. I aint got that kind of money and I'm still kinda pissed at TI for his album release party. So maybe I'll go home? It really depends on Mo, and what she's doing, cuz she's my ride.



Also, I changed my outfit! Or really, my outfit chose not to fit my rear end... In its defense, I've had those pants for some years. One of the virtues of being the same size since high school... So anyways, I got this great black halter dress with tiny red dots on it. Its so cute! Oh, you can't stop me! I'm thinking of pin curling my hair. I've never done it before. But I think it'll be cute and go great with the dress's style.



I also sort of changed my mind about leaving the hotel. Sort of. I applied for a transfer to a different, better department. It has most of the things I mentioned I wanted in my "don't know what I want" post. So take that, random nay sayer in the comments! I just realized I've been looking for a new job since September! I hope I get it. Pray for me! I'm qualified man. I have to wait til next week to see if I am in the running. I'm all about change for 2008, so it'd be great to start off with a new position.

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Braylon James

Ok, Monday morning I woke at an ungodly hour. 730 am! Do you know the last time I woke up at 730am? Me either! Lol Kesi came and picked me and my mom up and took us to the train station on his way to work. :D we listened to the "A team" take calls about mike vick. I don't think his sentence was fair but I certainly don't think people should be pissed at dogs for what he did to them. Hurting dogs is a sign of sociopathy. So...

Anyways, so I headed to the great hotel to apply... Only to find that they aren't hiring for anything I wanna do or am qualified for. I considered walking from the hotel to the hospital, but then I decided to jump my ass on the train because it was hot. Not warm... No it was HOT! I'm not bragging, trust. How am I supposed to make money selling scarves in record high temps? Someone. Please.

So anyways I get to the hospital and go to the maternity ward. No W's, F's, or B's nowhere! The lady told me she didnt have a room yet. So where is my family? I call my cousin Jay and they're downstairs. I get down there, and where is my mom? Sigh. So I go to find her. Nothing. I get a drink, head around the nooks and crannies, still no mom. I give up that search.

1130 rolls around and my mom pops out with the dad talking about, "the baby is so cute!" my aunt is heated! She was waiting downstairs that whole time and she coulda been holding her grandson? Psh. And my mom was just being a pain. Straight up. She's used to taking control of a situation even when its not necessary...

But yeah the baby was so cute! I mean, a doll! He's so pale, which I've realized is the way with all babies. Like, he is def gonna get darker. And he has this crazy loose black hair. Soft and pretty. He's just precious! So after cooing over him through that damn window, they tell us my cousin is in her room. We head through a maze of doors even though the room was literally 30 feet away from us and go see her. She was cranky! But I woulda been too. The anesthesia made her itchy and she wanted her baby. So... After about 45 minutes they bring him in. She literally lit up. She got all glowy... We all took turns holding him, even Shamarr. I have a great picture of him holding his new bro. Right now its just on facebook, but soon I'll add them here.

I'm so happy he's here! Its so weird, I mean like last week she was out to there and he was in her belly! Now he's out in the world and ready to be loved. Its a trip! I can't wait to hang out with him and be all cuddly with him. And watch him grow up.
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actually, its Ninja Rose

And she's a dominatrix/ superhero... With a son, named Veto Dangerous. That's right, you heard me!

Exotic Dancer Name Is...

Siren

Exotic Dancer Name Generator

Had to make sure I wasn't crazy...

Every person I have mentioned this song to, says they've never heard it. Well I know that Ms lane's chorus class knows it well, but I was starting to think I made it up. Finally I googled it, and here it is people, so stop saying you don't know what I'm talking about!


"Children, Go Where I Send Thee"

Children, go where I send thee,
How shall I send thee?
I'm gonna send thee one by one
One for the little bitty - baby
born, born, born in Bethlehem.

Children, go where I send thee,
How shall I send thee?
I'm gonna send thee two by two
Two for Paul and - Silas
One for the little bitty - baby
born, born, born in Bethlehem.

(Repeat in decending order:)

Three for the Hebrew children... 

Four for the four that stood at the door... 

Five for the gospel preachers... 

Six for the six that never got fixed... 

Seven for the seven that never got to heaven... 

Eight for the eight that stood at the gate... 

Nine for the nine all dressed so fine... 

Ten for the ten commandments... 

Eleven for the eleven deriders... 

Twelve for the twelve Apostles...



And what is a derider? I mean, there's at least 11 of em...



*baby update soon! He's here!*
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Last Christmas.

Not 2006, 1999.

That was the last Christmas my brother and I got gifts from my mom. "its Jesus's birthday, not yours." and she was right, but after 15 years
(10 for the boy) of getting tons of stuff, it was hard to believe her.

We got things we still have. Our own TVs, I got a camera- which I still have but just stopped using this year when I went digital, a video game system, clothes, etc. It was great. We didn't have a tree, but that was never anything big for me. I don't even remember the trees we had when I was lil.

The next year we got nothing on Christmas. We got plenty during the year though, and nice things for our birthdays. My mother decided she wasn't going broke ("enough to get by/ enough to get fly/ only to start the new year off in debt" I know you know that song) or getting into the commerciality of a day that wasn't even Jesus's real birthday. I still adhere to that, which is probably why when people ask me what I want for Christmas I say I don't know. I don't think about it that way, and spend most of my time trying to figure out what I'm getting the few people I do shop for. And they tend to get things when I see stuff that I think they'd like. And they don't even get their gifts on Christmas, and certainly don't have to open them that day.

So I'm not really... In a bah humbug mood... I just tend to stray from hype in general. That's one of the reasons I don't watch grey's anatomy. People are saying its so great, I'm sure to be disappointed when I do try to get into it. And supposedly everyone's happy this season, but suicide rates are higher in December, probably because every commercial on tv is making those people depressed for not having family around, or not being able to be quite THAT happy, which inevitably makes you sadder.

I haven't been a great fan of 2007. I'm glad its almost over. But December is kicking me in the arse. I'm steady. Not terribly thrilled at anything, but not so depressed either. I'm "over it." that's my motto right now. Over it. Part of me wants to get sucked into it and sing Christmas carols and wear ugly sweaters, but even then I know way deep down it wouldn't be true.

I wonder what would happen if I didn't get anyone anything.
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i was hoping for Grover.

You Are Elmo

Sweet and innocent, you expect everyone to adore you. And they usually do! You are usually feeling: Talkative. You've got tons of stories to tell. And when you aren't talking, you're laughing. You are famous for: Being popular, though no one knows why. Middle aged women especially like you. How you life your life: With an open heart. "Elmo loves you!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Big things poppin.

Woohoo, ladies and gentlemen! I'm in a deleriously good mood. Clearly I'm on the verge of mental breakdown. Why? Well I just had the day from hell, and I'm outside, eating Dibs. Dibs is chocolate covered ice cream. And while its not that cold out, its too cold to taunt winter with bitesize ice cream.

So anyways, I refuse to regale you with my day from hell. Must focus on the good. Let me just say the majority of my guests got the stone face, as I was just not in the mood to fake the funk. Oh no. Anyways (for real this time), I am trying out a new hair color! Tomorrow after I get off work, I'm gonna scurry home, and dye my hair "herbal essences #24." I'm a #44 girl. #24 is a light, sandy brown. Maybe not sandy... We'll see, now won't we? I'm doing it after work because my next day off is Monday and I'm busy that day. Doing what?

I will be getting a first view as Braylon James (James, right? If it is James, are you naming him after Jay, or do you just like how it sounds?)!!!!! For those of you who aren't up on knowledge, he will be my newest lil cousin, and is set to grace us on Monday morning. I already bought him a lil somethin, cuz I'm literally a happy mess that I get to see him and one day say, "I changed yo diapers, boy!" lol I really am losing my mind right now. What else am I doing Monday?

Heading to this great "boutique" hotel to apply for a jobbie job. I walked in there yesterday and it was just so nice! So upscale! I will be a janitor for them! Ok, not a janitor- I have been avoiding my den cleaning responsibilities for at least a month, and I just aint a cleaner- but you know, I just really like it there and if the pay is good, ya girl will make moves.

I'm so jealous of the snow right now. A chick can't even get rain in this piece, and its just windy at night and pretty nice in the day, but I was actually ready for some cold round here. I would love to throw a snowball right about now. Last time I was in CT for winter (2000), it was 56degrees new years night. When I spent thanksgiving in DC/VA, it was hella cold but no snow! So I haven't actually experienced snow in 12 years. It cracks me up how when I say it doesn't snow down here people mention this "blizzard" they had in 1993. It was like, a foot of snow. Boo! Whether it snows an inch or a foot, down here people will have a panic attack and the city shuts down. And I get the chance to tell people that a foot of snow= a slight delay and your ass still had to go to school that day.

Btw, I'm working on that diary blog. I'll update you once I get a post up. Smooches!
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Tooty fruity

So, while Lauren was all up in the Stevie, I was having a legendary experience of a totally other kind.

This Saturday of course was national AIDS awareness day. Coincidentally, it was also the first time we hosted the AIDS prevention conference (not its formal name). It was fab! I think that's why Jaslene was here. But anyway, lots of minorities, lots of fierce gay men, trannies, suited intellectual demonstrators, etc.

So there's this one trio that was quite boisterous. They had on hot pink accessories, and buttons that mentioned AIDS as a social problem, not just medical. I asked the woman to explain that to me. "homelessness, sex trade, drug abuse, lack of education, all help spread the AIDS virus. If we can get people off the streets, get them from having 'survival sex,' then we can help cut down on the cases we see." deep. So they got their food and sat at the tables outside the store.

A few minutes later, I hear this same woman literally screaming. "oh my God! Oh my God! Ah! Aah! Oh my God! I love you Richard! I love you!" at first I thought someone was injured, but soon, I saw what she was screaming at. There, by then about 6 feet away from her, getting pushed by security in a wheel chair, was Lil Richard. Wearing a glittery black shirt and his trademark jheri curl 'do. Waving from his mobile throne as if he were King of The Gays.

He kept going and she decided to follow. Soon she came back, awestruck. All I could do is shake my head. "I love this place. Really I do."

So later... One of the security guards who escorted Mr Richard to his room (there were 3) came into starbucks. "did you see lil Richard, Top Flight?" I call all the young security guards Top Flight. "man... That dude... Man... I think he hit on me man..." WHAT?!?

So Top Flight then proceeds to tell us the story of his encounter in Richard's room. They chatted a bit, about where TF was from, what he was doing in Atlanta, did he have a roommate. Now mind you, the other 2 security guards are gone and Richard sent the bellman to get him some "sweetmilk." so they're alone. Then Richard says, "I had a roommate once. Boy, he used to...." and then says some things I dare not repeat because this is at least a PG13 blog. But believe I had the shocked face when TF finished telling us this. Let's just say there was mention of "lip service." He also gave TF an autograph, complete with a kiss of brown lipstick, and his PHONE NUMBER! Whoa.

The thing that I love about TF is that he was totally secure in telling us this story, and, unlike the average male would have, or would claim to, did not go upside Richard's head for insulting his manhood. We could wonder if he was slightly senile, but I doubt it. Either way, the whole thing really made my night. I'm really going to miss moments like that when I leave this place...
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3rd post of the day (TMI Tuesday)

Might as well keep it moving. I had a very interesting day, what with Little Richard making an appearance. But that's a story for tomorrow. A very funny story for tomorrow.


1. If your partner buys you a sexy little "something" is it a present for you or for your partner?

Uh... Hmm... We usually buy what we want for ourselves... So I'd have to say that if he tried to buy "us" something, itd probably be for him.

2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"?

Tall. Nice hair. Cute smile. These are just the physical things, the internal is much deeper than I can describe in 3 lil blurbs.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good a cook are you?

A 7. I have signature dishes, and I could follow recipes, and I've never made anything that wasn't edible, or even that tasted bad. I just don't like to cook. I'm hungry when I'm hungry and I wanna eat right then. Back when I used to HAVE to cook, I'd do it right after school and eat when I felt like. That way itd be ready when I was.

4. Tattoos: Love them or hate them. On you? On a partner?

Love them. As long as they mean something. Don't come at me with a tattoo of your OWN name in olde English on your back. Is that how they know who they're with? *ooh, son!* I like tattoos with meaning. Mine will have meaning. Kesi would like a tattoo and if he got one I think I'd love it.

5. Stubble: Good or bad? How often do you shave?

Ew bad! If its on him, shave man! Ouch! Scratching my face with all that. On me, my hair is too soft for stubble. But I haven't shaved in a while! I can't even remember, for real.

Bonus (as in optional):What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual and non-sexual)?

Hmmm... Kisses. Reality shows. Spooning. Summer. Light warm rain. Mexican food. Making up words. Logic games. Confidence. Whispers. Q tips. Massages. Smiles from someone who you want to smile back at. Chewy candy. Blue.
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"fashion!

Turn to the left! Fashion! Turn to the right!" -David Bowie

Yeah, that's what its all about.
1. Mo and I are always strutting around the store. We have this funky CD called "midnight soul" (but its not based on the BET show) and we'll act a damn mess in there. Working our terrible ass uniforms, lol. Can't tell us nothing! You should have seen when I finished her hat/ scarf combo, looking like Ebony Fashion Fair.

2. Katherine Heigl. Stop! You're hurting em! Have you seen the new Vanity Fair cover? She is giving it to em old school. I mean, 60s style, complete with the big sun hat and fierce black and white. I feel like that era was best for curvy women. (and she is curvy. Not that Jessica Biel curvy- please- more like Lindsay was and is starting to get back to. I feel that her body is most like mine, if I had to compare it to a white woman's, because it certainly isn't like beyonce's) seriously, all the cinching and flair and silhouettes, everything was so fun looking! Its clearly my favorite.

My mom and I were watching "Bundle of Joy," in which Debbie Reynolds gets fired from her dept store job at Christmas, and through a series of events acquires a 1yr old baby. It was funny and cute and the clothes! This woman had on a calf-length, high-waisted, A-line skirt with a bolero style blouse. Gorgeous! I just wanted to reach into the screen and take that outfit. And the rest of the movie was just as hot. I'm starting to feel her love for old movies. I bought a book of old movie posters a while back. You can get the gist of the whole movie from the old ones, lol.

3. The Christmas party is in 2 Sundays. Woo! I'm going to wear all black. And be banging! I wish I had a dress to wear, but I have a rule that I don't like to wear dresses or skirts unless Kesi is there. I just don't wanna dance with anyone and run the risk of a malfunction... So I wear pants. The top will be the "sexy", and the bottom will be the "grown." the shoes will be the "you're taller than I you were before!" But I have these cute tights I'm itching to show off. Ah well. Yeah he's not going because A: he didn't really seem into it, B: he has to work the next morning, C: the girls are going clubbing after! Woo! Yes! Its cool. I'm starting to not need him to do stuff just cuz I want to. Everybody knows I got a man... I can show him off some other time. Lol.
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I have the craziest uncle.

This is one of the "55 things I hope you blog about." I can't link to it but I'm sure if you google it or go to Jameil's page (look at my links) you can find it. Anyways...

Actually I have 10 crazy uncles.

*Melzie is a drinker who wants to be the life of the party.
*My uncle Gene yells. Its so funny though! He has grand kids and you can tell he loves them but he fusses and threatens like nobody's biz.
*Uncle Brian... He is crazy if only for the amount of kids he has. And he still sucks his thumb. And he's a fusser too. But I guess when you have 238 kids you would.
*I don't know my uncle Richard F like that, but I'm sure he's a nut too.
*Uncle Joe, he and I have the same birthday. We hated each other as kids. I think its cuz he's 6years older than me and probably was jealous cuz I'm fly and got attention moreso than the other grand kids.
*uncle Rob/Tom. That's actually 2 uncles. Still can't tell them apart. So I call them uncle Rob/Tom. And they still love me.
*uncle Richard J is a cheeser. Everything is a crazy joke. A loud, crazy joke.
*uncle Jimmy... He's the only one people really refer to as crazy. He apparently flipped out a few times, and, yeah, he lived in the attic... Had a pit bull that guarded the porch and scared the shit outta me.

But this aint bout nonna them. I'm talking about uncle Mike. Uncle Mike calls me "boy-oh." why? I'm not sure. He's a lil weird! My mom said he hit his head as a kid. He's one of those people that's really nice but clearly a tad slow. He's a bit of a prankster, and likes to sneak up on you and "boo," even when the joke was past. He's just a lil off... I can't explain it. But I love him. He puts a smile on my face. But lemme leave you with this:

Sunday I'm on the train and I receive a call from an unknown number. Usually I don't pick up, but when I'm in the fury of texting, the phone picked up before I even knew.

"hello."
"what up cuz."
"who is this?"
"turn around."
"what?"
"behind you, cuz."

So, I begin to turn around, knowing that I only have a few family members in Georgia, and I'm totally creeped out. Who is this man? How did he get my number? Why don't I have his?

And who is 2 seats behind me, laughing and cheesing? If you said "uncle Mike," you're so wrong! Haha! But if you guessed "uncle Mike's first-born son, Lil Mike," way to go! You get a cookie!

It runs in the freaking family. We're all crazy.
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"that's in the bible right? And I got a lotta peas!"

So I saw "the mist" Saturday. Effed up my whole mentality. Thank you Stephen King! Damn. But first...

So like I was saying, I was bored as hell at work. I was actually literally making a list of the things people do that really annoy me, like apologize for making me do my job, and saying "I'm just looking" when I say hi.

So I'm going through the list, and the evil supervisor comes to start ringing people up, and I look up at the guest she is ushering to her register, and its Jaslene! Youda thought it was Jaslene with $1000 the way I got hype. It literally made my day.

So yeah, I turned 12, so! I don't care what you say, the crib was rooting for Jas. She is fierce and deep and shit! And I aint hating on her accent. I don't hear that ish... My best friend from elementary school, adela, she kind of used to talk like that.

So I have know idea what she was here for, cuz I was squeaking too much. So whilst we were hugging I did notice she's quite bony. But its all good, because she did not have on any make up (I wore cover girl for a while, I know it when I see it) and chick was not giving me the hunger face. Plus she was buying food... Lol. She's clearly one of those people who's just bony as fuck. And she's not that tall, maybe 5'10"... She didn't seem much taller than me, but maybe cuz I just don't believe I'm short...

So yeah, I saw "the mist." or should I say "the mist" mushed me in the face. I went through an emotional rollercoaster with that movie. It was so good! I mean, scary movies are my thing, but I fucked Kesi's leg up! It had me squeamish! But it had enough substance that when people got deep I was like "wow..." and the old lady had me cracking up. She's responsible for my title quote. When she said it, best part of the movie, word-wise. Please go see it! It was fucked up yet good. I mean, Stephen King really got my mind all crazy. Sigh.

And I bought Amy winehouse's "Frank." Finally! Dang! Now I see why it would have taken til November to get it... I just wasn't willing to be on a waiting list that long. My fave song is still "f*** me pumps. " it is so true!
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Inspired by stace

A haiku
Title: "oh my God tyra thank you so much!"

Bored as hell at work
Then up walks freakin jaslene!
She weighs less than me.

Yeah, I met her. Yeah it was awesome.
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