I need....

*to not enjoy shawty lo so much.

*that guy who was obsessed with mariah Carey to not still be obsessed with her today, to the point where his facebook status reflects whatever goes on in HER life rather than his own.

*for the math to be right on TI's community service. 1000 hours? That comes to a little less than 9 hours a day, every day. And he's supposed to speak to at risk youth, while on house arrest. Which means he can't go around the nation doing this. I'm sorry, but there isn't that much at risk youth in Atlanta that you need to be with them for 9 hours for the next 365 days... Wow.

*a day off. Its Friday, day 6 of 9. Luckily I've worked 6 days this week so I have about 8 hours of overtime. And I only work 4 days next week, and am using my paid time off to make sure I have 40 hrs worth of paycheck before Miami.

*for time to go quick so I can BE in Miami.

*TO SAVE LIVES!! (apparently everyone I told this story is yelling that.

*to tell you about the drama at work. Unfortunately I can't until everything is settled, cuz I might get something out of this drama.

*a new, possibly yellow sundress.

*for people to not just decide that things are racist. What's so bad about lebron James's vouge cover, besides the fact he looks dumb. That's what I thought when I saw it: why is his mouth open? And the fact that the "Barbie bandits got 2 years or less, when the masterminds of the thing got 5 and 25 years. First of all, the girls cooperated. The dudes didn't wanna chime in. Maybe they should have, especially once the girls did. And this is a FEDERAL case! You let two chicks say, oh he coerced us into robbing the bank he worked at, and you say nothing and go to trial and are found guilty? Oh you're getting time. It has less to do with race and more to do withy the fact that you're stupid.

*not to hear a person referred to as a "dirty bitch" and get NO objections. I mean, she is a dirty bitch, but will no one stand up for her?! Lol.

*for my phone not to have a pollen layer as I type this from the bus stop.

*to admit that I kinda like Jay Z these days. Just a lil bit. A smidge. But that doesn't excuse the past few years, Shawn!

*new bras. Sigh...

*a pint of bluebell cookie dough icecream. Which they do not sell at Kroger. Damn it.

*for the Dream to just keep WRITING songs, and for The Cynic not to be completely right in saying he looks like a Teddy graham.

*for this dude staying in the hotel not to look just like my friend's nutty ex husband. I was scared when he walked in cuz he's a big dude and I thought he was looking for her.

*for this chick to take off those gold lamee stirrups. Wow.

*for the dude in the thermal not to be yelling into his phone about how hot it is. Just, shh dude. Shh.

*something to write about. Well I'm going to a braves game Thursday and lunch with an old friend Tuesday, so if something interesting happens before that, we'll be set! Until then enjoy this post.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Why does security have it out for me?

Don't try to convince me otherwise...

Scene: Wednesday, 2250 hours, my job. I'm behind the register and a security guard walks in. Not the one I had beef with, but another. Btw this one has a thick African accent, if you wanna go ahead and imagine everything he says properly, which adds to the effect. (no I'm not sure where in Africa. When he first started working there, his name tag said "Africa" and when I asked him where in Africa he said "just Africa." ok dude. You're not even near the first African I've come in contact with, and I'm not slow.)

Him: I need some water. I'll come back to pay for it.

Me: ok, as long as you come back in 10 minutes, cuz we're closing.

Him: ok

A few moments later, he brings an armload of water to the counter.

Him: I need a bag. Those people were stuck in the elevator.

Me: all those people? *its like 20 people standing in the elevator bay. Why would you get your dumb ass in an elevator 20 deep, WITH BABIES? Plural.* are you going to charge to the dept?

Him: no. I am going to bring the water back.

Me: why would you bring the water back if they need it? *at this point I'm so lost.*

Him, yelling: I NEED TO SAVE LIVES!!!

Me, looking at him like he's insane: what? If they need the water why would you bring it back? That makes no sense.

Him: I don't want to charge department. I'll bring it back.

Me: ok, well you better bring it back before 11 cuz if you don't I don't know what to tell you.

End first scene.

Um, what the hell just happened? Are you taking your job to seriously? Why are you yelling at me like I just stole your ambulance and you got a gunshot victim waiting? You're bringing them water, which yeah, they need, but no one is dying from some "I was stuck with 19 of my closest friends in an elevator for like 5 minutes"-itis. And if they were, water aint helping.

Scene 2. We close, and he shows up 10 minutes after that with NO WATER. Why are you here? I'm trying to close up and go home.

Him: Joy, when you try to save lives... There were BABIES IN THERE! Those people tried to kill me! They attacked me for the water!

Me: uh huh...

5 minutes later after he has been standing there doing nothing but flap his gums as I work around his big ass...

Me: so, where is this water coming from?

Him: room service.

Me: When are you going to get it?

Him: now.

Me: ok good, cuz I'm done and I'm leaving.

Him: do you work tomorrow?

Me: Yes.

Him: ok, I bring tomorrow.

End scene 2

Again, I say what the hell? Why exactly did you come in after closing just to stand there? If there's one thing I can't stand at work its someone doing nothing, yet standing around in the store. Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to go get water? I mean, honestly its not my water and I could care less where you get it from or even if you bother to replace it, but don't come around like the hero and expect a cookie from me. Oh, did I mention I didn't let him in? The other girl I was working with did. I would have been talking to him through the lil crack in the door. Cuz letting him in accomplished one thing: it got on my nerves.

So there are about 7 people on the night security shift. At the rate I'm going, they'll all have beef with me by, oh say, June? Maybe July.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Catchin up

Got me a bathin suit! That's the big news in Joyville. Its a catalyst. What do I mean? Let's start at the start.

Tuesday (last) my baby and I went shopping for my suit. That was my anniversary gift from him, since I couldn't get a wool coat... So we started at target... Yall, my target is wack for swim suits. They had one in the style I wanted, but it was lime green/black diagonal stripes. No. No. So we scurried off to Ross, and it too was a bust. They had plenty of 2 pieces, but I wanted a 1 piece! I have a bikini, a tankini, and now I need a 1! So we went to marshall's and all they had was 2xl. Now, I may have gained a few pounds in 07, but I aint blown up like that. And I'm not tall. So there's no reason. So we scurried and Lauren suggested old navy, which is where I got my 12th grade suit, which I still love. So we headed back by target, lol. They're like 3 stores apart. I hit gold right away. Found a cute 1 piece with the option to take the halter strap off, but I did a jump test and uh, no. Pix after I come from Miami! Woo!!!

So while in the mirror, I noticed my thighs were looking a lil, well, I like to refer to it as wavy. They aren't as solid as they once were. So I decided I need to do something about it. Since then I been drinking tons of water and taking the stairs. I mean I am working the stairs. Going higher than necessary, I'm hoping to reach the 5th floor by the end of the week. That may not sound like much, but the hotel has 6 floors below the 1st floor, so...

When I got home, I showed my mom my bathingsuit, and she says to Kesi, "you're gonna let her leave town in that?" he said, "well I bought it..." and then she goes all fake hysterical. One thing about my mom, if it were up to her I'd dress like her. Covered up all day, lol. She might do cleavage accidentally cuz she's got big breasts, but that's about it. One thing about Kesi, he's not jealous. Not about other dudes looking at me. He's like yeah my girl is hot, lol. He understands my need to get fly. And the tween shall never meet.

So... I started packing. Did I mention I'm not going to Fla until the middle of the month? Yeah. I'm just trying not to forget anything! I bought a new duffle bag from work for the trip. I can't be rollin out with that lime green carry on I am currently using as a junk drawer. So yeah so far I have my bathing suits, my shorts (doubt I'll be wearing them here before I go there), and a movie Lauren and I were supposed to watch literally years ago and I've yet to even break the seal cuz I said I wasn't going to watch it without her. I even hid it from myself. And when Kesi grabbed it out of my bag and said "yeah let's watch this" I snatched it from him and put it back. Sorry baby.

I'm working a 6 day week. The evil manager went on vacation. The good thing is I also got some calls from some people, so I'm feeling good about my upward mobility, lol.

My cuzzy is moving back to CT. :( I'll miss her but she's gotta do for her and her babies. I'll miss them too, and her brother. We grew up together, so in some ways I feel like we're sisters, besides the fact that we're 8 months apart. I looked at our picture that we took at sears when we were 18 and 10 months old. We had on matching pink track suits (shorts not pants) and we were all chubby and cute, lol. We been down since that age. But when she goes back, I can go back to visiting her house when I go up there! Yay! Lol.

That's all. I'm sleepy. And I still haven't moved my bedroom set in...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Mtb finale!

Yay! My mom just left and I can squeeze in a review of the finale before I go to work! *backflips*

Aundrea is doing the recap. aubrey fell out the car! I forgot about that! Does your album have a bonus track? "make me sick" I think. "ah-choo, I'm allergic to your face." know about it!

Damn I forgot this was 2 hours. Shoot I'll be late for work...

Harve Pierre looks like a big baby. I think its the eyes. Radio out the arse! It comes with issues. How you gonna not know the names of the girls in the groups. Donnie's last name is klang. Ew. And they're gonna use that name to promote him. Can they call him Donnie K? Blerg.

Ooh ms Jones. Why is she still on the air? She's ass. I see her ready to suck up though. Boo you inspire Stans of beyonce. "you gotta work harder than that." tellem dawn! Ooh acapella! Fly! That's how my mom says she knows you can sing. The boys are about to get handled by Jones. She's so ugh.

"the guy band is here." lol. Q is getting cuter by the day. Ms Jones is rough in the face. I really don't like her, can you tell? Juicing her up in her sweat suit. Boo. Mike looks mad sleepy. Eye crust... "that's good Justin, that's good." AHH! Played!

Damn, 11 of them on 1 bus? They couldn't even do a house! I think dawn and Q are doing it right. Just being friendly. Kissing occasionally, lol.

Ha, Shannon was like I'm still gone eat my candy bar, lol, nobody saw that. Why is it in the finale that's the first time I see Aubrey wearing some famous stars and straps? She's their spokesperson!

Friendly wager. "big mike I want you to kiss my feet!" yes! Lol. Ok so Donnie's coming out in April. We'll see what he gives me. I love "pretty boy." "hey, tonights the big one, we gone have big fun." that song causes involuntary booty poppin. Aubrey has on a ninja turtle shirt. I can't even hate. "Donnie. hi. How you doin?" we know what that means. And he got old DJ shook! She got all excited. Shaking and what not.

Ooh mike you better have nice feet. They aight. Boys always got regular feet with hairy toes, lol. Has anyone seen day26's album? I haven't... I caught the end.

Ooh dawn and Q drama. I mean, you go to the club with your boo and this is what happens... Ooh he may be drunk, and he is calling her name in the hall. Did Rob just say "possessional?" that is NOT a word. Is Q crying? He's gotta be drunk. Go to sleep.

Ooh quiet time on the bus. What did DK say? Nothing. Not that I heard... I am perplexed. And dawn and Q aren't talking. Why?! That's why you need to build a friendship first. Then when you see him throwing his crotch in some chick's face in the club, you won't get mad. Lmao.

Donnie really is doing a Prince on this song. And diddy is riding on him. That was funny. "no more white friends." lol.

Damn Q walked to the hotel looking all pitiful. Lmao. Puppy face for real. She smacked him dead in the face with that pillow! All in his apology. Did she just snort? Aw junk, they're playing MIA in the scene. I love that song, but I digress.

Why are they so worried about dinner with diddy, like he's gonna feed them then fire them? Lol.

The albums will "improve your sexy." and when Donnie comes out, consider your situation moistirized.

Quiet dinner. I guess they didn't include the parts of the interviews where they talked bad about each other, cuz it would be bad promo. But puff is calling for togetherness. 22 shots of tequila! Whoo party! "can we take another shot to that?" mmhmm. I think I'm concerned about Donnie. I don't think he'll do as well as the other 2. But I haven't heard any full songs by him.

The winner of the bet- danity kane! That's obvious! Duh. And yeah q you do have a point.

Ok so the 2nd hour is live. Interesting. And I'm still not dressed for work. And I have to watch an hour of show in about 25 minutes. So should I go to work late? I mean, I'm working 6 days this week, and I need me time...

Ok the boys are performing... Their dance moves are a lil off but they sound good. I like the song, but I still don't know if I will buy their album. Ooh Junebug is ghetto fab. But that argument between D and Robert was the moment I began to not like him. D went back to the high right/ low left 'do, I see. lol. What am I gonna do with her?

I'm fast forwarding through the flashback scenes. Donnie said that wasn't a date with the other girl. And Donnie cuddles good. And he's sorry for the way you took it. Boo.

"we're really good friends." dawn trips me out. "I wanna claim you." "I wanna claim you!" lol apparently dawn wasn't as sneaky as she thought she was. And Q has great lips. And they kissed! Aw! Yall better make out!

Oh lord there's diddy... That studio has the aroma of leather going strong. I love that smell. WTTD is the #1 album in the country! It flew off the shelves. I got the last copy, at 5PM on the day it came out. So shoot if you didn't get it that day, you're SOL.

This live show is always a bunch of fluff. Recaps... Ooh the girls are in performance position! My swimsuit looks like aubrey's. Only not black leather. You know?

They're doing damaged. Shannon has on shorts that are longer than the black shorts. Aundrea does too. Why? Puff is dancing, lol. *spin, shimmy, one arm up, spin again* Aubrey has a camel toe. Lmao I'm sorry. Oh I see why now. Them shorts are nonexistent in the back. I think I'm gonna utter my album review. Tomorrow! Look out for it! Ooh they are on that wall, lol. Must get dressed during the commercials!

Ok now I'm dressed. Puff is speaking on Bitchassness. He's the pied piper of Bitchassness. He drives the Bitchassness out of a town near you. "after the show ima cure all that."

Ooh costume change, the boys got on suits. Nice. And they're performing for the ladies. And Q has his leg up on the chair, very ponderously. Ooh chair dancing. Lol I'm tripping on this performance. There is a boy in the audience who knows the words, and his friend is giving him the raised brow. Now they're all on the chairs! I actually like this song. Is Robert doing a James brown? All getting carried off and pulling away. Lmao. That's a nice song. I feel it, lol.

Aubrey: who wants to party!
Mike: no one.

Aubrey: Donnie sexually harasses me all the time.

Aubrey: I was just trying to make it more interesting... For me.

She has the best one-liners. Wait Donnie had on tiger striped draws! And Aubrey is spanking him. Adult Hannah Montana? No sir. Aw look at puffy's girls! They're so cute! And they look like him! Wow.

Donnie's gonna perform. And seven still has on them ugly ass shades. And its hella dark in there. Donnie isn't actually singing, per se... Not enjoying this song. Its not quelling my worries. I hope maybe he's just nervous or sumn... Diddy that's an ugly jacket. Its Michael Jackson like, but white. This is a wrap for me. Not likin it.

This Friday, go online and you can get your bad boy tour tix. That's the announcement. I do wanna see them... And I watched the whole show and I won't be late for work! Yay! Aw its all over. No more making the band... But the hills is back!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

On the catwalk...

*i guess this is confession #2? The one I recently wrote brought up a lot of memories that I had forgotten about, but actually make good stories. I think I may tell the one about the guy I cheated on soon, but I will update you on my current life first. Until then, enjoy a story about one of the few people I'm aware of who didn't get caught having sex in school.*

So I was a drama dawg (that's what we were called, our mascot was the bull dog) all 4 years of high school. Besides learning how to act and memorizing technical terms, we also learned the backstage effects of theatre: set building, light design, sound design, costuming, etc. Each class I was in had about 12 kids at the most, and sometimes we were in group projects. Sometimes we weren't.

When shows were being run, everything was unlocked. I mean everything. We students had to be able to get what we needed without having our teacher follow us to wherever with a key. He'd be Mr keys all day long, and whomever was onstage (I was rarely onstage. I wasn't ambitious enough to learn a million lines, and I wasn't the most terrific singer. Plus I had a job, so I didn't stay after school much) would get nothing done. So everything was unlocked, all the time. Morning, noon and night.

Back when I was dating my ex, and for this purpose let's call him... Ken... We sometimes skipped in school if no friend's house was available to skip at. One day, in 10th grade, we got the bright idea to skip school in the theater's lobby. For the most part we and a friend sat behind the ticket booth and acted silly. Ken got the idea to teach me some self defense, and so we got up and play fought. Mean while the friend was walking around the room, just touching stuff. "hey, look." we looked over to her, and she is holding the sliding gate to the theatre concession stand open. "Shall we?" and so we climb in, and the perfect skip spot is born. Why do you need the concession stand during the day? You don't. No one was thinking to look for anyone there, and so as long as we were quiet... Soon the whole crew was in there, a few at a time. But it was kind of known that early in the morning, ken and I were in there and we were up to no good. Somebody may have lost their virginity in there, but I'm not saying who....

One day, James was in there with us, and he walked into the little middle room between the stand and the main lobby. "what's up there?" "why don't you go up and find out?" and so James climbs one of those ladders, the kind that you see on the side of billboard poles with the protective steel circles so you can't just lean back and fall off it. What's at the top? The mutha effin roof of the school! Oh its on. Smoking spot for the kids (I didn't smoke at this point) and complete privacy for me and Ken. In lieu of making the story longer, let's just say we only went up there for a few weeks cuz I got scared straight after someone tried to open the gate on the stand while I was in my drawers, and we fled to the roof and almost got stuck up there.

So that skip spot was spoiled and so was that relationship, though not at the same time.

For some reason, our theater's exits had a little congregation area before you got to the outside. One of them had a purpose: it led to the catwalk. The other had absolutely no purpose and therefore was used for storage. Its no secret that Kesi and I were a bit gropey in the begining of our relationship. Somewhere on this site is the mention of our first official date, which was spent making out in an empty movie theater while "how high" showed (when I finish labeling my almost 400 posts it'll be much easier to find, you perv). And so we would go to the storage area and get even gropier. I mean I had neck cramps during first period from tilting my head up to kiss him. And hickeys. Remember those? Remember trying to hide those? And with the combination of his big lips and my easily bruised skin, them mugs didn't go away for a week. Meanwhile whatever I gave him was gone a few minutes into the school day.

One day while a few of my friends and I slacked off during last period drama, we decided to sneak off to the catwalk. We played tag up there or something. Stood around and looked down at our class who had no idea they were being watched from above. And two of them, who shall remain nameless cuz they've been mentioned here before and I still talk to them, are totally going at it at one end of the catwalk! And you would have never expected it because they didn't act like they wanted each other before hand or after. It was just a secret between the four of us who were up there. And they were going to town. We could hear them giggling and whispering and whatnot...

So the next day, you better believe Kesi and I were up there. It took some convincing that we wouldn't get caught, and that we wouldn't fall to our deaths from the thing breaking. The good thing about the stairs that lead to the catwalk is that its in literally the darkest corner of earth. We started there and then it was easier to lure him up. I'm sure he forgot his fear of heights when we got up there. :) I don't think we went up there again but it was quite fun. Oh yes.

Trust, drama students were freaks.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

My big confession.

So, I really don't have many secrets, as I keep saying on yall's comments. I don't lie; I'm over that hurdle in my life where I need to impress people or hide the awful truth. You ask me a question and you better be ready for the answer, cuz ima tell you. I don't steal; I believe karma (the Lord) will repay me for my theft by taking away the things I really need, to teach me the lesson. I was a klepto as a child, but I think that had something to do with having a struggling parent and not wanting to bug her with the little things I wanted, like candy. Also, when I worked at cvs I would take chips and beverages as I was working on the floor... I still kinda do that at my current job, but I don't see that as stealing, kind of as job perks? Lol and the mgt does it. Lead by example. Do you know how much a frapp costs? I also think karma catches me on that one by giving me gas. I am not a cheater. I cheated on one boyfriend, but he was almost literally pushing me into the arms of another, lol. Long story. Anyways, karma got me on that one too, and with the honesty I had with the next dude I dated, it was actually a deal breaker for him. Not that I cheated, but the person I cheated with (James, from the begining of this blog) and he were enemies from way back. Funny that he ended up marrying James's ex (Barbie). I told you she and I shared a few exes... Meanwhile I have been with the same man for 6 wonderful years and have never cheated on him, though one of my (ex)friends tried to get me to by using some of the info I have just shared with you all against me, to make it seem as though a person can never change. And I shared that with Kesi after enough time passed that he couldn't readily punch the guy out. I'm so open with this blog that if you really did some investigations, you could figure out where I live, where I and Kesi work, and some other things about my life.

But this story aint about none of that. This is a story about how I almost didn't graduate. Yeah.

Back in 2002, Joy was quite the kid. I was skipping school, smoking weed, and still managing to have good grades and keep a job at the cvs down the street from my house. I had already passed my biology retake (the teacher failed me on purpose because I didn't do a science project. I'm sorry, I haven't done one since 5th grade and no one else failed me!) and only needed English to graduate. I was actually TRYING to catch senioritis.

So here's my class load: English, dance, anatomy, drama. English was mad easy. But I was in there with my "connect," and a few other friends, and we clowned a lot. Honestly, there was not a person in that class I was not cool with, now that I think about it. Dance... I wanted the cool teacher La wrote about in her post about the big buildings, but I got the wack "I was in a 2live crew vid" choreographer that didn't get that everyone in the class was not trained. And also he wanted to have deep emotional pow wows with a bunch of teen girls. Boo. Anatomy was bomb. The first science class I mastered to the point where I still remember that stuff. Hands down the funnest class. Except the pig dissection, which I protested on the grounds of my love for pigs. And drama was drama. I think that was the year we made the movie (oh my, remember the scene we did in your house la?). Also the year a lot of people discovered what I already knew: the theater is a great place to fool around with your boo. *canon this was the story I was gonna tell but I was told it had to be a serious story so I changed my mind. I'll tell the story of the catwalk later, I promise*

So after Kesi and I started dating I stopped going to dance class. Those two things have nothing to do with each other except that they occurred at the same time. This was Feb 2002. More time to do the homework from my English class and ace it out the box, right? I surfed the net in my favorite teacher's class. Purchased cute outfits from alloy on her credit card (we were that close and I paid her back in cash) and emailed Kesi in his class.

Spring came and with it prom and our trip to the swamp. I had a MAJOR assignment in English which I forgot to take with me to the okefenoke... After I returned Ms H had some choice words for those of us who didn't turn in the assignment: we were now failing. What?!?! Shit. Well I can just do the make up work, a little bonus assignment she gave us, where we get to write our autobiographies. Right up my alley. "and don't bother doing the bonus assignment cuz I'm not gonna grade it. That's for people who tried." damn it! So now I have to ace every assignment she gives for the next 2 weeks (all that was left of the school year at this point) just to not have this fucking 65 she gave me. Or rather, I managed to give myself. And did I mention that she didnt give that many assignments? That's why the assignment I didn't do weighed so much on my grade.

I worked my ass off on everything from then on, even reading and reporting on the slightly confusing "beloved" and doing a bomb oral report on "passing," which involved a clip from the movie "imitation of life" and pictures of my grandma and her sister Alison, who passed for white. I mean, the memories of this class are so vivid because I spent moment in that class the last two weeks of school praying and trying to look really concentrated on what was happening.

The day before graduation, we were all in the gym practicing, when my former math teacher called a series of names and mentioned that they needed to see their guidance counselor about some contrived thing. My name was on that list. When we met with our counselors, turned out we needed to find out our final grades to see if we had passed and would be able to legitimately graduate and not just "walk." there are a few people I know of from my class who got to walk and grab that empty diploma case (everyone's was empty, it just made things easier) who still aren't high school graduates to this day. So we walked down to ms H's class, all the way I was praying that I would be an actually be done with school. I had family come down, some that had NEVER been to Georgia. Cousins, uncles, aunts, oh my goodness. And I'd have to go home and tell them to take that caravan back to CT without news of my glorious graduation. Not to mention the money I'd already spent on my cap and gown, which they did not allow you to buy second hand or rent or borrow from previous graduates.

So I get to the class and tell Ms H why I'm there. She says, "find your initials on the desk and your grade is on there too." I look over and there's a table full of pink post its with letter/number combinations on them. I searched the table for mine and literally fell on the floor crying. JJ. And under that? 76. I passed. I lifted my grade a full 11 points with my awesome writing and oratory skills. She showed me the grades for both the major assignments I mentioned, and I aced them, one with a 110. And I was graduating the next day. Oh my lord never before and never since have I praised Jesus so vehemently.

After all that excitement, I fell asleep during the rest of rehearsal. And I still have that post it note. I keep it in my high school photo album. Its there to remind me that if I don't stay focused, it IS possible to fuck up the easiest of tasks.

The reason why I never tell anyone that is, well, why would I? Yeah. I'll admit that I almost screwed up 13 years of work cuz I was unfocused. I mean, I am currently wearing my 12th grade honor roll tee in bed. I made honor roll and then almost didn't graduate!? That's bad math. And I was actually VERY good at math.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

look! picutres!!!

also, i bought the danity kane album. so let me say this about my new pics (and my profile pic):

my name is Joy
and im so cold
my style is flashy
yo style is old.

lmao, enjoy!







and a few pix from after the storm...

the calm (kinda, it was rain on the horizon).

the streets were blocked off down andrew young and further down peachtree (to the left of the picture).

a view of the westin from the street.

a view of the westin from the 42nd floor of my hotel.

the cnn center with blown out windows and partially torn roof.



continue on to read my making the band review.

Making the band, episode I lost count.

Oh you guys, finally a day off! Sigh. And I kick it off with a review! Yeah! I'm excited. I'm going bathing suit shopping then getting the doll house! Yes!

Day 26 comes out next week. I don't know if I want that one. DK is that hotness and there's no question.
Rob's bringing sexy back, apparently. Mmm. When the boys have the suits on, they look like the new edition comeback album. "Home again" I think? Psh. Ooh club performance. I want this "exclusive" song. I know all the words and its pretty cool. Lmao they jumped off the stage! Lmao! Get yo ass back on the stage. "bad boy! Bad boy!" boo! They should have just left after the performance. This sucks!!! Oh my. Any other time they would have jumped at the chance to talk, now its mad pauses. Oh my gosh now they're singing "end of the road!" stop it! That was bad benny (business) right there.

The season finale is on Sunday? Damn it puff! And its 2 hours long. Chances are its mostly a concert and I WILL be bloging it. Song reviews!

"how do you feel about our performance?" crickets... Lmao. They got big drinks! Oh Lauren! We are so getting big drinks! Hear me! As soon as I see you, big drinks. Aubrey's lashes are hot. Lauren can I bring my fake lashes to Miami? Lol "I like the light on your breasts." Trippin. Did yall know aundrea is Mexican? She grew up in Upland. Which you have to say really loud, lol like when people say "west side." Ooh puff is fixing D woods' hair. Praise Jesus. "the most drastic makeover is you Aubrey." clownin!

I love red heads. I love Shannon's hair. Its that hotness. If no one has ever known I think red hair is the best decision for just about anyone, and its aesthetically pleasing. Red heads are fiery! My favorite Barbie was the one with red hair and freckles. And guess what color my hair was for a long time? It still kind of is but its more subdued. Love!

Ooh they are getting loa-ded. Ooh chicken tacos! Yes. Mmm. Bartender is the most important job. Aubrey juice? Do you really want that? Mariachi! Love it! There was one at the hotel last week. I was getting my shimmy on.

Puff! You are not darker! Stop it!

Aw shit dance moves! Damaged, damaged! Yeah! Lmao. Make it 50 times better guys, since we know your mikes go out, lol. They are acting up onstage. If they're not the lead they're just standing there! Why? Get it tagetha. I'm glad they know they got work to do.

Did yall see Laurie Ann on rip the runway? Glad to see she and puff still get along... However, given the outfit she had on, she's still crazy, lol.

The new choreographer's name is Fly. Ok... Yall better dance, lol. I would love to see that choreo on stage.

Oh, makeovers. I don't want Shannon to be blond! Why?

"70s pornstar minus the sex on camera." yea Aubrey, that's exactly what you've given us all season.

They are firing Shannon's hair up! Its crumbling! It looks like wet tissue! I can't take it. That's the 2nd worst hair situation I've seen this week!

I do want a bitchass shirt. Ooh Aubrey looks like a puppy getting her hair dried. Ooh Shannon love the bangs. I would get bangs cut but how would I reconcile that with an afro? Eventually my hair has to go back to the fro. Ok I like Shannon's new color, although her face looks a tad pale. I even like D woods better. Its less asymetrical. Aubrey is lookin fly. Its very modern, yet retro. The other 2 look the same.

Aubrey does not have on a bra under her sweater! I'm so mad at that. Ooh glam black dresses! Very Diana Ross! I've been ooh-ing a lot this episode. I'm feeling the whole album situation. I need to get dressed and run to target! Need. This. Album.

Full house boys! Get it crackin! Ooh wait, don't get the mics crackin... Mad static. But the dancing is nice... Here comes puff... Fix it. Yall did look good. Sound, on the other hand? Take two! *clack* oh that's so much better. Is puff sitting with RAY J?!? Boo! Did yall see his wack self on tyra? Talking about I watch my sex tape all the time, its like an athelete watching old games. Ew. Nasty. Anyway I like that song too. I don't know why I don't want their album too tough. They can sing and I like their songs, but I don't really do r+b dudes too much.

Dk's choreo is so on point! And are those pumas? Shoot they're probably pastry's. Oh that was a good performance. Felt all that, lol. Can I be the 6th member of danity? Please? I can be the mascot!

This Sunday: Finale! Music! Excitement! Drama! Puff yelling! Announcement! Be there, or be bitch ass!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

random

isnt this a cool lil pic? my brother doodled it after kesi's brother sent him a text msg about seahorse sandwiches (all very strange, i know, and i cant explain it). what kills me is that this lil drawing has so much to it! what also kills me is that he got all the art talent from both our parents. i mean, i cant draw worth a ding damn. i can tag though... i did some grafitti on the same paper. not my best work, so i didnt bother to take a picture of it, lol.

kesi and i went to see "semi pro" last week. Good movie. funny. It wasn't at anchorman level, but I enjoy will ferrel in general, lol. That sex scene had me dying though! I really wanna see Horton hears a who but I don't know if he wants to. Meh.

I'm listening to the first DK album right now. Still bumpin! I'm resisting the urge to just belt it out in the streets right now. I mean, this album, there's maybe only 1 song I don't like and its near the end, so it doesn't stop my flow at all. *oh, oh oh, we show stoppin, show, show stopin!* I can't wait til Tuesday! I'm going to get the album 2nd thing (after my bathingsuit, which my baby is buying for me). Its called "welcome to the dollhouse." has anyone else seen that movie? Its so funny! Ms lady and our brothers must have watched it a thousand times! "wiener dog!!" lmao. Please, if you haven't seen it, watch it. Its gotta be one of the best indie movies I've seen. I ended up with this weird crush on Brendan Sexton because of that movie and one where he played a lil thug who liked this puerto rican girl whose dad was abusive. Hurricane streets! Oh my God that one was even better than WTTD. And he was in empire records. With liv Tyler and Rene zelwiger. Marvel at my encyclopedic knowledge of 90s movies featuring awesome actors, not just "movie stars."

This dude just asked me if I knew anyone who wanted to buy a psp for $50. Boy, if you don't get out my face! That reminds me of this lady Friday, who came in the store and tried to pay with a 50... Turns out it was fake. Turns out, she sold her second tix cuz her team lost, and the random Joe on the street paid with a fake bill. She felt like pure ish. I mean, it didn't even have a watermark. It was a good fake, I will say that. If we didn't have the markers, we probably would have accepted it.

So yeah, tornado. Hit atl. Did you hear? I took pix, and I think as soon as I get a chance I'm gonna do a big photo catch up session (the pic my brother drew was in my drafts). I had to go to the highest floor of my hotel to take pix of the CNN center and the westin, which you can't even get close to. As far as Marta I'm pretty sure they're not letting people off at the CNN ctr station... Its all very crazy. I uttered about it so I'm not gonna repeat myself, but I will say that even during the storm I underestimated what exactly was going on outside my job. But everyone I know is ok. There were a few close calls, including a friend who I'm sure has to move and one whose back windows blew out from the pressure while she was driving home.

Last but not least, guess who I met yesterday? Andrew young!!! He's so sweet! And a joker. I told him I loved seeing him on the colbert report, and he says, "yall didn't know I could sing, did you?" lol I was trying to get deep with him, about the whole strike thing, and how he and mlk negotiated with colbert's dad to end the nurse's strike in SC. And his wife (who is bangin in that Claire huxtable way) said SHE didn't even know that story before he told it on tv. And despite all the bull and drama, this is why I love my job. Who among us can say they met and had a silly convo with the man who has a street not 2 blocks from my job named after him?

Informal survey

So the other day I was having a deep political conversation with a few coworkers, where some things were said, lol. I said I wouldn't vote for barack if he were a republican, which caused me to have to explain myself (what I meant was I wouldn't vote for a black republican just because he was black. Politically there are things that are the basis of republican-ness that I just can't stand by) and the guy we were talking to said he likes Hilary because she was "dangerous," as in the other side HATES her. The evil manager said she'd vote for McCain if Barack lost, which I found interesting because they don't stand for remotely similar things. And also because I would never vote for McCain.

So this, and the fact that it was one of Jack cafferty's questions that day, made me wonder, if the person you wanted to win the nomination didn't, who would you vote for in November? I would hold off on the quick answer, but I think its clear I'd vote for Hills if Barack didn't get the nom. But I'll explain why later. Btw, she did say she hopes we will vote for him if she doesn't.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Death of the bang

New utter! Please comment here. I have trouble responding on the site for some reason...

Anyway my bangs are a tranny mess. But you know what they say about all good things...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Bangs

That's what I have today. And my forehead is a lil sweaty. I knew it was gonna be 74 today, cuz I sat there and watched the weather report on the news today! And yet I still decided to curl my hair to the front, lol. What the eff! Lol. Luckily I'm now on the train and they survived.

Unfortunately this might be the press's last hurrah until October. Sigh. Its starting to get hot out, not warm, cuz we seem to skip right over that phenomenon in the spring. Straight to hot. Straight to sweating out a hard-fought press and curl. Did I ever tell you about the first day of 12th grade?

So my mom was so sweet as to press my hair the morning of school. Thanks mom! I was fresh to death! I had on a red sleeveless top and a denim colored (as opposed to actual denim) miniskirt with graffiti print. I can't remember the shoes, but they were on point! So, unfortunately, I had to walk up this devilish hill to get to the bus (also I had to jump a fence, which I didn't mind doing in the skirt cuz no one was around). I'm walking, and I start to notice the 'do is catching a little body. By the time I get to the stop, I have a glorified afro, doo wop style, with those triangular metal clips holding down the hair around my face. Not cute! I mean my hair went from bone straight to its original state in a matter of 10 minutes. And believe there is a photo. Someone thought itd be great to catch Kesi and I on the way to the cafeteria, and while I sometimes look at that picture and think that its one of the few that we took before were dating, and yet we look adoreable, I also look at it and say, "look at that hair!" tragic I tell ya.

So anyways, I now know how to hit up a nice shiny french braid if that ever happens again, but the dry heat in Atlanta is no good for a press. I remember getting my hair done in CT and getting off the plane here with no semblance of the do left by the time I got home.

This week I bought some ol school curl wax and did spiral curls. Cute! I got so many complements! I even loved myself so much I took self portraits, which I will be sure to post soon. This girl who works in the operator ctr told me my hair looked cute and while thanking her and primping I almost walked into a wall. See what the big head gets ya? I had to even laugh at my dumb self for that one, lol. Kesi even gave a compliment, and touched it a lil, lol. He's darling.

I'm glad I got to get my Shirley temple on (it wasn't that curly, but you know what I mean) before the heat set in. Not being able to have "the juice" (as this chick I went to high school with used to call it) for a while will suck, but, on the upside, I can justify double java chip frapps again! Had one once I got to work and it surely hit the spot, lol.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

The Bah list

These are all things that I am officially dismissing from my life. Things that I will say "bah" to. Feel free to say bah too!

*people calling La a speaking on stupidity. I mean, she told me about 2 people calling her just last week, and there's no telling how many she didn't tell me about. Its the inspiration for this post. Bah.

*that evil manager who called in sick Thursday, then came to work Friday (when we went from 30% to 100% capacity) and left early because her back was hurting from throwing up the day before. Meanwhile I'm literally standing in the SAME spot for the last hour of my shift, and when I call security to get someone on the doors so I can close on time, who shows up? Oh, just the guy who I narc-ed on a few weeks ago for sneaking in the back door of the store. Did I mention we were giving each other the silent treatment since then? Bah.

*the fact that the project runway finale doesn't replay until TONIGHT, despite the fact that I wanted to watch it this past weekend!!!! *stomps feet in a tantrum* bah!!!

*chocolate skittles. Ew, and bah.

*the fact that my heat stops working when it gets too cold. What? Bah.

*there are NO one piece bathing suits at my target? Bah.

*i got Kesi an MP3 player for our anniversary. After ordering it BEFORE my birthday, it was mailed and sent back through insufficient address, then I emailed the store to see about it, then he realized it had been sent back. Then he mailed it to me without the charger, so I didn't give it to Kesi til last week! He went through some things putting music on it, then the thing won't hold a charge! After all that! Bah!!!

*i can't get into the hang of exercising. I want to, but I'm lazy. Or unmotivated. Maybe I don't think I look bad enough to need to exercise. I realize I shouldn't get to that point, but... Also, I'm good with group stuff, like sports, but I don't have time! Lil bah with a sigh...

*someone threw a dead squirrel on my lawn. The messed up part was that I SAW the squirrel in the street yesterday, so why would someone move roadkill from the street to the grass? Bah.

At the previously mentioned target, this man was shoplifting and actually got away! The cops chased him to his car but they couldn't bust the window. Then one cop pulled out his gun and was maybe gonna shoot the tires, but he hesitated, plus there was hella people around, including myself and Kesi (dude ran out just as we were leaving the store). I so wanted dude to get caught, cuz it would have been cool to see someone get arrested, plus he's raising MY honest, hardworking prices. Know what I'm saying? Bah.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Making the band episode 6

I think its 6... Yall know I missed an episode. Anyway, there's gonna be a fight! And I have a thumb cramp I'm working through. Here we go!

Diddy, you're not blue black yet! Wearing a white tee doesn't make you look tanner.

Ooh a yacht! Loves it! Will, negroes love the yacht! Ooh all you had to tell mike was there was food on the yacht and he hopped right out the bed, lol. Aubrey, I need your shades! I'm all over the gigantic shades right now. Why is mike scared? Yachts just don't capsize... And you're injured, so you stay near the middle.

I rocks the party that rocks the body (ooh ooh)!

Is Shannon still married? I'm about to wiki the girls and find out. She aint mentioned her man once.

"its me! Its really me!" yes, yes diddy, we see you.

Did (can I call him did?) says he is still in love with kim. Um, maybe you shouldn't have slept with that hairdresser in the A, and done it raw so now she had your baby a few months older than your twins... But, you know...

Dawn and Q are gonna have funny teethed babies, lol.

D woods! Don't make me call you by you're real name cuz you know I know it! Fix. That. Hair. Commercial.

I hate this commercial where the dog is licking the man's feet. That is so nasty! Nasty ass...

And we're back! Bitchassness in the political party. This man made tee shirts! He flew out the window with that slogan.

That sucka for love is gonna be a gay anthem. Mark my words.

"spank me?" ooh wee. Dirty. Freaky. i don't know what to do or say about it.

Slam looks like donnel Jones. What ever happened to him?

I'm sorry, I do not like robert. I don't want to look at him. He looks soft, lol. And um small head, tone it down. All that yellin. I'm digging the production on that song though. Diddy can't be mad. That harmony was on top of the point. Stomping on the point.

Yeah commercial over. I'm fast forwarding through them. Yay dvr! I'm starting to like Q. And I can see what Ms lady says about Willie. But we need to call him will. All the time. None of that -ie suffix. So diddy just called small head the weakest link and told them to lose weight.

But Robert, just cuz you put on the show doesn't mean your voice is on point like that. Cuz its not.

They are arguing over the blankin shower. Two dirty dudes fighting. Are you playing? Take a damn shower. Fighting over water. Really?

Aubrey's eyes are crazy big. She has those "I will stab you" eyes, lol. Michael! That's what I'm saying! "I can't believe 20somethings are arguing over the shower." I like how Aubrey started him on the talk about your feelings, and then she's cracking up about it.

Who smooched the glass Donnie? I just noticed his hair isn't super gelled! Yay, guido's leaving!

"damaged!" that's my jam! I'm shaking my booty a lil. Shaking my ass! And Shannon has a lead! Yeah!

Rob got a fucking ego! Jeez! Shut up! "I could be the style of this group." what ever. Cut it.

Aubrey, you're boobs are huge! Ima need you to consider a more supportive swim suit. Oh I wanna be on the water. Just jealous of them right now. Jealous!

Dawn wrote a song. I'm feelin it! I know that feeling of "look what I did!" and when its fly? Oh yeah. My booty's moving again. You better get your writing cred dawn! Do it!

I wanna go back for a minute. Small head got kids? Do they have small heads too? Small head is picking fights. Nobody was talking to him! They are in close quarters acting stupid. Just wackery.

The hills is coming back! Yay! I'm so ready.

Ok, back to the show. I need small head to go to anger management. They are killin me right now cuz they had arguments about who's gonna fight. Mike is so cute! He's got a charming smile.

"stop being so aggressive." -to small head
"stop being so emotional." - to Robert
So true.

What song are they singing with ankh!?! That was horrible! Luckily there isn't more of that.

"got me going." eh. I'll dance to it in the club, lol. I can imagine diddy dancing to it, spinnin and what not... "panties..." that's his response to the song.

You gotta ship diamond in the first week to go diamond in the first week. I doubt, seeing that they're a new group, that they'll even ship platinum. So... Boo mike. But good try.

Next week: Shannon! Hair dye! Breakage! Day 26 performs! Or not! Celebration! Intermission!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Utterin!

Check out my new utter damnit! Lol I was in rare form. Loves it! Again I'd like to apologize to stace for the rudeness. Smooches! 2 real posts coming soon.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

the girl is mine

i literally checked youtube 5 times waiting for this clip to be uploaded. some things to consider....


1. i didnt know SC could sing so well! i mean, he's no john l but he's holding his own and has nice vocal control.

2. this whole thing started with them claiming to love america more than the other. so essentially they are singing about america. it makes more sense than any woman paul mccartney and michael would have in common...

3. at about 2:51 john legend makes the most intense face ever. its as if he's saying, "you lucky I'M playing the piano right now, or i'd tear you up." instead, he just continues singing, and the next line says enough.

enjoy!!!!

Holly.

I met Holly the same day I met Lauren. Just a few hours earlier. It was the first day of 7th grade when the kids who lived in hapeville were rezoned to our middle school from the "other, more ghetto middle school" to quote myself. Among those transfered were Barbie, her now husband, and Holly, all who were in my homeroom.

She and I were fast friends. I'm not sure why. We were so different. Holly was an outgoing, brunette, white girl, born and raised in the 'ville, and I was, well, at that time I was still trying to adjust with living in Atlanta and being outside of anything remotely familiar to me. It required a lot of quietness and asking, "what does that mean?" like now, I was open to bring friends with just about anyone who seemed genuine and interesting to me.

So anyway Holly and I became friends. We shared random thoughts, inside jokes and great music. We seemed very excepting of each other as we were. No pretenses. She introduced me to the local alternative station and the wonders of Bush (and subsequently leading to my insane crush on Gwen stefani's husband), "meloncholy and the infinite sadness," and Sublime's self titled album, which was essentially my life soundtrack. I was quiet and in awe, Holly was full of life and exuberance.

We tried out for cheerleading together. I honestly think she was a big part of the reason I didn't make it. She tried out for my sake, so I would have moral support. But it was all a joke to her, and I don't think even she herself believed she could be a part of a group whose sole purpose was to be happy and make others happy in the process. And plus she couldn't jump to save her life. And rhythm was not her thing. And while I wanted to belong somewhere, I already belonged with her, so I joked right along with her, and missed my chance to be a Wolverine.

One day, I think it was early spring, our phone rang at about 7am. My mom answered.

"no, she's not here. Sure will. Ok. Ok. Ok. Bye." my mom asked me if I'd seen Holly or if she had called or came by. Of all my friends, Holly was the only one who had never actually been to my house. We talked every day, but I don't think she was the type of character who my mom would get along with. As far as Lauren and "the other Lauren," my other 2 friends at the time, they may have had their pre-teen troubles, but they also had home training. Meanwhile holly's mother didn't even know where her child WAS. Anytime she's brought up today, my mom always iterates the same phrase, "that lil girl had issues."

I came to school devastated that day. I immediately assumed the worst. I asked the Laurens, and Holly's ex boyfriend if they had heard from her. Of course the answer was no, but her ex wanted to be a dick about things. "I hope she got kidnapped."

This set me off. I charged at him, the biggest kid in our class (year older too; we had multi-grade classes), and screamed at him with tears in my eyes. "she could be dead you asshole!!" of course Dad, at the time our math teacher, didn't take too kindly to my language, especially since Holly was strolling down the hallway, completely unaware of all the drama. I never did find out where she was the night before.

After that, things got more interesting, and not in a good way. Hindsight is 20/20, but at the time I didn't know any of what I know now.

Holly died her hair blue. It actually looked cool. The contrast to her wavy brown hair, and the fact that she used jazzing, made it so you could only tell in certain lights. I remember when she showed it off: we were in 8th grade by then, and I hadn't seen her in a week or 2. She came into homeroom and asked to listen to my walkman with me, which was our morning norm. You know, when she was around. As I handed her the disassembled left headphone and held on to the right, my emotions surged. "where have you been?" "oh, I was sick." part of me didn't believe her, but part of me didn't care. I swallowed my thoughts and we laughed along to the morning drive radio shows. She was here now, right?

By "Joy the adult"s standards, she was not there. She would pick conflicts with our homeroom teacher, even going as far as saying, "I'm going to go to the bathroom and kill myself. I've got some pills in my pocket." To which our teacher replied, "well, it was nice knowing you. Thanks for making my job easier by leaving." of course Ms H was just calling her bluff, but I had never heard such an exchange, and I sat there stunned and scared. Our friend Karen was so pissed SHE actually walked out of the room after yelling at Holly that it wasn't a joke to say those things and that we were all crazy. And Holly, of course, did not attempt to kill herself, at least not in a quick and final way, not that day.

Holly never finished 8th grade.
I didn't see her during the last quarter of 8th grade. She didn't participate in our 8th grade graduation, or anyone's for that matter. From time to time I would think about her, wonder where she was, how she was. I have only one picture of her: we and the 2 Laurens at the renaissance festival, looking happy. She spent that day looking for jewelry to steal from the vendors there.

Life went on for me, and I hadn't thought about her much after about 10th grade. One day when sitting with Kesi in his econ class (they had a substitute and I had already long since dropped my 2nd block class), the sub put in a "very important" documentary about the Georgia juvenile detention system. Of course no one was really watching, but something caught my attention when I was looking in the general direction of the tv.

"I'm Holly, I dropped out in 8th grade."

Oh my lord! I asked the sub if I could rewind the tape so I could see if it was really her. She sat with 4 girls, all in juvie uniforms, talking about how they ended up in the detention center. Apparently she had done drugs for a while since I'd known her, and was found on "intent to distribute." she looked the same, maybe a little taller, a little thinner. But in this moment it was like a sort of closure I never known I needed. This girl I had once cared about was on a screen in front of me, talking about how out of control her life was when she knew me, when we were friends. And I had thought we were so kindred.

These days I can't think of 7th grade or my love of music without thinking of her. I can't hear sublime's "what I got" or remember middle school without imagining Holly. I'm still not able to put what she gave me into a cohesive sentence, but I know I'd be a different person if not for her. I wish she could have been a different person because of me.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Since I got called out...

I work til 1130PM. Then I get on a train, then I get in a car, and I usually have to wait for the brothers to get off then we all ride home. I get there at around 130ish... Its ridiculous. This means I miss the original airing of MTB4 and the replay at midnight. And MTV used to help a sista out by playing it again at like 11am, but for some reason they've been playing "that's amore" like they're sure it'll be canceled by next week...

Anyways, I haven't even SEEN mtb this week. No lie. I just had to scroll past Jameil's recaps of it and project runway (with my vision slightly blurred so I wouldn't pick up on any spoilers) and I semi-stopped cuz I saw my name. Stop hating, lol! I can't even get in the living room to watch it because every time I go in there someone's already on the dvr. And I'm not off again until Saturday, so I probably won't watch it til then. And so, no recap this week. I'll maybe touch on this week's episode next week... If I watch it in a timely fashion. I actually had the past few Mondays or Tuesdays off which made things easy, but since Mo quit scheduling has been a bitch. I'm so ready for a new job. I've been putting in applications and transfers left and right, lol. Won't somebody take me in? Lol.

So anyways, that's me in a nutshell. I'm going to spend Sunday (cuz I plan on going to the movies Saturday and seeing semipro) catching up on it, Lost, and ANTM, while simultaneously trying to avoid posts about said shows.

Also, I'm almost done with "angels and demons" by Dan Brown and its all I've really been paying attention to for the past 3 weeks. I'm kinda like damn its taken me 3 weeks to read a book? But then again its 700 pages! Its a good 700, but geez Dan! Use smaller words!!!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Can't somebody...

Just GIVE me money? No, seriously. This is the only option, I've decided. Think about it for a second...

*I'm too shaky to sell drugs. I'm too shaky to have drugs on my person. I remember the ONE time I carried a blunt (my 18th birthday) and I thought about it all day. I was sure that for some reason I'd be searched, even while at school and completely unprovoking. I can't believe I made it through the day, lol. Anyways, plus, I'm not a salesman. I hate to upsell at work. Mostly because I feel the stuff we upsell is not worth anything, lol. I wouldn't know how to be a pusher. What do I do, go door to door? I live in the suburbs. And I don't do drugs, not even a little, so I couldn't very well sell it in good conscience. Much like when I stopped making my mother salami sandwiches because I didn't eat pork and I didn't think it was right for her to either. (that for some reason reminds me of the time in middle school when Lauren made me fried spam. It was so good! No doubt because she made it, but I'd never had spam before or since, so...) so long story short, no pushing weight for the kid.

*I could not POSSIBLY be a stripper. First of all, I have a boyfriend. A serious one. I don't believe a woman with a boyfriend who suddenly wants to be a stripper, really wants to be. Its a cry for attention. Because she wants you to stop her or give her a reason to break up with you. And if she's that hard up for money, what are YOU doing sir? You need to figure out a way to make money so that your lady doesn't have to shake her ass, mk? But besides the fact that I have a man, I also am not that free with my body. Yes I did body art, but the operative word is art. Had not two very talented painters (their work is featured throughout the city) made me up to be a butterfly and an Asian dragon, I surely would not have done it. And no one was throwing money at me and paying $20 a hit to smack my ass (see: blue flame lounge, bankhead). And my appeal is more subtle than taking off my clothes. Especially in Atlanta where they get fully nude. I can't even tell you how inappropriate that is to me, lol. So no stripping.

*i couldn't rob a bank or other money holding establishment. For one thing, I don't like guns. And could you see me trying to rob a place with my pocket knife? Or better yet, kesi's replica sword from "the last samurai?" I can barely lift that thing! And my getaway vehicle isn't very conspicuous: a burgundy new Yorker with the back bumper missing. And a faulty transmission, ensuring a not so speedy getaway, lol. (yeah, riding in style bitches!) besides, I could never place trauma in a person's life. And I don't wanna go to jail. I'm pretty. And people already think I'm a lesbian sometimes... Plus who robs banks anymore?

*What else? Oh yes, the lotto. "you can't win if you don't play." that was the NY lotto slogan when I was little. And its true. And I don't play. I do scratch offs on and around my birthday, and cash 3 might be a good bet if I'm willing to give up snacking in order to buy a ticket every day. And if someone could explain that box/ straight box thing to me. Don't be using terminology when explaining things I don't have the slightest clue about! I'm not gonna tell you, "oh yeah this is a half-double post stitch," knowing good and well you can't even hold a crochet needle! Geez! Anyways, I have never won a lotto prize. I've never won at bingo. As a matter of fact, I've never won a game of chance. I don't consider winning this phone "chance," I chalk it up to my sparkling wit and charm.

*that reminds me, I still want to go on wheel of fortune. I'd kick that show's ass! But they haven't come to Atlanta and I can't be flying to LA for the chance, you know?

So yeah. Somebody needs to just GIVE me money. I need me a sponsor. Or if some kind soul wants to just pass me $5000, no questions asked (except what's your address, and who do I make this out to). Is there a grant I could sign up for? I got 10 uncles and none of them are rich! What are the odds? Come on! I should start writing to philanthropists. I need someone to believe in my promise. Sigh...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

filler material

yo. i have nothing to say. for realls. so, i leave you with this....




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLaL3LsFuig

for some reason its not letting me upload straight on to the page man!!! wackery. so anyways click on the link. best commercial ever!