The night shift.

Yes. Blogger mobile still isn't working. And atop that, I can't log on to MySpace. Who at Tmobile hates me? What have I ever done to you? I can make it better!

Ahem. Sorry.

People lemme tell you bout my best friends... Ok only one of them is a part of the elite Best Friends of Joy club, but I still love the other two. Remember how I said that my job was understaffed? Let me paint the picture for you. In my area, there is only 3 PM shift workers. Me, Mo, and our supervisor. Due to our link with the starbucks our supervisor doesn't need to be there all the time, but there's no way for me and Mo to be off at the same time. There's a pregnant girl who works occasionally, but... Same goes for starbucks, with Walter Lee and Breezy, but now they have a new night guy. Until a few weeks ago, the four of us were the night crew. That's how we got so close.

Mo is a funny, pretty girl. She used to go with my friend in high school, a guy who I worked with until he got fired for hitting me with a broken wiffle bat. It was funny at the time... When we work together the night goes by so quick. The other day, we had to work a 13 hour shift (all 4 of us did) and we kept each other laughing by talking to each other with shark hand puppets. She has a lil daughter who I bedore! (that's right, adore:adorable, bedore: bedorable.) she has the prettiest gray eyes.

Mo and I have a lot in common. Besides the fact that we went to the same high school, spending 8 hours a day with a person affords you a lot of time to talk. We have a lot of the same goals and dreams and seem to have that optimism that can annoy the shit out of people sometimes.

I've spoken about Breezy before. He's my dred headed homie. We also went to the same high school and actually he'd seen me many times before we officially met when I worked in hell- I mean, CVS. He has a girlfriend who I love, despite anything I've said while they were broken up. My mental nickname for him is "stepdaddy" because he loves her daughter as if she was her own. He's a big goof man. I mean, all we do is laugh. I don't think we've had too many serious convos in our time as friends, and its not such a horrible thing because despite that truth I know he's got my back like a friend would.

Walter Lee. For some reason I took to calling him that, after the boy from A Raisin in the Sun. I even have other people calling him that. He has a great love for my hair, as previously mentioned, and one day he said, "you're lucky you're not my girl, with this hair," and I said "I know, cuz if I was I'd be pregnant!" He's got two sons at the age of 19. The most recent was born a few weeks ago and he is so cute! Lee is a good, proud father. Our role as friends is nothing but dirty jokes. He and I spend most of the day rocking each other back and forth verbally. He'll say something, then I'll say oh yeah, then something equally inappropriate, and on til one of us has actual work to do.

These are my night crew buddies, in a nutshell. St least 3 of us, and our significant others, are going on a lil weekend soon and its gonna be so fun. More on that when we get the details settled. The thing about working in a hotel is that you really do have a familial atmosphere, and they're like that for me.

part 3, photos!

from my crazy weekend...

me and jay- i look insane!- and the rest of the club.
thurm and his happy arse.


can you guess who's drunk?

how bout now?

getting ready...

two other party goers.

there are more at my myspace page and im adding more later...

Part 2.

Now, where was I?

So we left the club- did I mention its name? MJQ- and headed to the WAFFLE HOUSE! Now this was the nicest waffle house I'd ever seen. But it was in buckhead, so, well. Apparently the two guys I didn't know, Jay (whose birthday it was also) and a guy they kept calling Dad, always fight when they go to the WH. And it seems to always be foolish too. We weren't hoping for that. Though I did threaten some girl Kesi got up to talk to when I thought he said he used to go with her. Lol that's not what he said and I didn't threaten her to her face. I'm always talking about stabbing a ho; its no longer taken seriously.

As nice as that WH was we took forever to get served. I mean, we were there for like 15 before the table got cleared. Menus? Whatever. I don't even need a menu. I get 1 waffle and an oj every time. But I need a waitress for that, huh? But we stayed cuz we were hungry. I may have yelled at a staff member, but I don't think I did, shoot. I just spoke loudly.

One thing I love about the House is you can be as loud as you want. I mean we were acting a fooly fool in there. I was even talking to some TCHS alumni through the window, like, "I told you she went there! Uh huh girl, what Magnet were you in?"

I got MAYBE 5 hours of sleep.

Kesi called me at 930 and said Thurm would be there at 1030. I considered going back to sleep for a half hour, but then I remembered my hair and got up. It was in dire need of a reconditioning. Dire. I was depressed over how cute it was just 18 hrs before.

Lake Allatoona is a billion years away. We got there at 1 PM. It was so nice and peaceful there. I met Thurm's ex, and I could see why he liked her. Pretty, funny, and a dog lover. She has a Boxer named Sugar, and she was so sweet! Later that day, the ex and I talked about how she was relieved we weren't all giving her the evil eye. I told her that as long as he can ne cordial to her, so can I. We knew what it was like to be from a big family who would all turn their backs on one member's enemy. But I told her that as long as he's cool, I'm cool. I don't know specifically why they broke up, but is it wrong for me to wish they got back together just because I like her?

No boat action. But I went swimming! Whoo! It was so nice! But different than the ocean. Firstly, the sharpest rocks ever. I cut my foot! No nice terrain to stand on, just dangerous rocks. I swam with two girls and a few guys, but none of the birthday guys wanted to get in the water. Boo! The two girls though, lol. One of them was loa-ded. I mean, I have pics. You will see them. She kept trying to give me beer and I told her no less than 12 times I don't drink beer. In her sober state we were cool, like fast friends, but then two hours later I was like you need to sit down. Chill. She was opening beers with her forearm. How do you know you have that talent?

Who won at cards? Me! I continued my graduation winning streak at tonk (is that how you spell it?) and bull sh!+. Aw yeah. They were mad at me, lol.

At some point I called my job to see what time I had to work Sunday. "are you on your way?" no, I'm all the way in Canada right now. "you're supposed to be here, can we expect you?" certainly not. So I left my girl Mo by herself that night. Not intentionally, but I felt so bad! I mean, I was gonna go to the lake regardless, but I would have found someone to cover if I'd known they took one of my off days away. My supervisor was so upset she actually walked out of the store while I was trying to apologize, which pissed me off. I apologize, and you can accept it or don't. If she would have said no, I don't accept, I'da been like cool, but she said nothing to me that entire day, and I refuse to try again.

Back to the fun. You know what I hate? Music snobs. We were grooving to somebody's iPod, and instead of just letting it ride, he hovered and seemed to play songs that he felt would impress us. He was Mr Little-known-fact. At one point this song called "breathe" or something, real trancy song, came on. I was like yeah, this is cool, and he was like, it sucks, its house. I was like no, house has more bass than this. And he was like its "GAP house." well, for one, sometimes its not so amusing to be a critic. And also, I like it and its on your iPod, so... The moment I started to not like him is when he said, "who watches music videos anymore?" I do. I happen to think they're integral to today's music, and I love to buy anthologies. I respect it as an art form. Dude.

We left about 9 PM that night. I wish we coulda camped out or something cool, but we all had lives to get back to. It wasn't even really hot out there. Its nice to get away but I couldn't live in the country. Jay sang a lovely song about needing a bath: "dove, safeguard Irish spring, wash me with whatever you bring!" it was wonderful.

All in all it was so much fun. I took tons of pictures and had some good food and hung out with strangers. It was relaxing and peaceful and I would love to go again. I'll post pix ASAP.

PS: congrats to Thurm's sister,Leah who had her first baby this morning!
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Back to reality.

My fun time weekend is over. Back to work. But here's a recap of my fun, with pix to come later.

Thursday was chill day. Kesi stayed over and we slept as long as possible. He, naturally, didn't wanna leave the hood and so I didn't go get my henna. My search was reduced to my last resort, the Starship, and I don't know if they have them anywhere but Georgia, but its a sex "accessories" shop that also sells swords, "water" pipes, and other things you wouldn't find in walmart. And no henna. The guy behind the counter, who seemed a tad socially awkward to me, kept saying that was a Lil 5 Points thing, to which I replied I'm aware, and the way he said "Lil 5 Points" twice made me think he meant "those weirdos," as if he wasn't working the night shift at a porn shop.

So besides that, Thursday was a chill day, had some Chinese, chilled with mom and tried not to melt. Lately I have become more creative in reference to the weather and what its hotter than: two hells, the devil's butt, sex, etc.

Friday. Let's start the day off with Lauren's arrival. She got to town, took a nap, then came to get me and got stuck in traffic. Naturally. She reached my house at 730, right after Kesi called me and said our friend Thurm was coming to pick us up at 830. What? Firstly, who gets ready for the club at 830? Second, I'm with Lauren and apparently haven't seen her since my birthday, and I'm not compromising our time. Kesi stated I was coming at him with an "energy" and needed to calm down. I later apologized and called Thurm and asked him to explain. He told me the same thing Kesi said, and invited Lauren. She was like, not if ya'll are going to the club at 9! Lol.

We talked and giggled in the car, and apparently I was rude to this fool who didn't catch that I was ignoring his ass in the gas station and had the pure balls to walk up to the car and try to holler. I gave him about 5 seconds of cracked window and told him to have a nice day. Boo!

After the most brief shopping excursion ever, we headed to la's pa's house and chilled. I met Honey, who is so sweet! She's a lil doll puppy. I want a dog! She's a lil bully though! She was nipping at dad's dog, who was like, I'm too old for this. Honey was just glad to have a playmate.

After a while, we decided to leave these 830 talking fools. It was like 1030 and they were at some guy's house getting pre drunk, unbeknownst to us. So we were like, we'll leave and they can meet us. So I text Kesi and tell him we're getting on the road. 20 minutes later I get a call talking about we're in line. Excuse me? When did you even leave? He was like, "you sent me a message talking about yall left..." And how does that communicate to me that you too are on the way to the club? At some point I got annoyed at him and was like whatever.

We eventually get to the club and get drinks. Midori sour for me, long island for La. And uh, I see a family friend in a got damn sweater vest. Now, I known this man since I was 15, and I've always seen him business cas, but it was 80 degrees outside and the club was underground. So it was hot in there. And you got on a vest. Sigh. Jameil, come get him.

We catch up with our party and I ask Kesi what he had to drink. A shot, two mixed drinks, and something else. WHAT? This is when I realized what they were doing pre-club.

The night was fun, even though Lauren left early to get ready for the wedding, and Kesi must learn to control his limbs. He kept hitting me in the head. At one point before Lauren left some song came on and they decided everyone should jump. I stopped cuz my hair, which I had semi-pressed and put in a ponytail (bad idea in the hot ass club) was frizzing, and I knew if someone touched it it'd lose its general order. And Kesi decided to muss my hair as if I could just easily just lay it back down. And now I look like some chick who just walked in off the street. No matter how I tried to explain it to him he didn't understand why I was mad at him. I grabbed his wrists and told him to calm down. He's cheezing at me and I realize he's too intoxicated to reason with. He was like, your hair's already frizzy. So? Why would you do that? It was frizzy, duh, but at least it was laying down. If we were at home I woulda laughed it off but we have never gone to the club together and if he was a stranger he woulda got slapped for that.

So anyway, had to be 110 degrees in that club. The music was great. The DJ was trying to make a political statement but he played himself. He was like, if its a ringtone, you won't hear it tonight! Then he plays mims and party like a rock star. He was all, this is anti BET! Ok, shh. He played some great songs, most from the 90s and even played "let me clear my throat" and I swear I did the Ed Lover dance.

There was a lil side room we decided to check out. I aged 10 years in that room. They were playing straight oldies. Nothing I wanted to dance to. Kesi looked at me and said, "are you bored?" Shrug... And so we went back to the main room. And right in time too! They started playing reggae. Buck buck! I'm suprised Kesi kept up with me, lol. Some dude kept slapping me with his dreds. Ew. I mean, I was sweating and whereever they hit me that area was instantly dry. Kesi wants dreds and they will be properly moistirized if I have anything to do with it. Dude even tried to dance with me. Stop!

The DJ was funny though. At one point he was like, "where my rockstars? We'll find out in a minute!" so he starts playing Party Like A Rock Star. Then he started playing Nirvana. Lol for like 3 seconds half the club was like huh? The rest of us were jumping and wilding out. He also played Lenny Kravitz and White Stripes. You never seen black kids act such a fool. I knocked someone's glasses off. Pushed people. Thurm got hit in the temple by Kesi's errant elbow. Then they played the Eurythmics. We were jamming, and everyone was greasy. I could go back to that club.

I'm gonna split this into two. I'll post on Saturday's craziness, including the after party, lol and our trip to the lake tomorrow.
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one more thing...

can we see now why i wanna have his kids? he was a cutie patootie!!!

Working for the weekend.

"everyone's looking, to see what you will do-o-oo..." I love Zoolander. The part with this song is a part that my brother and cousins have memorized. Lol Anyways I'm gonna fill you in on my week and the coming weekend, which starts right now, as I am typing this while waiting for my train.

I've been at work since Saturday. I requested this coming thurs- sat off, so I knew I'd have a five day week. However, its been very busy and at the start of the week (our week starts on Saturday) my supervisor was being a bit of a biatch. She wouldn't let me leave! Long story short, I made a rude gesture while she was walking away and told her she was pissing me off. I was very anxious that night because I had to walk and meet Kesi and family who went to a concert and I wanted to leave ASAP so I wouldn't have to take the train home. It was already past my out time but she's a control freak and wanted Breezy to remop the floor cuz of one lil spot. To quote him, "she got me f@#*ed up."

So anyway, busy week. Today we had the wackest staff meeting evah. It was split in two groups and was supposed to be a total of 4 hrs which stretched to 5.5. The wackness of it comes with the fact that there's only 9 employees in my store and our only real problem is that we need a bigger staff. But starbucks, which our manager runs and is apart of our retail situation, has like 20 and they're a mess. We spent most of the meeting talking about their problems. Boo! Must admit, my mini-hangover wasn't helping. More on that later. Then I was late for my lunch, and your girl must eat. So I couldn't leave any faster tonight. Usually I like to chill and get a few extra minutes helping people who might not need help, but tonight I rolled out.

Rewind...

Last night I left at maybe 12:15 and headed to Decatur, (say it with me now) where its greater! Lol it was raining and the club was just barely getting packed when we got there. We includes Breezy and Walter Lee, btw. There was actually a line, but it was $2 Tuesday! Just right for a broke chick. $7 gets you entry and a heavy shot o'cuervo. I was at the bar, wearing a burgundy American eagle tank, grey pinstriped linen shorts, and my rainbow heart airwalk VANS knockoffs (I have burgundy sneakers but they're suede), and the bartender carded me twice! In the same order! Gtfoh! Meanwhile, Walter Lee might be illegal. He gets in everywhere with his class of 06 arse. Oh did I mention some high nigga- oh yes, he was a nigga- pulled a strand of my hair?! Its kinda twisty right now, like in my profile pic, and while I'm waiting for my drink, I feel something lightly tugging the top of my head. I look over and he's putting his hand down and smiling. "don't fucking touch my hair." I have some Sampson-esque beliefs about my mane and hate when people touch it unpermitted. I had the scowl for a minute and Breezy thought he was gonna have to pull me off dude so he stayed a protective distance away. Lol its funny how dudes I'm friends with know I'm self-sufficient yet ill-tempered. Can't fight worth a damn but I'll cut you up and down with words.

It was a fun night, one they referred to as "birthday bash 2," but the performers were a tad wack for that to be true. There was one guy I was glad to see, can't think of his name but he sings this song that goes, "I think you're a hater, I think you're a hater, haters everywhere we go..." hot new song. Once Stace is back for more than 2 days I'm sure she'll know it. Everyone in the world has a remix to "white girl!" I hated the song to begin with but now I really hate it after hearing it 8 times. I Think I'm on a remix, lol. I refused to dance to it after a while.

So now I'm off for the next 3 days. Tomorrow I'm on a henna hunt. Maybe headed to lil 5 points if I can convince Kesi to leave the house (he's on "vacation"). Friday Lauren's in town and its me and her! Whooo! Holler! I honestly can't remember the last time I saw her, cuz I know it wasn't my birthday. There was a time after that, right? Anywhoo, that night, we'll be going to a club to celebrate my friend Thurm turning 23. And then Saturday its off to the lake for a day of party boating. Whoo! Some more! Lol. After we get back from that who knows what's up. I gotta squeeze a massage into all this cuz I can't pop it like a wanna with my back in its current state.

Eventually I'll be updating on the 3 work friends I mentioned in Jameil's line of questioning. Its just that other stuff keeps coming up. Lol. Whoo! Party weekend!
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Cock Blockin

Ok, not literally, but its the closest description of what this woman did.

When I'm at work, on break, I crochet. I crochet most times when my hands are free. And I usually get a lot of questions and comments, which can lead to business.

So this one lady who works in laundry comes up and starts a conversation with me. I know she did a scarf for my coworker so any question she asks would be on a professional level. She comments on my stitch size, which is tight, I know, my mother has been telling me this for some years. Then for the next 15 minutes of my break, I have to try to ignore this:

"my single stitch is like your double stitch. Its so tight. " "its probably gonna take you a month to make that. In that time I could make 4." "how much you charge? I charge 150 and make pillow cases." "where do you buy yarn? I buy the real big ones cuz its gonna take you a lot to make a king size." so on and so on.

I guess she felt this was small talk between people who have the same craft, but to me, (and the guy who was acting as my inner voice and mumbling 'who cares?') it seemed like she was trying to play herself up at my expense. I feel like she'd be the type who'd go to my client and say, "oh really, you know I charge less than her."

But on the other side, she was asking me how I switch off colors when I write people's names and stuff. In all honesty, I can't be the first to do it, even though my mom was amazed at how seamless it looked and had never tried it. But I think I'm keeping that to myself, cuz if I tell this woman's trifling self she'll be slightly closer to my level.

What's her prob? Am I thinking to hard about it? I mean, she was really going strong on the fact that she supposedly works faster and cheaper than me. And I refuse to believe a person could do a king sized blanket in one week. You'd have to not do anything else, including eat or sleep, and take that joint to the bathroom when you go. (and I don't want nobody's ishy blanket. Do you?) maybe she was feeling herself cuz I gave her a compliment on the scarf she made a year ago, but boo! Don't come over here criticizing me like you make throws in your sleep. I'm grown. I'm not about to go "wow! That's amazing!"

I do what I do and I keep it moving. There's plenty of room for both of us, but no room for haters.

Had to get that out. And I'm through.
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Shani's questions

1. What is the best thing you ever knitted?

Firstly, I crochet. Its a series of chains connected using one hooked needle. Knitting uses two needles and I have no idea how to do it.

But that's not the point huh? The best thing I ever crocheted was kesi's gigantic blanket. We were together for maybe a year-ish when I started and it took me months to finish. I hadn't made anything in years and decided to go for it cuz I was consistently wanting to show him my domestic side (after grad I made him an m&m cake with an A on top). The patern is pretty simple but very him. And I had to carry it in the heat to the laundrymat to wash it cuz it was too but for our wash, then to his house by bus/train. It was worth the effort though and in the winter we sleep under it and wake up sweating cuz its overly cozy.

Everything I make has love in it. I've only made a few things for loved ones, including the blanket I made for Lauren, but I wouldn't do anything for anyone, free or for money, if it weren't for the love I have for it.

2. If you had one year to live, what would you do?

Travel. I can't die without seeing the world. I always tell people I'm starting with the states, but I've never been farther west than Missouri. Haven't even been to TX yet. I also want to go to Africa, and India maybe, and surely Australia. I wouldn't have to worry about money because if you have a terminal illness (which I assume is the scenario) you can cash in your insurance. Crazy huh? I'd get married and try to get pregnant. I'd want a lil person to remind people of me. Maybe I'd harvest my eggs for future use... I'd have to smoosh all the things I want to do in life into one year.

3. What's the secret to your relationship with Kesi?

We always say that its that we were friends before we were together. But I think its the type of friends we were that makes a difference. We were the type that were kind of friends that had no pretense, no need to impress or lie or exaggerate. Even now we have that kind of friendship. We don't feel that there's a way we have to do things, we just kind of go for it.

I kind of look at us as if we're best friends before anything else. It keeps us from doing the things that people might not feel that guilty about when its just a boy- or girlfriend that they feel they can replace. Even if we weren't romantically involved I couldn't make it if we couldn't joke around or have a serious conversation. It'd be like losing Lauren. A part of my spirit would be broken.

4. How many children do you plan to have, and what would you like them to be when they grow up?

These are really good questions. I never even thought of what I'd want them to be...

I want to have 4 kids. Two boys, two girls. God willing. My plan, because I really do consider such things, is to have them maybe 3 years apart, cuz I don't want to have like a 12 year old and a newborn.

I don't have any thoughts as to what I want them to be, occupationally, but I just want them to be happy and I won't stifle them. I think of the things I wanted to do as a kid and how maybe my mom couldn't afford them or didn't have time... I don't want that to be a factor in their lives. They'll play an instrument, but they can choose which, lol. If they want to take dance, or sports, or stuff like that, its all good. I just want them to be ok kids. Able to express themselves. And if they're a tad weird that's ok because I'd rather they not try to fit in and be something they're not.

5. What is your dream job?
I wanna be a cartoon. Weird huh? Above and beyond all else I'd love to do voices. I think I have a very clear voice, if a tad nasaly. And I can emulate very well, as far as accents, and if you've ever been in the same room as me you know I love to talk.

When I was little I knew that tv wasn't reality. I knew that cartoons were not actual things, but drawings and people behind them. When my mom told me Cree Summer was the one that did the voice of Elmyra, I knew that's what I wanted to do. Even now I look up to Tom Kenny (spongebob, bloo) and Seth Green (robot chicken, Chris Griffith). So if I could do one thing, and be one thing, I'd be a cartoon. Doesn't that explain a lot about my general demeanor?
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Free tattoos: a text in one act.

La: I have to be at work at 6:30.

Me: Uh, why? You work in (that ish Lauren does)! No one's buying (that ish Lauren sells) that early.

La: Inventory. They're also trying to not give me my time off

Me: I hate them. Deeply.

La: me too. Meeeee tooooo.

Me: Lol. I'm thinking of buying a henna kit. Will you let me do one? Btw East Point
Sacred Heart has a guy there in apprenticeship and he's doing free tatts.

La: Yes. And woo! Free tattoos! I want!!

Me: I know, that's why I told you. Everyone's getting tattoos and I want one but I've already decided that's not my path. Hence the henna. This lady today gave us a DIY lesson and a website.

La: get a tattoo! They're cool! Be cool like me!

Me: No peer pressure! I'm too fickle for tattoos. And I want something totally original. This lady had a scripture. Written in heiroglyphics. On her chest.

La: GET IT. You can get something totally joy and something that means something to you. We'll go together! Yay!

Me: No tattoos. There are other reasons. I have no idea where I could get a tattoo that (my mom) would never see, and if I did I'd have nightmares that I'd go to hell over it. Trust. Plus kesi said they're not attractive to him and I told him I wouldn't get one if there was a chance he wouldn't like it. And I have no idea what I want!

La: Lol. DO IT.

Me: Stop peer pressuring me! What if I get a tattoo and hate it and blame you and it ruins our friendship!

La: That would so never happen. DO IT.

Me: I'm kicking and screaming!

La: Um... does that mean yes? Lol

Me: No. Kesi said I shouldn't listen to you because you're an addict.

La: Oh YOU WILL!

Me: I'm gonna get a tattoo that says Lauren made me get a tattoo.

La: Ok I don't like that, lol. I'm gonna think of something so tiny yet cool that you'll have to get it.

Me: No response to the addict?

La: ( you know, I can't remember what she said...)

Me: That's just what an addict would say.

La: I'm kicking you. *kick*

Me: "Lauren kicked me and made me get a tattoo."

La: No! Bah!

Me: I can get it in heiroglyphics!

La: *KICK*

Me: Stop kicking me crazy stinky!

La: Then GET A TATTOO!!! Lol

Me: Never!

La: YOU SHALL!!!!

The end. For now. Lauren will be in town this coming week and she might kidnap my ass and I'll wake up branded. Stay tuned!
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Lauren's questions

Lauren sent me some questions after our arduous yet hilarious convo last night (which will be posted tomorrow...). And here we go!

1. Since I will not allow you to name your children Valencia and Raekwan, what's your second choice and why?

The fact that you hate my name choices makes me love them more. And I'd like to say that I have no control over the boys' names.

That said, you know I love unique names. For the two girls (I'm having 4 kids. Shh Jameil! Watch "runway moms", its such a great show) I am always thinking, and I really have only had 1 new entry in the name race. "Okao." pronounced much like Ohio. (and now I tell Lauren to hush and not call her god-daughter Ohio.) It is Japanese and means "your honorable face," as in the face of royalty. Cute huh? Imagine it with the last name of Mr kesi, and the fact that he and I are so mixed, people wouldn't have a clue as to the race of my child, lol. She'd be all exotic...

2. Would you ever get a perm again?

Nope. At least at this current stage of my life I say no. I've decided that the only thing I wanna do to my hair that's permanent is color it. That's cuz I hate the color. Its just dark brown. Blah. Anyways, people ask me about that and getting dreds, and they're just too irreversable
For me. I'd rather press it or twist it up, then have the option of the fro when I wanna. In the future who knows. I'm fickle, remember?

3. Why are you such a loser and afraid to get a tattoo?

I'm getting a tattoo. "Lauren kicked me many times and made me get a tattoo." in Latin. Across my back.

No seriously, it goes back to the perm thing. Too permanent. You know I love body art, and have no problems with my body as a canvas, but I really have a concern that I'll grow tired of it. So the plan that I have will work for me.

4. Let's say your kid turns out to be as strange and awkward as you were as a preteen/teen. How do you deal?

I'll be a little better at it than my mom and not try to play mind games with the poor child. I honestly think lil Okao will have no choice but to be strange. But she'll have a niche and as long as she's expressing herself and is comfortable in her skin its all good. The question is how will YOU deal?

5. You get to build the ultimate gadget. What would it be able to do?

Hmm... It'd have to do something I need. But its ultimate... It'd make gas. Seriously. Car gasoline. And then I'd be rich, and we could go on awesome road trips. It'd be some sort of alternative fuel, that turned trash into car fuel. I have just solved 3 problems. Pollution, energy crisis, and my brokeness.
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1) when did you know you wanted to marry kesi?

Hmmm... Let's see. Before we dated I'd joke that we'd get married and have pretty-haired kiddies. And in my yearbook he wrote, "hopefully I will marry you one day." but I'd have to say that when I really started to think about it as an option is when he would tell me about his parents' relationship and breakup. Knowing that he was his mom's confidant and that he knows how it feels to see her hurt, I knew he'd never do that to me or any woman. I also knew that marriage was something he took very seriously, and its not a whim for him. Which is part of the reason we're not married yet: the timing has to be perfect. Cuz our union will be the jumping point for our "empire" as he calls it. Can't jump from shaky ground.

2) i know you want kids, but doesn't the idea of having a PERSON growing inside you and eventually beating the crap out of you until it forces its way out of your body freak you out?

Yeah, well, when you put it that way! Child bearing and birth is like, the calling of our family. I figure if just about every woman in my fam can do it so can I. Besides the morning sickness I think I'll be ok. I have a friend who is newly preggers, and funny enough she was one who didn't want to lose her virginity because she was afraid it would hurt. So we'll see how she fares during child birth, then I'll consider freaking out. Besides, pain is temporary! I'll have a perty lil person made from the best parts of me and kesi.

3) if you could have any hair style right now, what would you have?

I would love to do the rihanna jagged bob thing. I love how it curls. I've tried to do spiral curls and it was horrid. Ugh. I ended up looking like farrah fawcet with short hair. I would also like my natural hair to JUST GROW! I think it'd be so much more manageable if I can just get it to shoulder length. Grr! Then I could have it all flowy and it'd have enough weight to lay down.

4) you are known for your mildly outrageous/odd clothing. what's the furthest you've ever pushed that envelope?

Am I really? Yeah I could see that. Let's see: naturally all these occurred in high school. I made a cute lil shirt out of my ex's old little league uniform. I cut and hemmed it and put shoelaces through the sides. Lol but it looked cute! I stole a few costumes from the drama department... One was a loose lil hippie shirt, and one was a gingham dress a la "wizard of Oz." I used to wear the smallest shirts (I mean, some were from the Limited Too) with big skateboard pants that had no choice but to show my drawers. And I had- have- the cutest undies. Then I got into short skirts. I don't know why but all my skirts were way beyond school regulations, and my shorts were gigantic. Lol I definitely had my own style. And even now where I'm more trendy, I still manage to stand out.

These days, I usually pair odd things together and if I'm going somewhere I try to plan it a few days in advance, as with the argyle socks. And as I stated before, I like words on my shirts cuz if someone's gonna stare they may as well have something to read.

5) say you couldn't talk to kesi, lauren or your mom for a week, who's left that you'd feel a bit nutty if you didn't talk to them for a week?

If I couldn't talk to those three I'd be seriously lost. I don't think there'd be a thought in my brain that made any sense. But...

Let's see. I would need someone to laugh with. So I'd need to go to work and see Walter Lee, Breezy, or my girl Mo. If one of them isn't working I am soo bored. Let that happen for a week I and I'm liable to punch out my bitchy supervisor.

Then there's my cousin leese. We went a while without chatting (no real reason) but lately we've been talking a lot. Its nice to have someone who grew up in the same atmosphere as me, who I can talk to. We've been on the same page a lot lately and she's attempting to move down here so I'm very excited!

I'm not so good at thinking up questions but I'll try if you want. and if there are any other questions leave them in the comments. Thanks Jameil!
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TV time.

So I have a few well deserved days off, and I'm spending the day watching soaps and music videos. Its what I do! I'll just ramble on until the video goes off.

Young Berg, "sexy lady."
Who is this kid? His flow is kinda basic and his grill reminds me of those fake teeth you put in as a joke. You know how it makes your lip look funny? Lol.

fantasia, "when I see u."
I can get with this song. Fannie has a funny shaped head. But this is known, huh? Main dude is cute-ish. Did he used to host on BET? Ima buy some false lashes.

Bobby V, "anonymous"
Man, what kind of dude doesn't take the blindfold off? Lol kesi said he's afraid she's ugly. Lol probably. I love his shades! They remind me of the ones I was gonna steal from Will. Lauren has them on in her profile pic. In the shower with clothes on? Really? He's so short. Kesi also pointed out that a timbo song always has a lil breakdown. I'm gonna make a timbaland mixtape. All my fave songs...

Boosie, "Wipe me down"
Ugh. What does that mean? I must say I was jamming to this in the club. Dude in the pink looks like flava flav. Not a good look babes!

Shop boys, "party like a rock star"
That flavor of love chick is in this video. Looking like charli baltimore. Marilyn Manson does not remotely have a tan. My friends Jason and John are in this video. But I never see them! None of these kids look like they listen to rock. Shit, let me quiz them. KISS makeup! Really? Funny. Their other song sounds just like this one.

R Kelly, "flirt"
I hate him! And t pain is in every song on the radio. And does r-uh rhyme anything in this song? You rhyme a word with the same word? BOO! I bet t pain got like 3 kids. Ugly niggas always have kids. Lol. Who finds him cute? He might, MIGHT have a nice body. Money is an aphrodesiac for some.

Ri-ri, "umbrella"
Mary is the only other person I could hear singing this. But I like the way she says umbrella. I'm gonna get eh, eh, eh tattooed on myself. Lol. I would get a perm just for this hair cut. I love bobs in general. No matter, my hair will never be that straight, cuz its not that thick.

Ms Kelly, "like this"
This song makes my booty move. She got them Tina Turner arms. i had a outfit like that silver one for a dance recital. 4th grade. I still have the tassels somewhere around here. Eve got a big forehead too. She has been blonde since day 1. I think she should do jet black.

(side note: I have 7 music video channels I'm flipping through. Why on BET is there a cowgirl movie staring Stacey Dash, Lil Kim, and someone named Monica Calhoun? Oh wait, Mario van Peebles! Is that Da brat? Wait no, its Lisa Ray in a doo rag. I am starting to see the resemblance. Foolery.)

DJ khaled and a buncha folk, "we takin over"
Damn, did ya'll see akon throw that kid? Shame. Did Rick Ross really say "biggie of my city"? Stop! My homeboy got mistaken for Fat Joe the other day. He's not near that big. I think he looks more like khaled. "I love brain, I need a leech," foolish! Lil Wayne really does look like sonic the hedgehog. I think he knows and doesn't care.

Fabolous, "u make me betta"
Somebody tell neyo to stop poking out his lip. It makes his nose look that much flatter. I like this song. Who is this chick? I've seen her in a movie or something. She looks like Nicole from PCD, but I know that's not her. Ray J? Barf. Cameo having ass. Rosalyn Sanches! Her name popped up on fab's phone. She's pretty.

Mika, "love today"
Can't believe this is the first non r&b video. White pants? Stop that. I live his curls. De day de da de do, lol. This song is catchy.

UGK and outkast, "international players anthem"
Scuse me, who isn't in this video? Youda thought dre really got married. Who made t pain the choir director? I love this song. Pimp C got on my grandma's hat! Brian barber needs Jesus. With that hair... And the shades. Pimp c- "I'll stand outside the church but I aint going in." lol. Damn fonsworth and the white pants! I'd whoop their asses fucking up my cake!

TI, "big things poppin"
After the shirtless pushups, I have no rememberance of anything else that happened in this video. My mind went blank. 2 TI's? Drool....

Ok, now I'm hungry. And I think I'll watch the end of this foolish ass cowgirl movie...
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I'm grown!

People like to poke me.

Not in a sexual way, oh no. More like, say, you poke a ticklish child, or a fat kid. In the stomach, or more likely, my ribs, because one coworker I have thinks my stomach is really long maybe, and consistently pokes me above-elbow on my side, which is surely my ribs and awfully close to my breast.

I've taken to yelling out, "I'm grown!" and then asking them why they are touching me as if I am 5. For instance, my buddy, who I call Walter Lee, was stroking my hair. I'd just washed it and it was extra wavy. He's all, "ooh your hair is so soft, it smells like white girls' hair." I assume this is because I use suave strawberry shampoo? Anyway, "I'm grown Walter Lee, why are you caressing my hair?" But I can't get too mad at him because he's my friend and I really like when people play in my hair. It was just so out of the blue.

What I don't like is people presuming I'm not as old as I am. Someone I work with asked me what high school I go too. What?! Stop the madness! I'm in my mid-20s! I'm grown! And we been working together for years! Why do you think I'm class of 07?

Yes, I think I have a "baby face." I have big, high cheeks, and I don't wear make up. Sometimes I go a minute without arching my brows, and as breezy says, "that uniform does you no justice." but damn, I'm grown! I tell people I've lived in Atlanta for 12 years and they ask if I was too young to remember CT. Stop it! And sometimes my opinion is dismissed because I'm "young." Shit, I'm not naïve. Try me.

The name doesn't help, I'm sure. Joy. Its innocent and happy. Its no Veronica or Louise or Teresa. No sexy in my name. No adult or poised in my name. People see my name and think "aw!"

I wouldn't change my looks for anything. I feel like once I get 50 or so maybe I'll look 30? That's a nice thought. My dad doesn't look 46. Maybe that's why his girlfriend is younger than me, but I digress. Right now, I continue to yell.

I'M GROWN!!!
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Ups and downs

Geez.

I am supposed to go to CT in a few weeks for my cousins' grads. I haven't done my reservations yet, cuz I have NO EXTRA MONEY! Grr. I was pretty sullen yesterday when I realized that its not looking good for my travel plans. My Florida trip is a no go, cuz my friend postponed his wedding "for at least a year." boo! Keep effin with me and I'm gonna walk to Alabama just so I can leave the state.

Also, on a good note, I found out I'm Angolan. For those keeping count, I'm also Cape Verdean. Stace said I look Angolan. I googled, and I'd have to say I agree. It was funny looking at pix and thinking that this person looks like my uncle or this and that cousin. I also wiki'd and found out a lot of info. I'm Learning! Its funny, I really don't care about geography until it involves me. I feel pretty lucky to know where my people come from, where as most Americans of any race don't know.

My uncle wants me to make a blanket for my grand daddy. He said my grandma would really like the stuff I did. I think I might name my site after her. (You know, my website that was supposed to be done in January...) I saw my grand daddy last year and he was sitting in his car, just sitting there. I think it would be really cool to give him something that reminds him of Ms Lula Mae.

Speaking of single grandparents, I asked my mom if my grandma dated after my granddad died. She said yeah but nothing serious. My granddad was the love of her life, and I really think, had he not died, they would have had more kids. I wonder how often my mema thinks of him. Whenever I think of kesi I always imagine a long life for us, and I know my grandma is pretty strong to raise 4 kids (the others were adults by then) without their dads, who as I understand it was a good man.

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