Can't take it for granted.

Its that time again.

One week from now is my anniversary!!! Wooo! So I'm just a big ball of mushitude. I keep looking at him and grinning or walking over and kissing or hugging him. When he's asleep I stare off at him and wonder what he's dreaming (speaking of, I'm thinking of blogging about the weirdest dream I've ever). This is usual but its more intense lately.

Its been 7 years. I met him 10 years ago April. We've been friends for so long. That's so much more important than anything because if we can't talk then what will we have? Anyways 7 years! I remember the day and the time. It was early evening and I almost stepped into traffic after kissing him at the crosswalk. But I swear I've told this story before.

"Did you think when we first started dating we'd still be together?" this is what he asked me last night. Of course I didn't. Not saying that he didn't seem like the type to go for the long run, its just that I hadn't even thought of summer vacation with him. Let alone 2009! We took things day by day, and still do. Of course we think about marriage and children and being old and toothless together, but as far as solid parameters go, we're just taking life as it comes. But he knows my ring size is 6, lol.

I hope that the people who I care about can have the love that I have with him. I never take it for granted. I see how people go through drama or get used or have been hurt and make it their mission to hurt others. And these things have happened to us and so we know how it feels. So we don't do it to each other. And I know that for myself, I thank God in quiet moments for what we have.


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Big plans

The best month ever is only a week away! Get with it!

I finally have some ideas about my birthday. I have a solid date- the 7th, and I'm almost good on a location. I just have to find somewhere that is either 18+ that sells alcohol, or somewhere that's lax on the rules, lol. I have a few friends, including my brother and my friend's girlfriend, that aren't yet legal, though they look it. And of course the ones I have the most fun with are youngins. Its also tons of coworkers' birthdays this month too, so its party time! Lol it'll probably be a lot of them's first time meeting Kesi. He's always at work when something's happening. These days you can't be taking time off all willy nilly. Especially after he got injured a few weeks ago.

Anyways, birthday. Its on! Anniversary, equally on. We'll start the day with clean teeth (it was the day the lady gave me and I knew we'd both be off), then we'll take a lil down time and eat, then off to kesi's anniversary gift, which I finished planning yesterday. I can't say what it is but I know he'll love it. I'm trying not to talk about it because its not too complicated and I think if I use certain words he'll figure it out. Then more food, then Kooza! That's the Cirque du Soleil show playing at atl station. He's supposed to be getting those tix. Hopefully we'll be able to go, because we all know I love the circus and soleil is the joint! I'm so ready. We'll be all tuckered out that night from all the fun.

Then, oh yes then, in March: camping! We're finally going back to Cumberland island, my favorite piece of land God ever created. Its a nature reserve owned by the Carnegie estate. JFK Jr got married there. Foolish. We're camping on the beach, so I need to get a tent. I need to make a list of stuff we need to get. Lantern, some kinda gas stove... I think. We're going with our friend Thurm; it was his idea and we're headed out on his spring break. I'm so ready! Kesi's brother H decided he's not going because "we're black!" and you can't take guns on a nature reserve. He's on some Camp Crystal Lake, stabbed in the bushes type stuff. Womp.

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The best day

I had the best day yesterday.

I woke up at 645am, which usually is no good for me, but I had an early call for a VIP banquet lunch. VIP=MONEY. Nothing could keep me in bed, not even the thought of watching Barack be sworn in from the warmth of my room, or the 24 degree temps outside. I can record it.

I actually left the house early, which was good because I had to turn around and grab my uniform for Starbucks, lol. But I was still ahead of schedule. I get to the station near my job and there's a lady passing out coupons for free chicken biscuits at chik-fil-a! What?! So I grab one and think that I'll use it later this week. There's probably a line. I get up the escalator and.... There's no line! Yes! *does the chicken biscuit dance*

I'm still early and I change my clothes at leisure. Eat my biscuit at leisure. Go get my banquet shirt.... At leisure.

Then I found out I was with my fave banquets capn. I like the way he does set up. I was on forks, but someone in my group didn't know that you get 2 to a place, not 1. Boo. Oh, the reason why this set up was good is because there were 2 flat screen TVs in the room playing good morning America and the anauguration! (is it just me or is that a hard word to spell?) so I was placing forks and then butters and watching the commentary and the proceedings and loving it!

The lunch was at 1130 and the swearing in was ~noon. So we watched the marching in of the formers and families and then expected the guests to come in.... Nothing. Maybe 10, 15 of a 450 seat lunch. And instead of eating, they stood at the screens and watched! All well and good but they had to be done by 1 so I could get to my 2nd shift. Then I realized my tables weren't near the TVs, so I'd have less work to do. Score!

People were silent until Barack got sworn in. Then they all clapped. By this time the room was half full and everyone there was eating in silence. They listened to the prayers, the speeches, the quartets, Aretha Franklin and her hat. Who knows how these people voted but they watched and listened and felt good. When the talking finally did start, it was all good stuff. One guy said to his friend as I was pouring coffee, "we got us a smart one here!" and I wanted to say, "amen!" but I didn't wanna be all in their biz so I kept smiling and thanked them.

The lunch was over before I knew it. I was cut at 130 and had a lil time to relax so I got on the net. All the facebook statuses were great, sweet, hopeful, funny, about our future, about fashion, about how cold it was in DC... Except 1.

"glad someone's spending my money. $140m for something Bush only needed $40m to do?" this was Huffy. Remember her? She used to work with her and she got that name because of her lovehandles. She's also the one who gave me a *look* when I said I wasn't voting for Obama just because he's black. That "yeah right, why would anyone vote dem unless race or gender were involved?" look. Remember, I said before I have a republican friend. Just the one, that I know of. She's never insulted me because we had a difference of opinion. But Huffy has, many times. The only reason we were still friends on fb is because I wanted her to see my left leaning yet inteligent statuses from time to time. Anyway, she had responses.

"you'll never hear the media report that, huh? They just love him." first of all, dude, where do you think she got that info from? Second, stfu.

So I couldn't not respond. "more people came to this one than either of Bush's." I wanted to say combined, I wanted to say a lot, but I left it there. I pride myself in the subtext jabs. I wondered how I'd be taken since most of her people are republicans too. The funny thing is, though, once I comment on someone's status, I get every subsequent comment sent to my phone. And they weren't what I expected.

"Each inauguration is alotted 50 mill, the rest was donated, not from taxpayers or the governement....there was also A LOT more people."

"well, we do live in a free country, Thank you USA, i was just stating facts....do as you please huffy"

"I am glad other people said something...your comment Huffy was ingnorant, and offensive. Obama is our president, be GRATEFUL!!!!!!"

That last one had me on some "oh snap!" ish. She deleted it too. Yo these are her friends! But now I felt vindicated. It wasn't just me whose skin she was getting under. Time to get on the change train huff.

So anyway I went to my second shift, Starbucks, and it was such a nice lil day. Not too busy, not too slow. Got nice tips. I go home and watch spaceballs with Kesi (he wanted to, but that movie is silly/fun). Head to bed with achy legs and a happy heart. Obama is officially president. I kept my Barack the Vote shirt on to sleep in.

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Imagine me

Sprawled out on my bed, staring at the ceiling, bored. That's my mental state. Physically, I am, of course, crocheting. I'm making 2 baby blankets, one for my high school friend, and one for a chick who Kesi used to work with (a child to whom I'll be a godmother. How freaked am I! Yay!).

I had other plans this weekend. I was supposed to be going to an artist showcase Friday night but it got canceled. And on Saturday I was supposed to hang with my friend whose birthday it was but he got arrested. This is the ONLY close friend I have whose been arrested (that I know of). My friends don't get arrested. It was a bad charge, btw. He went to pay a fine and they put him in. For like no reason. Except to ruin his birthday, I suppose.

So I've been around the house chilling, finishing projects. I had 5 days off starting Thursday. So far I've spent 3 in the house! Someone rescue me! Big Love comes back tonight. Yeah buddy! And flight of the conchords. They are so funny! Oh TV how you comfort me.



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i get it from my mama!

yeah these are a tad old but i wanted to share. arent they nice? she pretty much sticks to baby blankets but she's bad a--. i wont curse cuz she doesnt like that.

Diet blues.

4 weeks and a day til my birthday. When will the cravings stop Jesus? I really want a bag of SCO Lays. And a sprite. But I haven't had either and that's good. And I know that eating it is not gonna feel as good as not eating it feels to my mind. Knowing that I could go 6 weeks without potatoes if I wanted. I had twizzlers but they're a 'low fat snack' and they don't fill you up at all. They just give you something to chew for 5 minutes. Sigh. And I've been eating granola bars from Starbucks. They're low fat and have nuts and fruit. Breezy said "you know you don't wanna eat that," but they're actually good. So there, booger.

On the down side, I haven't lost any weight. I'm at 139. 1lb I've lost. I've been smoothie-ing and salad-ing and I get 1lb? Bah. I need to exercize, I'm sure, but I hurt my back last week trampolining. Like right at year base of my back. I hear I should have stretched first but I was so gung ho that I just went to it. I've learned my lesson so don't lecture me, ok?

I just need encouragement, so do that. I'm looking forward to my birthday. I'll be 25! Woo! Still clueless as to what I'm gonna do on my birthday, maybe I'll do sumn on Valentine's. Shoot, most of my friends are single anyway. And who cares about that holiday? Its for teens and lil kids. Yeah I said it! Think about it: if you're in a relationship what does it matter if on Feb 14 he gives you candy and flowers? What is he doing on March 28, or October 6? Kesi shows that he loves me even when he's asleep, when he pulls me toward him like I'm his security blanket, lol. Or when he's awake and he pinches my cheeks until I smile, just so he can tell me they're the biggest he's seen. No candy can say more than that. If you only get it on "special" occasions, then I'm sorry for you. And I think you should come to my party because your boyfriend sucks.



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*scream*

Ahhh!

There was this cartoon back when I was a preteen called "freakazoid" and one episode had this thing called "scream-o-vision" where in they tell you when to scream. This monotone voice comes up and says "scream" and everyone goes "ahhh!"

I'm hearing that guy in my head. All day. My job makes me wanna scream. I mean the building is nice, the guests are cool, the work is not taxing, but then you have "management." should be called "catalyst for your mental break."

Thursday. I come in at 1230 to do my advanced service training. Usually I don't have to be there til 3, but my district manager is a daytime kinda guy and he's usuallly headed home at 3. So I get there at 1230 and who's sitting with the DM? Breezy. Who's been there since 10, and should be long done with his training. By the way I finished my training workbook months ago. Literally. So the DM says, "breezy and I are running late, we should be done around 2." so I could have been still at home, catching a few minutes of my soaps? Yeah? Ok.

The rest of the day went somewhat smoothly. I finished about half of my certifications- this is the first step to becoming a supervisor- and DM said he'd be back Friday at 3 to resume and wrap things up. We'd had a convo about being in uniform for the training because I was actively working in a different dept that first day so I wasn't in Starbucks gear. So Friday I wore my uniform. He didn't show up because "something came up." cool. But no one bothered to TELL ME! Sigh. Wtf. My supervisor left and I had to call him at home to find out if the manager was even coming. What is wrong with you people? I am a stickler for notes and messages so it really bugs me when I can't get the same consideration. And I had no one to lash out on cuz el supervisor was at home!

So I'm here, today, in uniform, and if he's not here? I'm quiting. Ok, I won't quit, but I may scream.
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Clarification

My brother is being deployed on Sunday. To Iraq. He told me the specific city but I can't remember. Its for 6 months. I'm not sure what he'll be doing there, but I did ask. We were online and he didn't respond. Anyways I am trying not to feel anything about it, as weird as that sounds. Its possible for him to come back and be a functional member of this society, rather than the many other alternatives. Its only 6 months. He'll be back in time for our bus trip to CT, possibly. More on that later. I wonder if my dad even knows he's in the marines yet. My aunt saw him a couple of weeks ago and he looks horrible. Skinny. I don't know if you know my dad, lol, but he used to weigh the same as Kesi. Kesi is about 6 inches taller than him so 170lbs looks different on a shorter guy. Certainly not considered skinny. Anyways, so yeah, Iraq. And I'll be praying. Hard.

Kesi was in the dish pit at work and cut his hand on a knife. That's the simple version of the story and I dare not tell you the complicated version for litigous reasons. He's fine, but he can't wash his hair or drive and talk on the phone at the same time. Lol he has 4 stitches and has to go back to the doc today to check for an infection. And he has high blood pressure. I told him its because he eats 3 burgers at a time. And when I was eating that apple he told me he'd never bitten one before. He's so anti fruit. Gotta change that.

I'm on a "get right for my birthday" diet. No fries, no potatoes in general, no junk food. And what does my coworker, in all her sweetness, do? Homemade cookies. Chocolate chip. Some with nuts. I had a small one. I couldn't not. But then I ate an apple. See there? Lol. My birthday is exactly 6 weeks from new years day, and so I decided then to get right. I have to lose 10 more lbs. Shoot if Ruby can lose 100, I can lose 10 (does anyone else watch that show? Its awesome!

My homie Walter Lee said something about having a party at a club and going half on it with me- depends on the cost really- and so this is an option but he's gotta tell me before I decide to have one closer to my actual birthday. But the Saturday after my birthday is valentines day. Where I don't do Valentine's day some people do, and might wanna be with their boos or some ish. Then I thought I could have it on my birthday, a Thursday. Hmm. I would just do a dinner, like last year, so I'm still up in the air. What I do know is I better not have late friends like last year. Literally everyone was an hour late. When they got there it was fun but come on! A whole hour! I'll cut a heffa.

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Yeah....

I'm being really half assed. I just wanted you to know. I'm off tomorrow, but until then...

1 my brother is being deployed Sunday.
2 Kesi cut his hand at work and has 4 stitches.
3 I'm on an anti-potato diet and have to go to the doctors Wednesday.
4 my birthday is coming and I may have a joint party a week after mine, or a valentine thingie, or nothing?

We'll talk more tomorrow.
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arent those about the most charming girls you ever saw? dont let em hurt you now! lol. i had a really good time and we should definitely do it again. jameil made some chicken sausage jambalaya type stuff (sorry im not good with remembering and thats what it reminded me of) and the infamous raspberry lemonade which adei didnt like much since shes a sweet hater, but i loved it and it tasted great with bacardi. btw thats me, jameil, adei and toni, on rashan's couch. we spent the evening dancing and singing old school songs, and someone would say "i was 8 when that somg came out!" and rashan would say. "i was in college..." ha!

and check ya girl out! i laced them up the other night and decided to take a few pix since my bro is supposed to throw a design on the side. a before and after if you will. also note the bin of yarn behind my right foot. your girl works hard!

Horray!

The holidays are over! Lol. I had a nice season, don't get me wrong. Lovely gifts and moments with old and new friends, but now its my time. Anniversary, birthday, maybe a trip to CT thrown in there, yes!

I'm now, of course, headed to work. I could feel the tinge of jealousy in the people I worked with last night, when they saw that I would not be staying until 1am with the rest of them, but instead rolling out at 10PM, because I don't do new years at work. This will be my 6th new years working at my job and I have been at kesi's at the strike of midnight. The main difference with this year is that there was no music, no alcohol (at least not for me), just us chilling and watching TV. It really could have been any other night. At midnight we did kiss though, and eventually we laid on the tiny love seat and pretended to nap. At one point I openned my eyes and Kesi was just staring around the room. Why are we crunched up on this tight couch if we're not sleepy? Because we love each other, that's why.

I'm optimistic about this year, as I am about every year. I am just going to live it and see what happens. It can only be better than 08, seeing that everyone in my house has a full time job, lol.

Ps, I went to Rashan's Tuesday and had a blast. I wanted to write about it when I had the pix- maybe tonight?- I was comfy with people who knew each other better than I knew them (technically, they all had blogs, but they had all actually hung out at length for years and had intimate relationships). And Jameil can cook so that was a good thing too.



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