Why me?!

That title is a direct representation of my current state, but its only temporary... My MP3 player erased. 2500 songs. Gone. Why? Who knows? It was working fine last night and then today I charged it and turned it on and got a lot of "list empty." bitch! Luckily *some* of the songs are still on the computer. But its gonna take forever! Then I gotta find my fiona apple cds because Kesi asked me to erase the music he doesn't listen to to save room on his hard drive (this was before everyone else had an MP3 player). So much drama! Why?!?! And now I'm listening to the radio to drown out the sounds of public transport.

Anyways, enough with the pity. How was your Christmas? Mine was great! Yes I worked but shoot, I got a job, meanwhile they're firing (or laying off, whatever) people right before Christmas, including our food and bev manager and people whose jobs we're not really sure of. I mean, one chick had a panic attack and had to be hospitalized. So I'm gooood. Plus, la is here! Yay! She came over on Wednesday and we exchanged gifts. I'll let her tell you what I got her if she likes. She brought me souvenirs from her last trip, some gift cards, and she framed a poem I wrote about her a few years ago. I literally cried. Lol. Ridiculous. So between crying and reliving my childhood I'd say Kesi and la did a good job.

Last night we went to ihop and ate and talked. I only really mention this because we ate good, and when the club let out, OMG this lady came in in a burgundy body suit that hugged her curves and dimples. She was not lookin smooth at all. Not none of smooth. We so wanted to get a pic but damnit we weren't quick enough. I felt like she was naked and painted purple. And then you come to Eating Good Headquarters? And she had a date. Stop. If Kesi let me out the house like that I'd doubt his love for me.

So apparently everyone is in Atlanta. Hopefully we'll get to see them. Because everyone also lives in the boondocks, lol.

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Skate town.

I believe that I've mentioned before that Christmas of 2001 was spent at a skating rink trying to meet ludacris. The "luda-Christmas skate jam," it was called. Ah, those were the days. I kinda glossed over the fact that a roller rink was a good place to spend one of my favorite christmases. I'm a pretty good skater. Can't get the hang of the backwards thing, but one day ima get it.

When I was about 5, my mom got me the fisher-price 123 skates as a present. You know, the ones that connect to your shoes and grow with you. I loved those things. But being little, and living in a dangerous neighborhood, I could only skate in the hall that led out to the porch, the porch, and the front "yard," which was more akin to 2 patches of dirt separated by a staircase to the sidewalk. But I had the time of my life! I actually would skate inside, on the halls that led to the other apartments, until the neighbors (one of whom was my uncle's baby mama) poked their heads out angrily.

One day I decided to see how durable the skates were and drop them off the 3rd floor balcony. The right one broke and my mom tried to superglue it back together... That was the end of that fun.

When I was 8, living in a 2 story house with a more play-friendly neighborhood (one my grandmother still lives in), someone gave me some vintage Mickey Mouse skates. I think it was my aunt Stacey, who is 13 years older than me so I got a lot of her hand me downs. My friends and I rode around the hood on our respective wheels- sometimes I would wear skates on my bike and have a "10 wheeler"- playing tag or doing "stunts." I really miss that time, riding around my brother's school yard, racing and wearing neon bike shorts that I would not be caught dead in these days. But alas, my feet grew, and the skates were handed down, albeit very sadly, to my cousin Shanae.

This year, I had NO EARTHLY IDEA what Kesi was getting me for Christmas. We decided to open our gifts early, cuz that's how we do it, lol. We make our own rules! So Monday night, I was surprised to see a pretty, large, gift wrapped box in the back seat of the car. We get to the house and I take my time opening it- it really was wrapped nicely. And what was it? Roller skates! Apparently I've mentioned them a lot this year. Yay! I immediately put them on and started shimmying back and forth in the kitchen, to my mom's enjoyment. I believe her response was, "oh lord." I love them so! They're all white, so I'm gonna get my brother, master artist he is, to put some graffiti on the side. I'm so headed to skate town! Maybe. If there's not a million kids there the day I wanna go... But these bad boys will definitely be put to use this year!

*btw I got Kesi a custom designed shirt and "the 48 laws of power." he loves and looks great in his shirt, and hasn't put the book down yet. Success!*
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Hard working weekend

"do you have anything already made?"

I hadn't had time, until this very week, to crochet with lesiure. So when my friend asked me, of course my answer was no. But as things go, my mom had just got these huge needles from the "good" walmart. They're designed to make your projects take less time. The result is the attached picture. 5 scarfs, 2 hours each (as a comparison, a normal scarf would take me 4 hours), and an easy profit! And my friend doesn't seem like a jerk with his last minute gifts. Its a win win! Lol. And as an added bonus, it stirred up some orders from other friends. *does happy dance*
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Something's up

With me, I mean. I'm usually a tad more grinchy this time of year. I have to work Christmas eve and day and I'm a tad broke. My heater's broke and my friend's being a tad slow fixing it. My mortgage company seems to have issues with their fax machine and their phones, because we faxed them this paperwork MONTHS AGO and yet they didn't tell us they didn't get it until about last week, when my mom called me at work totally pissed off. But yet, I'm cool! Is it delerium? Did I spell that right? Meh.

Anyway the hotel's Christmas party was Sunday. I had so much fun, shook my ass without abandon (what does that mean?), ate some great salmon, put my butt on my manager (we all did at one time, but I was sure to stop before he really liked it because he is kinda weird sexually... I think he is afraid to admit he does things everyone else does), and watched old people dance, which is heeelarious. And I took video! Lol.

What did I wear, you ask? Forest green, knee length, (deep) v neck dress with kinda capped sleeves and silver shoes and accessories. And I looked cute! This is what I heard, and not just my own opinion. Also I heard that my boobs were something serious, which I hadn't noticed until I saw my pix, which I will not be posting here because people make inappropriate comments. But I was fly. And you'll have to take my word for it unless we're fb friends.

Its almost Christmas! Which means its almost new year! Yeah baby!

I won't be going to DC as I had wanted because the hotel wants the room money by Friday and I don't have it. Not $700! How crazy! They want people's room payments a week before Christmas in a recession? If I do by some chance end up going I'll be staying at a friend's. But I'm ok, I can watch Barack on TV and be just as excited with money in my pockets.
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TGIF

I finished my Christmas shopping. Lol. I laugh because it always sounds like an ordeal when I say it like that. When anyone does. Giving should not be a chore. Which is why I only give to 2 people. Actually this year I may add a person. Just because I wanna. This girl I work with, silly character that she is, wants an eskimo for Christmas. A real eskimo. She says that Atlanta is the biggest human trafficker in America, due to having the biggest airport, and surely someone can get her an eskimo. So I decided to make her one, rather than spend money, time, and morals on a real one.

I haven't made a Christmas list because I have no real idea what I want. I haven't been to the mall in ages. I know I want some boots like I used to have when I was 5, except not pink. They were furry on the inside and kinda like uggs but not all ugly. Lol. Plus the people that are buying for me already have an idea of what to get me. I haven't heard any complaints from Kesi so I assume even he has an idea.

I got my moveon.org obama sticker! It looks very similar to a crazy propaganda poster, but I'm sure they knew that before they sent it out. I'm going to put it on my pattern notebook.

I'm on the bus and all of a sudden this guy is cursing out the bus driver, pointing in her face and talking about how he'll "fuck her up." he got off the bus and he was still fussing. What is wrong with men these days? This man told me not to speak the other day. I tell you I never got into an arguement with a guest before that day. I really let him get to me. Ugh! I'm still kind of angry about it. But I took a class on "service excellence" yesterday and I see how I could have handled it better. Meh, bygones.

Our Christmas party is Sunday! I decided to step away from my usual red/black (because I couldn't find anything that color that was cute when I was half-looking) and I'm wearing a flowy green number. Kesi's not going but its ok. He has to work. Shoot I may still work sunday and go to the party (down stairs from the store) at 8. We're closing early for the rest of the year, which leaves me with 19 hours this coming week. 19! Do yall realize that's not even full time? Wack! Ugh! And I can't pick up any banquets because its days that I'm already working. Boy. When I say as SOON as I see my w2 that joint will be filed?! At least I'll have time to crochet.

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a few announcements

firstly, my youngest brother turned 20 saturday. we saw cadillac records, which was great. i admit i had low expectations, but it was a well done movie. anyway here's a pic of us at a party we went to a few weeks ago. its weird that we ahare friends and go to parties together when there was a time i couldnt get rid of his behind. i know im making a weird face but, yeah.

this is a video i took when kesi and i were out for his birthday fun. lmao!


lastly, i have a few new things up at my crochet site. check em out

Feelin better.

I'm doing ok guys. My post yesterday was totally stream of consciousness... Just getting my thoughts out. Its ruef because I didn't say anything to the people around me about it, I just wrote it down. So I'll be fine. I'm just worried about my mom and my aunt and god-siblings....

People have been saying weird things to me lately. Not insulting or mean things, or necessarily wonderful, just... Weird.

Thursday I see my friend Jason on Marta. We say hi and I tell him its been a while since I've seen him, because he's usually at kesi's house every other day (he's kesi's bro's childhood friend). We spend the rest of the train ride not talking because neither of us really had anything to say (this is something I hate about seeing someone on a train; usually if you see them in passing that's just enough time to say hi, call me, yada yada, but now you gotta make small talk for like 20 minutes and usually when I'm on the train I'm in a music zone). So anyway his stop comes, and we say goodbyes and as he's getting off he says, "hey, you want a puppet?" what? "a puppet. Ima bring it by the house." why Jason? Why would I need a puppet? Why would you suppose I'd be the perfect recipient to this puppet you have at the house? What made you just think of that? I'm so lost.

So I get to work and I'm going through the lobby to clock in, and the concierge is standing in the middle of the lobby trying to direct SEC traffic (we're the Florida hotel) and she sees me and says, "I have a ring for you. Its made of wood." no. Seriously. What? Just weird I tell you. Maybe I just look like an exventric with a house full of things with insane stories. "see this ring? Its made of wood! And this puppet was offered to me on the subway. And I took it!" its like an in person version of that answering machine thing Jameil was doing.

Then today Kesi and I have this text convo:

Me: gotta get that cheese!
Him: like Monterey jack from rescue rangers.
Me: ooh, can I be the chick?
Him: I guess i think she was gay though.
Me: are you sure? Maybe she was just tough. And she and monterey did spend a lot of time alone on that plane.
Him: But she was hollerin at zipper and we all know zipper was a cross-dresser.
Me: what??? Wasn't zipper the fly?
Him: yeah. That's why chip and dale used to abuse him.
Me: I don't think we watched the same show.
Him: Sure we did. Ch ch ch chip and dale rescue rangers! Yea i saw all this an E! True Hollywood episode. And went back to watch the show... It's so obvious.

Is it now?
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James

Facebook is a crazy tool.

So I'm riding with B to the train station and reading my mobile status updates, when I see "Janeice is sad. Rest in peace daddy." now, janeice is my brother's godsister (its a strange thing, my brother and I have different God parents), the daughter of my mother's best friend. So her dad... I knew him. He was one who had a hand in raising me.

My aunt Linda, boy, she's a saint. She adopted 3 kids and raised many others, me included. She has run a daycare for at least 20 years. Taken care of me, my brother, and many of my cousins, even to this day. I say this to say that I spent a lot of time at her house. Neicey and I are a month apart.

I never knew uncle James had a drug problem. I was too young to get that. All I knew was that he could cook. he said "commode" instead of toilet. He had a brother with a wife named Linda too. He always had a smile unless we were in trouble. He, like my dad, had dirty hands from work. He fixed up the basement so we could play. He bought the kids a little dog, a Yorkie I think. His hair was a loose curl that looked really pretty even though it was longer than you'd expect. He let us eat in the livingroom. He could sing. I specifically remember him singing that one song that goes,"take to the skies on a natural high, loving you more til the day I die." I can't remember its name. He loved dominoes pizza. He helped us when we kicked the ball over the fence he built. He showed us garter snakes.

He was a nice man. He died today on the tables during pacemaker surgery. I haven't seen him in years.

I'm sure my mother has spent hours on the phone with her best friend, consoling her as best she can from thousands of miles away. Sigh. I hate this.
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Last night

Its nice to just be.

Kesi and I stayed up til like 530 watching movies. I haven't stayed up that late in ages, at least not without a party to go to....

We watched this Spanish movie called "dark blue, almost black." it was crazy. Its about this guy who is taking care of his demented dad when his brother gets out of prison and asks him to get his girlfriend pregnant because he can't. Craziness ensues. And oh yeah, subtitles. I didn't think Kesi would want to watch it, but we were both into it.

Then we watched borat. I'd never seen it for some reason. Frickin ridiculous. I don't know how he keeps a straight face fucking with people like he does. I'm looking forward to Bruno because I really can't believe people keep falling for it.

Yeah. So it was nice. I hear about our friends' dramas and I wish they could have what we have. We talked about that too, our ability to "put it all on the table" and not have the urge to pick it back up, to complete the metaphor. I'm so blessed. Yay!
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