Friday: we left town @about 2ish, after my cousin was late picking us up, then we had to get her brother downtown, then he took a half hour in his house, blah blah blah. It was a straight shot on I20 to cayce, south Carolina, which I describe as a suburb with no city attached. There weren't big farm yards but there weren't any big buildings either. Just neighborhoods and a strip of fast food and big box stores off the highway. Or maybe medium box, lol. No walmarts.
We stayed at my cousin's aunt's house. No relation to me. It was cool though, they were nice. Her oldest child didn't live there but was at the house because we were. Cool, but her 3 sons were too. And they were bad. Not their fault, clearly their mom was not a discliplinarian. They looked dirty too. And they were loud. man, I was not feeling them. Anyway, I followed my usual routine of staying up til 3, which wasn't easy because there was shit to do. Nowhere to walk or drive. We drove an hour to go eat. I watched goodwill hunting while I waited for Kesi to get off work.
Saturday. I was up and it was still dark. That's hard to do when you're so far East, but a lil easier when the 3 loudest kids that ever existed are 20 ft away. I had to cover my ear with my hand in order to muffle them and their mother/ aunt/ uncle yelling at them. My brother "woke" me up at 730 so I could get ready because we still had a 50 mile trip to Cross to meet up with our family. Somehow I still was sitting around from 830-10 waiting to leave. And hungry. Of course by the time we got there breakfast was over.
It was in Cross where I reunited with cousins I hadn't seen in YEARS, and met my dad's "fiance." I put it in quotes because this is the man that once called my mom his wife while conducting a car buy, and has been calling Kesi his son in law for years. Its somewhat clear he throws words around. Anyway I met her, smiled, and kept it moving.
*Can I digress for a moment? Yeah?
I don't like her. Luckily I think I'm old enough where that's neither here nor there for his sake. But I don't like her. She's plain as shit. I'm one for the bare faced look but she couldn't even rock a facial expression. Honestly if there was a pic of the 3 of us (ha!) one might think I was the girlfriend and she was the daughter. She had on beige gladiators. To a funeral! And they were dirty! And she wasn't wearing any beige! She's in her 20s. Why does she look so raggedy? That wouldn't have been a problem had she also not been shy as shit. Every time I saw them, they were off in the cut somewhere. 5 feet behind the crowd. And I know it wasnt him. We don't have a shy family. He was there cuz that's where she was. Never once tried to get to know me or my brother. And I wasn't about to go get played by her silent ass. Why was she even there? I get the support thing, but my dad spent more time after her than the other way around. She didn't even know my grandfather! I mean my mom loved my grandfather. This woman didn't even meet him. And she was the cryingest somebody...
Ok, rant over*
The funeral was beautiful. 2 of my uncles and my grandma's cousin sang. Man, when the cousin sang... Beautiful. He sang a hymn which I don't know the name of. Had everyone crying. My granddaddy's niece did the eulogy/ sermon. It was so powerful and really cemented the reasons I was there. To be there for my family. She talked about how my granddad used to bring them down to eutawville (pronounced Utah-ville) for family vacays and they'd be piled into a station wagon, all 13 of them. Lmao, 13! And she talked about how he always had a patient smile for you. He was a very even toned man. But a jokester. There was a lot more but I couldn't possibly say everything.
After that we went to the family cemetary. I didn't even know we had one! My uncle released a dove in his honor and he was buried next to my grandma. My mom explained to us that since the area was so swampy the law said they had to be in a crypt and a casket. So he wasn't 6ft under. Maybe like 3. The funeral home guys, I didn't like them. They didn't seem very professional. They got dirt on my grandma's stone and didn't clean it off. And they didn't have any particular uniform. I thought wearing a tee to someone's burial, even if you're doing the burying, was kinda rude. Whatevs. I'm not even gonna talk about how they almost liked to hit somebody trying to leave. I imagine that its not too often that people die in that town, so they need to stop trippin.
Anyways, we went back to my aunt Tina's house, the same house I stayed in when I was 7 (I'll link that story later), and had a banging lunch. Caught up with family, took pictures and videos and roasted a few, namely my uncle Richard's kids. At one instance we found out that they hadn't actually put on their ties properly, but instead had took them from the display setting, and put them around their neck with a rubber band. What got us was that we DIDN'T KNOW until one of them pulled it down and it snapped back up! We laughed for a half hour. My cousin even walked over to the "drinking crowd" and showed them and you could hear them laughing across the lawn. I call them the drinking crowd, btw, because someone had made corn liquor and they were drunk.
My uncle Mike offered to pay for my wedding if he "gets this money." apparently he's suing someone. I hold him to it, too. Although, he does have a ton of kids who may feel entitled.
It was so nice to see my family, but part of me needed my phone back. We left at like 8PM and 20 minutes out of town I had service back. We headed back to cayce and I spent my time half asleep until my brother and I found the channel with Danny Phantom and Pinky and the Brain on it. Everyone ended up falling asleep in the living room and even though the kids were again loud, I woke up very refreshed. I won't mention how I had to step over them to go pee cuz they fell asleep in the hall. Insanity. There was 3 empty beds in that house and my brother and cousin slept on the floor.
Sunday morning we ended our trip with a game of Scene It. Guess who won it for her team? Why yes, it was me! It was a fun game and I may have to get it. We headed back to Atlanta around noon and I stayed up for a good piece of the trip. Found out there's a Laurel and Hardy museum in Albany, and that cows be lounging.
And that was my trip. I'm sure I left sumn out, but a lot happened, so...
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4 comments:
Where to start??? Corn liquor? Did you try any?
Funeral home people are the worst. It's a shiesty business.
You got woke up by loud kids, I got woke up by my loud grandma.
Are you older than the plain jane cry a lot fiance?
its ok to rant just dont fuss and comp0lain hope all is gett8ng better for u
corn liquor is STRONG and scary and mixes well with NOTHING. glad you got to reunite with fam! downgrade on the bad cousins of cousins. that's not a good look. parent fail. and all that waiting? not the kid. i am very very bad at doing that much waiting. i get vexed. my dad always asks me if i want to meet his gfs. that'd be a no. she won't be around anyway. maybe the "fiancee'" was sad about something else and this was an opportunity to let it out. OR maybe she was trying to impress you and that was the only way she knew how. unfortunately... sorry bout ya luck, chick. i tried to think but i don't know proper attire to dig a grave.
rashan- i did not drink the corn liquor. i heard about it too late. i figure if you work with the dead you havve some kind of respect for them more than the average person. did you see the pix? she's plain. annd im really not sure of her age.
jameil- and of course since the kids werent related to me i couldnt get on them like i wanted... i didnt want to meet the girl but there she was! bah. i dont have any real issues with her crying, it just came out in my rant. it was like one more circumstance. i thought grave diggers wore jumpers. at least they do on tv...
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