Shhh...

I like to think I'm good at keeping secrets. There of course have been times when I have slipped, and naturally I don't consider sharing with Kesi or La "telling." that's just like repeating it to an empty room, lol. But when talking at work the other day, I shared the story of why I'm so good at keeping secrets:

Does anyone remember DARE? Drug awarenes resistance education? I don't know if they had it in the south, but up north they had this program where in 4th grade a cop would come in and tell you why drugs are bad and to stay away from them. They tell you what drugs and drug periphenalia and even drug dealers look like, all with the aid of "The Simpsons" -esque cartoons. And they gave you a chance to ask anonymous questions. This is where the trouble started.

My best friend in 4th grade was a 5th grader named Adela. We rode the same bus and had a crush on the same boy, my classmate Eric "Shorty" Santiago. Swoon! We used to yell out "Shorty!" on the bus after school and embarrass the eff out of that poor boy. Adela and I were tight and told each other everything. We even sang together, which, is no small feat because both of us were shy, violin playing type chickies.

I remember Adela was so upset one day. We leaned our heads against the back of the seat in front of us and whispered to each other. Turns out, her friend Evelia, who was also a 5th grader, was bragging in their neighborhood (Adela lived close enough that we rode the same bus, but far enough that I wasn't allowed to bike to her house. I was 10 after all) that she smoked cigarettes. Adela tried to get her to stop but there were other kids influencing Evelia, and it was just all bad. Now I see that it probably wasn't about the smoking, but more about the fact that she was losing a friend. I tried to make Adela feel better but of course it was no use. I really had nothing poignant to say.

The next day during DARE, I decided to get some help. "this girl I know is smoking cigarettes. What should I do?" The officer over the class, one of my aunt's coworkers from all the way in Waterbury- what, were our cops too busy patroling to volunteer in their own city? Waterbury was not close by- was very little help. The advice she gave was stuff Adela already tried, probably because she took the class the year before and was the type to retain information. I was crestfallen.

At lunch that day, I was greeted by the inquisition. Shirley and Krystin. Shirley was the type of girl who, even in elementary school, you knew she was gonna be a skank by the time she was a teen. She was always kissing someone or showing off undeveloped private parts. Oh Shirley... Krystin was still considered the new girl, and having her first friend be Michael Smith, the biggest dork in our class (also known as my first kiss, who I think is gay now, figures) was a double blow, so she was trying to be up on info in order to be cool.

"I recognized your handwriting on that question earlier..." and who are you now Shirley? Jessica Fletcher? Ugh!

"what? I didn't write it! You're crazy."

"oh come off it! Who's smoking, Joy?" and now I see that Krys is playing bad cop. Pointing and getting stern in her voice.

I folded pretty easily, I now see. But I thought I was safe. I made them pinky swear. And any self respecting girl can tell you pinkie swears are law. Apparently one of these two had no respect for themselves or me.

The next day I arrived to school ready to greet the day.
"there she is!" Shirley came bounding up to me while I was standing in line waiting to enter the building. "Her! Joy!"

Behind her was Evelia. Let's take this time to describe our opponents, shall we? Joy- 10 years old, 85lbs (if that), 4foot 9, baseball and kickball player. Strong points: running, climbing, the ability to brush off bumps and bruises. Weak points: violence. Can't fight a lick.

Evelia- 12 years old, 120lbs, 5foot 3 (not fat, but surely a big chick), sports unknown. Strong points: close relation to the devil. Weak points: I sure if I would have tripped her she would have fallen pretty hard.

Back to the story: Shirley disappeared as quickly as she ratted me out. And Evelia was about 2 feet away from me. "who told you I smoked cigarettes?!" I don't think you guys understand. This bitch was huge.

"I'm not telling." I even distinctly remember crossing my arms in defiance.

"WHO TOLD YOU I WAS SMOKING?!?!" at this point she took a step closer to me and the fires of hell came out of her mouth and melted my steel reserve.

"Adela." and she was gone. For a big girl, she was swift (I'd like to point out that I was her height and weight at high school grad. So when I say she's big, its the perspective of a wee 4th grader, not "if only I weighed 120" current Joy). At this time I noticed that everyone was looking at me. I imagined they were thinking, "that Joy, she just ratted on her best friend! If I was adela I'd never speak to her again. Tsk tsk." I mean, that's what I was thinking. And that bitch Shirley was back in my face trying to be all sympathetic. Thankfully the doors of the school openned- where were they 5 minutes ago?- and the longest day in history began.

I didn't see Adela until we got on the bus. She was crying. Apparently she and Evelia got into a big thing and they weren't talking. And she was really mad at me. At that point I felt I should have gotten my ass kicked rather than snitched on her. As much as I wanted to I couldn't take it back. And so I did the only thing I could do, which wasn't enough. I told her I was sorry, and that I could understand if she never wanted to share a seat ever again.

Adela and I fortunately remained friends, though it took a minute before she would share any secrets with me again, which is understandable. She and I left Bridgeport the same year, and we even stayed in touch for a while after that. Her little brother ended up being my cousin Ms Lady's best friend. Small world, huh?

These days, when a person confides in me, I think of her. How I almost totally lost my friend and my credibility, and how I never want it to happen again.

And, you know, almost getting my ass beat certainly helped too...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile