1022

October 22, 2007...

Breezy's birthday. He'll be 23. I don't know what I'm getting him, but he mentioned he wanted more headbands, lol. I bought him the elastic ones for his dreds so they'd stay out of his face at work. This year... Who knows. But I've still got time.

Lauren and my friendaversary. This would be the third one we're celebrating I think. Hopefully she'll be here. I've been trying not to be selfish about her being in TX, cuz I feel like that might make her feel bad about being there so long. I may try to see if I can go there, but my trips have not been so successful this year.

Its also the day my brother Jay (both of my brothers like to be called Jay. How silly) leaves for bootcamp. Then, to parts unknown, at least unknown for now.

I kind of had a breakdown to him the other night. We were all born in CT, but his mom moved to NC when he was a toddler. Then we moved to Ga when I was 11. We haven't seen each other much since we were very small, and now were adults. I feel myself scambling with the hope that we can get to know each other as he prepares to go into a dangerous situation.

"I think our moms knew we'd do better than CT, lol. But now its like, ok, here's this grown man who is related to me and we can't really have a brother/sister thing- we've seen each other twice since we were too young to remember- and I wanna be friends with you, but I don't wanna send you a questionaire so we can catch up and know the things we should already know. Blahh. I'd like to visit, and be cool, and not have circumstances be an excuse anymore. You know? That was a lot huh?"

It was a lot but it needed to be said. I needed to let my brother know these things I couldn't say before. Funny how life puts you in place to say what's on your mind. Now I have a month of stability. I'd like to see him before he has to go.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile