I work in a well known hotel, part of a chain, one you might see commercials for on TV. I work in the gift/grab and go shop. Meaning we sell food and silk shirts, soda and postcards, etc. Next door, literally connected to us, is a starbucks. Upstairs is a cocktail bar and 2 brand new restaurants. We are under construction and the north side of the building is shut off from everyone except on the guest floors, where the rooms are all done. I think that about covers it. Oh- its also a large place. I have worked there for years and just experienced a few new routes this week. Now, on to the dumb ish.
My favorite line: "you've been here a while! You waited on me this morning!" no... That was a completely different girl. Yes, we look alike, but she's from Ethiopia! Did you really think I'd lost an accent since noon?
Me, at 11PM: we re-open at 6am, have a great night.
Them: will you be here at 6?
Me, in my head: yes, I have a cot in the back.
"do you have any REAL potato chips?" zapp's are real chips. What do you think they're made of? And they're damn good too.
Yes, soda is $2, beer is upwards of $5.50, and cigarettes are $7. You are in a hotel, and shit costs more. Believe it, boo. If you want cheaper, prepare to spend the difference on a cab cuz the closest place to get this shit is 8 blocks away. Yeah, you are paying a convenience tax. Deal. And when I tell you the price of your ish, don't say, "damn! I need to go back home," cuz I will agree.
"do ya'll sell coffee?" no! There is a whole starbucks right there. Why and where would I have a cup of coffee back here? And don't ask for a muffin either. I will hit you.
Boy who is clearly 12: can I charge this too my room?
Mo: are you 18?
Boy: yes.
Gtfoh! You are 18 and I am mother Theresa. Bless you my son, you must pay cash.
"do I get a discount? I'm staying in the hotel." uh, you and about 4000 other people. Who else would shop here but people who are STAYING here?
"are you two twins?" no, Mo and I are about 2 years apart and we don't look THAT much alike.
@11:45PM: "are ya'll open?" yeah we just turned off the lights and locked the door for fun. No, you can't just get one thing. You can get acquainted with my back, cuz I'm walking away.
"why does your name tag say bridgeport CT?" cuz that's where I'm from. No I did not transfer from there for work or school; yes there are beaches in CT, a lot actually; and there are indeed many black people who live there. And no, I'm not rich.
"your name is Joy? Its been a joy meeting you!" uh haha, no. Stop that. I've been hearing it since I was old enough to tell people my name. And now, 22 years later, its kind of lost its humor. And there is no "ce" on my name. I don't mind if you call me Jo, but Joyce bothers me. Don't ask me why. I'm not sure.
"when I was here last year, there was a little coffee shop with sandwiches and desserts and a gift shop. Is it still open?" ok, look up there where it used to be. What do you see? A wall. How deep. That place has been knocked down and the place where you stand has all that shit you just named. Yes we changed our name, but that's because the name implied a location, and since we aren't in that location anymore, it'd be kinda dumb to keep the name. So buy something.
"what does the (letter) stand for in the name of this store?" the name of my hotel is two words that begin with the same letter. That letter is the initial for the store. So say I work for the "Georgia gallery" hotel. Our store is called the "G store". Yet every day people ask me what that damn G stands for!
"why can't I charge to my room?" maybe cuz you didn't put a credit card on your room, or maybe its a check in error. Or maybe this is not your room. Either way, this is an issue you need to take up with someone else, not me, cuz I caint hep ya. No sirree.
"you guys sell Pepsi? Wow!" there is no law against selling Pepsi in Atlanta. Yeah Coke was made here but you can get Pepsi, like, anywhere. We won't look at you funny or chase you with torches and sticks.
You know your money is all the way at the bottom of your purse, and that there are 22 people behind you, and now I, and they, have you wait for you to set that monster on the counter so you can pay me in $3 in pennies, muscounting and recounting all the way, and I see the $20 right there, which would make all our lives easier, but I can't say anything cuz that would be rude, and I am at work, and even though you are in the wrong you would probably curse me out and call my manager or send her a complaint note, and this nigga behind you wants to know how much his soda is and when I tell him he thinks its ok to hand me $2 and not $2.16, which is its taxed price, just cuz he's being impatient, and again I would be wrong for just putting that $2 in my pocket instead of in the register and being 16 cent short, and you finally have your money counted out, in lil ten cent piles, and no, you don't need a receipt cuz all of a sudden your ass is in a rush. Next time, take your money out in the line. Damn it.
There is one line. If you so choose to stand over to my left, just because you feel you're too good for this here line, you will not get waited on. I will tell you once that the line is over here and unless you have a question, you need to stand there and buy your ish. If you continue to stand over yonder, I will let you keep standing there and you'll get rung up when I'm done with aaalll these people right here who passed kindergarten and the whole lining up thing.
*please use this as instructions as to what not to do when you go out of town. I might talk about you.*
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
4 comments:
woooooooooooow. i think my fave was "Did you really think I'd lost an accent since noon?" i also appreciated "what is the g for?" its for "gee you're not bright."
DEATH TO PEPSI DRINKERS!!!!!
lmao at person who skipped kindergarten and doesn't know how to stand in line!
why don't people learn to count their money while in line? and not at the register?? at least get your wallet out or something, sheesh
HA! lmao at ALLLLLL of that!
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