This post was supposed to help me change the subject but to go from this subject to the subject I wanted to move on to would seem so heartless. Even if only to me.
Breezy called the job today and I picked up. It was odd because last time I checked he was at work. He was crying. Shit. "my grandma just died." I sent him a text telling him I got his back on whatever and he sent me back a thanks. I'd never heard him talk about his grandmother and figured he was crying cuz his mom was there. I could hear other women in the background.
Later, I went to get a card for him, and our supervisor said I was mistaken and it was breezy's girlfriend's grandma who died. Double shit. I knew her. We danced at the Christmas party. Taps was the one who found her colapsed on the floor and called Breezy, frantic and screaming. In my mind I know, but hope that it isn't true, that taps's daughter was there too when it happened.
All of this just makes for a situation I wouldn't wish on anyone. This was the nicest, realest woman. You know, one that everyone calls Mama or Grandma, and she's not afraid to treat you like she raised you herself. And she did raise Taps.
I wish I could be there, and she knows I'll do anything to help her, but when people die you never really know what to do. You don't know whether to get them to talk or sit there in silence. To hug or let them sit. I don't know if I should call... I want to pay my respects... Geez.
She just told me her grandma's birthday was in 2 weeks. God, we were just talking about her not 8 hours ago! Who knew? And where would we be if things were just a little different? I have the fear every day that my grandma's not going to be here much longer, but her grandma wasn't as old or sick as mine. She still worked, she was always out and about... It was totally unexpected.
I could keep going on. Really I could. So many thoughts are going through my head. Ugh.
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1 comment:
i think when you go and sit with them you let them lead the way. if they want to talk, they will. if they want to sit, they will. just you being there and letting them do what comes natural i think is the biggest help of all.
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