romance vs reality part one: the mary syndrome

dear woman, is this you?
-confident
-cute girl next door who can clean up nice.
-friendly despite what the haters say.
-so unpretentious you've been accused of being a lesbian.
-the one with more male friends than female.

thats just a few- the list goes on but i will not. you have it: the mary syndrome.

we've all seen "there's something about mary," right? they all loved her. she was the object of many men's affections because she was so different from every other girl. all she was was herself. i call it a syndrome not because its a bad thing, but because youre born with it. i have it. lauren does too. that's why bitches be hatin.

this brings me to my heading.

romance. shockingly this refers to the males. its a fantasy. you give them a compliment. put your head on their shoulder. smile and joke. next thing you know theyre in love with you. and you are stuck with the scooby face. you know the one. the one that makes you go, rorgh?

reality. you thought they smelled good that day. you were actually playing cute for the other guy by putting your head on his shoulder. it was a funny joke!

ok, yeah sometimes you flirt. but quite never the syndrome makes your flirt indistinguishable from general niceties. and youre already a pretty girl, and since they've already pictured you naked, your flirting or not flirting turns them into a man milkshake. and not a good one, but one that is melted and sticky.

you manage to make many male friends. they all admit that at one point they had a crush on you. either that or you and he have dated, kissed or had a quick fling that didnt work out as planned. this is the origin of your guy friends: guys who at one point or another wanted you. or are gay. you spend your time trying to find them a girlfriend who will almost surely be jealous of you and him and this friendship you share. if she gets over it, she's marriage material.

ever notice they never try to hook you up with guys? that would ruin the dream. that one day you'll realize you want him and he'll have just what he wants: a best friend he can have sex with and instead of cuddling with after, play San Andreas with.

kesi and i were friends. he even liked one of my friends before me and i encouraged her to try and date him. i implied before that he was just waiting for me to become single but i dont really completely believe that. the good thing about this syndrome is that you are confident enough to make the first move. it has its successes, because you have the fortune of getting to know someone before you make a commitment. this ensures an honest foundation and less arguements.

embrace this phenomenon. you have an allure. it is a gift.

stay tuned for part 2- on the theory of change and why we feel so strongly about it.