i hate sales people...

well. i do. and i dont mean the people who stand in the store and help you get a shirt or a cup of coffee. you walked in there and knew that you wanted to buy things. they are helping. there is no pressure.

the sales people i hate are the ones that come to you. they used to have vacuums and silverware and come to your door with a cheap suit and ask about the lady of the house (who coincidentally, in those days didnt have money of their own; they were just the ones who could convince their husbands to buy this vacuum you were seduced into loving).

these days they strike up conversation with you in public, on a bus or train, or in my case, trap you at work and tell you about their product while you are stuck smiling at them. you cant say, "not interested!!!" as you would on the street because you are forced by your paycheck to be nice to them. i have experienced this many times when people came to the hotel i work at to have conventions. they sell candles, information, clothes, energy drinks, and the worst of them all... fucking noni juice.

now, i am a healthy person. i just recently decided i would not have doritos, my favorite snack, for the rest of the year. instead i purchased a pommegranate and some pistachios. i love fruit so much kesi calls me a fruit bat. i dont eat pork... for a person who doesnt exercise formally i am very active. i walk every day and have sex regularly. no real problems except my anemia, and even that is getting better. i say this to say, what do i need a miracle juice for?

it costs $45!!! are you kidding? i am not so lazy that i cant eat healthily and do some sit ups, but will instead spend my hard earned money on a bottle of bad tasting mystery juice that i dont even get to try first, because someone said it'll cure me of things i dont even, and may not ever, have.

"but what if your doctor said you had, like, cancer and the doctor said you needed to do something?" one sassy sales woman decided to confront me with. clearly she wasnt the best sales person. what kind of question structure is that?

"well seeing as how i cant afford to get sick right now, i guess i'd die." she left after that.

another thing about these sales people, is that they are not so interested in selling products. they would much rather manage people who do. they get those people to "invest" money and buy products to sell. but then those people can do the same thing: find someone to sell, and buy products and supplies from them. pyramid scheme, anyone? no thanks. i have a REAL job.

they are also very motivated by money. they will argue you DOWN about why this should be the thing for you, with, "dont you wanna make some extra money? who doesnt wanna make money? this money will stop the terrorists!!!" as their main point. well i concider myself to not be at all motivated by money, so that's not at all apealing to me. if i really cared about money, i would have went to college three years ago, when everyone else did, and get a degree in, like marketing or some crap that i didnt love. i love radio. music. people. thats what i wanna do, and i would do it for free if i didnt have bills. and if i could one day send my kids to college with the family's good looks as colateral. but i digress. i love that. obviously, sales people love...money.

i'm gonna go all fight club on them. start my own little army that fights against these people with no personality and no friends to spend all thier precious cash on. they are the all singing, all dancing, scum of the earth. god i love that movie...

so in conclusion, sales people suck. they atribute nothing to the world. except something for me to aspire never to be. and they're rude and self centered, in general. so boo to them.