That's what I am.
So... After I posted that story about almost getting whooped over a secret, I went on facebook to see if I could find some of the people I mentioned in it. Guess what? I found EVERY ONE! Except Adela, but I'm working on it. I even found the girl who almost beat me up, but I didn't try to add her. We have no other connections, lol.
So anyways, over the past few days I've been emailing them, checking out pictures, seeing who's still friends with who and ended up where. They all still remember me, which is cool, and they all look the same, which apparently is also true of me.
I'm sad because in my mind, people are where they were when I left the. Everyone I emailed and requested and have talked to, they were still 11 in my head. Now I'm seeing kids, and marriages, ivy league credentials, vacations and so much more that I can't describe. These people have lived 13 years without me. They aren't who they were back then.
I missed it. And its my fault really. I didn't say a thing that last day of school. I cried for my best friend, who was brave enough to say she was moving away. Hid my tears from moving hundreds of miles away behind that reason. Instead of telling them what was wrong... These were my friends. I pretty much abandoned them. So I guess I'm sad with regret.
"Yea, it was crazy coming to school the first day of sixth grade. You were the only one I was really looking forward to seeing, and it really hurt not seeing you, anyway lol."
The boy who pinned me to the wall and kissed me when we were 5 said that to me today.
So yeah. Just a lil sad. I wish I could go back and change that day. Get some numbers and addresses. But I was so "tough" back then (another childhood friend's words, not mine) that I kept myself at a length. All I can do now is try to catch up.
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8 comments:
wow...i can't believe you found ALL of them! facebook is pretty friggin powerful. i've been staying away from it!
feel better...they are as much to blame as you are...but really no one is to blame since you were all kids!
i'm still amazed that you were able to reconnect with everyone.
awwwww. that's bittersweet. it is cool that you were able to catch up with all of them.
you can't change it and there's no reason to wish the past was different. just make sure you don't do it again. that's the best any of us could do. translation: you BET NOT think of dropping off of the blog earth w/nary a word or i'm poppin up in the A with a ready, willing and able foot!
You know what? You were a kid then. don't beat yourself up over it. Just keep in touch now if you feel you want to.
I think you have the right idea. Just go with the flow. You'll all have a lot to talk about. :)
Diva- me either! Them plus others, lol.
Adei- bittersweet indeed.
Jam- lol hush girl I'm not going anywhere.
Rashan- yeah I was a kid. Its just weird how I hadn't even thought about other people's feelings.
Press- yeah I'm just catching up now. It just hit me really hard when he said that...
dont be sad sister
awwwwww... well, dearie, i guess yah gotta learn from it and live in the now...
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