and, like sex, i will need to take a nap after

So school is about to start again for me, after about a month off for winter break. I'm exited to go back, which is big because four years ago, i decided i was tired of learning and i took a break. Besides, i didnt know what i wanted to do with my life.

now, after deciding i want to be in radio, i am back in school, and actually doing well. In the past six months i've accumulated a 3.8 GPA. I dont mention this to brag, instead to say this: i'm proud of myself, but i'm also very scared.

i didnt do this good in high school. Or elementary. Mostly because i wasnt motivated; i in no way believe i wasnt smart. Its just that now i got this drive in me i never had before, to be able to work and go to school and hardly ever spend time at home or with friends because i want to am too busy or sleepy.

on the other hand, i have to work harder cuz I'm three years behind all my peers. Look at reka: she's already on the radio and i just took audio two. So what if i'm too late? What if my efforts are in vain?

so i fight and get good- nay, great- grades so no one can legitimately deny me. I want to get an internship this summer and absorb all i can so that in 09 (09!!) i can graduate and get a great job and do what i want and what i love. I guess its not so bad. I'm living the dream or some crap. You can never know if you are making the right choice. But as lauren said, my mind is clear. No matter what my emotions say, and they have been saying alot, i know what i have to do and i take it one day, one class at a time. By the end of this whole school thing, something everyone but me knew i was gonna do, i'm gonna be tired but satisfied (like sex, even). And if i quit i'd just be tired.