Sunday, July 09, 2006

the more i think about it,

the funnier, or at least more interesting this story is. so i'm telling it. last friday i went to the club. with:

b, my best work friend and the guy who drives me home when i dont wanna take the train.

bri, new chick at work who's as cute- and smart- as a button.

marcia, a night shift regular who feels my pain, and my love of reggae.

denny, a morning shifter from the usvi who has breathing problems and a mantra: i got five kids!

and nadia, also from the islands, whose birthday it was, and who wanted to go out despite not dancing with ANYONE but b.

so friday night we leave work at record time. the royal peacock closes at 4am but we want to have as much fun as a $20 can legally get ya. despite the fact that the club is only a few blocks away, we have to go all the way to nadia's to pick her and denny up.

we get there at about 12:30. i'm the first one dressed in my cute new extra long pink tank and shorts i refer to as "jeans underwear." accessorized with a multicolored sash worn as a belt and a vickie's bra you can almost see through my shirt. whoo that girl was smokin.

an hour, a plum and an orange soda later and we're outa there. we find parking easily and discuss why guys think yelling out a car window is supposed to make a girl with any sense want to answer. we also discussed how b looked like a pimp with 5 scantily clad girls walking down auburn ave with him.

we enter the club after being frisked, wristbanded and serenaded by a toothless crack head singing "i wanna sex you up." we head for the bar and everyone gets a drink including b and bri, who are a litte less than legal.

the music is bumping. many reggae songs i've only heard once. but all it takes is for me to finish my double of malibu- lauren's influence- to get loose enough to dance. and in a reggae club all it takes is a girl with her ass wiggling to magnetize some dude(s).

i'm dancing. bri's dancing, and she's looking like she's gonna be in a video next week. but the guys like it. nadia is of course dancing with b and the others are getting their individual grooves on. we see j, another islander who works downstairs from us. he's wearing just a white a-shirt. and he's muscles for days. and he can dance, naturally.

about this time, mr straight from a beanie man video comes up. we dance. he tries to one up me but i'm right with him. at some point he attempts to take me to the floor rump shaker style, and manages to land flat on his ass. my friends see this and do the point and laugh. needless to say he didnt wanna dance with me anymore.

j tells me he respects me. oh, so you didnt before? i tell him i grew up around jamaicans and he seems impressed. haha. so we dance and he seems more impressed.

bri starts telling guys i'm her girlfriend so she wouldnt have to dance with them. i do a very unconvincing job of making them believe it. but seeing how i'm not a lesbian...

denny had to work at 6:30 am. at about 3, she went to sit down. and directly fell asleep. asleep! mouth open, maybe some drool. in a club of bumping music. she has apnea so she's constantly nodding off. but this did it. i've never seen anyone full on snore in a club.

so 4:15 rolls around and the lights come on. actually they'd been on for a few minutes but they didnt start playing slow music until then. so we got on the highway, opting to go to bri's house first cuz she lived the farthest away, near six flags. only one problem: she really had no idea where she lived.

we drove around for almost an hour. from camp creek, the fairburn side, to cascade road and back. i'd like all of you with sidekicks, blackberrys, and the new sda like mine, to pat yourselves on the back. you will never have to worry about a drunk 19 year old who doesnt know how to get home. please visit mapquest.com to see how not close those things are to each other.

once we have an affirmed way to her house, we stop at a gas station. he made bri pay for the gas. looking back, this must have been the moment b really looked like a pimp. me in my booty shorts and nadia in her ridiculously short skirt went to the store to get food with b. some guy asked me how old i was. "Old enough not to answer you." b told me to stay until nadia finished.

we take bri home. she also has to work soon and mentions cheerios as she stumbles to the door. we drop marcia off but she cant get inside at 6am and opts to sleep in her car. next is nadia and denny, who live near me. and i get home and go straight to bed. i too have to work later that day.

i left my voice somewhere at that club and still havent really gotten it back. everyone made it to work saturday but bri. she and the cheerios had a fight. they won. we're going back the 21st to see kid capri. i loves him.

5 comments:

shani-o said...

Good lord... You should have been in Vegas with us - I think the reason why people were so nice to us was because we actually knew how to dance.

Jameil said...

ooh la la!! that sounds so fun!! mad at ya girl sleepin in the club!! that's crazy! the toothless crackhead serenade is also priceless. you're not sexy until you get a toothless serenade from a crackhead. but also i wanna know why dude asked you how old you were??? wth?? that's like 8th grade of him. that's for dirty old men tryna pick up somethin young but not wantin to catch a charge for it. "she said she was 18. i ain't know i had to get id, too!" nasty.

the joy said...

dudes always ask how old i am. i got a baby face. me and my boyfriend together looks like a ten year age difference. we're 3 months apart.

Jameil said...

a flight attendant asked me if i was older than 15 like 2 months ago. i was so confused. i was thinking what??? i'm 23??? but i just said yeah.

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