maybe its me

the Hater's birthday is this week. so i decided to give her a new name. taps. because whenever something ridiculous is going on at work she'll reach her foot over and tap me as if to say, we'll laugh about this later. and usually we do. the truth is: we're actually friends.

it goes back to what i said a few months ago. friends hold grudger longer than the person originally wronged. in this case, i was annoyed by taps's every move toward b, especially when he was talking to hartford, because he told me once or twice that he was done with her cuz of all the shit they went through. i never really gave her a fair chance. so who's the real Hater? she was very rarely mean to me, baring that time that gave her the original name. i dont even count that time at the club cuz if someone was dancing with my ex i might have to give them stank looks too.

so maybe i'm the Hater. i mean, at least in this situation. but i can admit my wrong doing... this girl doesnt even beef over the little inside jokes we tend to accidentally not include her in. i was the one who chose sides.

so yeah we're cool now. i just had to express my faults. luckily i never told anyone she knows about how i felt and my opinions; not enough to poison anyone against her. but that doesnt take away my misgivings about feeling that way and holding on longer than i needed to. i'm trying to work on letting people change.