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I love that John legend song. It perfectly describes my relationship with God. Sometimes I have so many questions.

I had a funny experience the first week of the year. It was during a conference full of college aged Christians. One of them said to me, "I'm a follower of Jesus and I would like to pray for you. Is that ok?" as a fellow follower of course it was. It really brightened my night-it was already midnight and I had to work til 3am. Another offered to pray for my legs so that I wouldn't be in pain after standing 10 hours 4 nights in a row.

How does it come so naturally? I don't have it like that. I grew up in church and as I said before my mom (and several of my aunts) are ministers. I have no shortage of people to go to. But I don't know. I'm in a position where I feel like I need to feel like God is not a friend-of-a-friend.

I have been feeling it lately. Pressure. Work, home, school... People say, have faith, but I can't help but worry. Kesi wrote me this note years ago that I still keep. Every time I find it, I put it somewhere else so I can find it again, just when I need it. "don't worry babe. He never gives you more than you can handle." I know its true. But I can't help feeling heavy.
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