Shop and shine

At 1030, Kesi woke me up and told me to get dressed. He was headed to work, and I was headed shopping! Woo woo! We left the house at about 1120am and went to the chikfila in the center where he works. I could eat chicken sammiches for the rest of my life. Seriously. Btw we passed Naturally Fresh blvd which is where the salad dressing is made and chik's headquarters is located. What kind of name is that for a street? We were laughing cuz there are other, non food companies down there too. What if being "naturally fresh" isn't what their company needs?

After that he dropped me off at the Marshalls so I could go put some stuff on lay away. This time next month I'll be in a surplus, because its labor day weekend, and thus dragon con and major tips for the kid. So by then I'll been some cute fall clothes and I'll have money to buy them! And its the tax holiday? Yesss.

I didn't know it was the tax holiday until I was stuck behind 1 woman for 15 minutes in the line. Are you kidding? She had 3 layaways active which she was going through picking what stuff she didn't want anymore, then she had a cart FULL of shit. And there were 2 people waiting on her. I know they could see me burning a hole in this woman's weave. And her kids were that kind of playful that can be annoying when you are in a bad mood. Which I was after waiting behind this heffa trying to buy marshalls out. Quit it.

So finally I get to the counter. I remember I didn't get to try my shirts on. Damnit! Its all good though cuz I could return them if I don't like it. But I think I will. They're all silky and mature and I'm doing my grown and sexy. *brushes shoulder off. I walked out with a xoxo purse, a Perry Ellis shirt for Kesi, and some unmentionables....

---Hol' up. Sidebar. We's peoples right? When did bras go from emphasis on cute to emphasis on comfort? I mean, beige support situations are not me. Them wide straps... Ugh. I found ONE bra. Thank you Calvin. I only went up one size! Geez! That's why I have so many pairs of draws and my bras share a drawer with my undershirts. They can't win.---

So anyway, my search for yellow shoes were semi fruitful. I found a pair of baby phats but they cost too much and were too busy. Boo man. Then I found some that were a pale yellow (so as not to look like a Laker girl, for them haters) but the biggest they had were 7.5. I tried, and my heel said "girl if you don't stop..." yeah I wear a 8, 8.5. So I walked out of that situation empty handed.

So oh yeah I had a dentist appt. Apparently the rain didn't care, and neither did Marta. I was late and slightly wet. So I went in and got cleaned, and found out part of one of my fillings came out. And I had a cavity. So I gotta go back. Womp. And I started raining again. I didn't leave the dentist til 4. I got there at 215. Stop playing!

So I'm headed home now. Yay. Btw did you know that if you drink something it takes 2 hours for your saliva to get rid of the residual sugars? So if you, like me, drink all day (I still have my lemonade from breakfast in my Starbucks water bottle), sugar is tearing your teeth. I'm lucky I only came out with 1 cavity.
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13 things I'm thinkin about

This weeks Thursday 13 is totally random. Literally the things I was thinking about earlier today:


1 my pinkie toe, which hurts

2 whether or not Tony Snow is dead or if I'm making that up

3 that damn trampoline I should be jumping on more

4 putting a grey streak in my hair

5 how this is not the topic I planned on doing this week

6 the cat in my yard

7 whether or not I sometimes look like a white chick on spring break when I dance to rap songs in the car

8 moving

9 how the decline of actual music videos shown on MTV may have to do with the decline in quality videos made by artists

10 how people don't deserve an explanation when they think they do

11 how smokers are such slaves to their addictions that they'll sit outside in 92 degree weather just to inhale more heat

12 why churches be hating, making black usher board ladies wear white stockings and nurse shoes. Don't NO black woman look good in white tights.

13 the homeless man who snuck behind the bushes at taco bell to ask us for a dollar, then scurried across the parking lot and across the street to the Wendy's in like 10 seconds.
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Work craziness

****this was the post I kept trying to send... I think it was the picture I added, which wasn't mine. I got it off google. So if you are confused about anything here, google it.****

*this guy from the valet svc, I guess he thinks he's being clever, but the joke was old when he said it. He asked if he could "get some Joy in his beverage." I told him we're fresh out. Breezy said I should... Maybe I shouldn't say what he said, lest someone take us seriously. I would never do that.

*my coworker asked me if she could look at my butt because the woman she had rung up was so unattractive she needed a distraction. B had been telling me for a few days that she liked me, lol. I mean, what kind of person asks to look at my ass? I guess she wanted to gauge my reaction, which was "my ass cures all." Kesi's was, "am I gonna have to make an appearance?" she also cursed my wedding day. Hmmm....

*our hotel had a grand reopening Thursday night. There was a rumor Maxwell was gonna be there. I was perked all night. Alas, I don't think he was there. But what was? Techno music and gogo dancers. No lie. B stood outside the store and stared up for the longest time at this one chick. Then we saw her at the parking garage down the street, lol. He was feeling a lil of that perk I had earlier. I was willing to lose my job over some Maxwell.

*apparently there's a work field trip to Body Tap this coming week...

*someone I work with looks like Janice the muppet. I won't say who cuz she can access my blog easily.

*this guy who works for the bell stand asked me why I won't show him any love like I do Walter Lee. Apparently I've been hating on him since day 1. I told him that its because I'm sure Walter Lee won't try to attack me when we're alone. I don't think that really made things better for me.

*so, we have to wear these tee shirts on weekends to promote these smoothies we started carrying about 2 weeks ago. No problem there, the shirts are a nice color, they're not busy... But we have no smalls. In a medium, the shirt comes down to mid thigh. I'm swimming in the arms. Now, my friend Mary Lou is about 20 lbs lighter than me, and she looks like she's wearing a night shirt. We also didn't get any xxl, and so B, this "healthy sized" woman who works mornings, and our 2 morning supervisors can't wear them because they're too tight. Oh, did I mention we are OUT OF one of the main ingredients for the drink? So what are we promoting? Bad fashion?

*i got into an argument with the Evil Supervisor Friday. Short version of it is that she's mad that she doesn't have the new manager in her back pocket like she did the old one. So when she called her on her shit, she decided to take it out on me. At which point I, again, went to the manager and told her what's what. Try me if you wanna.

*the reason why I was even over there helping ES is because the chick that was supposed to be working broke her foot on the Marta and had to take a few days off. Shit, ask me again if I'm gonna help her out. Nobody else better get injured over there, that's all I know, lol. And she's trying to give me the silent treatment. I told her I didn't care, and I'm acting like I don't. I'll still say bye when I leave, whether you respond or not.

*i told the woman in the cafeteria that I could not, could not, show her how to crochet. For one, I'm impatient, and she doesn't follow along easily. 2, I kinda make things up as I go along, and I don't want to be telling people wrong stuff when they're trying to follow along in pattern books. 3, I'm not telling you my secrets. Especially when you're cool with the housekeeper who was hating on my last year. So she tried to do a pattern where the colors stopped and started in tic tac toe squares, and she would tie off the ends before starting a new color, so there are strings everywhere. She asked me what she did wrong (the ugly, string everywhere look is just why I started doing it the way I do now), and instead of telling her that I showed her how to string those bad boys through the row so they wouldn't show. Trying to explain to her what she should have done would have been wrong on so many levels, especially since she started selling blankets too. I mean, I have 15 years under my belt. She has... 6 months. I'm so unconcerned.

*if one more person asks me if we sell sodas....

*there's this one chick who is always complaining about her feet hurting. Why are her shoes split at the top and her socked pinkie toes are visible? Maybe you need new shoes, folk.

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dont think i did you wrong

I posted on Saturday. Where is this post? No idea. I emailed it to blogger... It even had a picture attached. I got no confirmation email or nothin. I'll try to repost, but I'm afraid I'll have 2 of the same entry. So just to make sure blogger doesn't hate me I'm posting from blogger. This is only a test, lol.


In the spirit of giving you new info, remember that blanket I made last week? I spelled the baby's name wrong. Its not my fault though! They spelled it wrong on the notice they sent out at work. Its actually "briahna." damn it! Its an easy fix if she wants me to, its just really annoying! Age didn't even know I was making it for her, so... Share my pain.

13 things I do...

But maybe shouldn't do. According to myself and others:

1 Burp. Some people think its rude or unladylike. I really don't care. I do it in the company of friends who already know and love me, but some of them give me a hearty "DAMN!" when I burp. Apparently La's been telling people I burp like a man, lol. Why thank you.

2 Spit. Rashan is the inspiration for this post, as he is for the one I may do next week. I grew up with 4 boys, all brothers, who nurtured my tomboyish nature. Because of them, and the south's serious pollen count, I spit for form and function. Used to have spitting contests in middle school, which I won.

3 Curse. I curse like a fucking sailor. I think it has something to do with the fact that I wasn't allowed to because my mom didn't. She used them only when she was really mad. The other night I accidentally said "shit" in front of her and didn't even know, even after she asked me to repeat myself. I'll control myself in front of Jameil, since there's a pretty good chance she'll be spending some QT in Atlanta once she leaves PA. (squeak!)

4 Pull my hair out. One strand or partal strand at a time. I mentioned this before, a while back, and I definitely still have this problem. The "kitchen" area of my head is really short on the right corner, so that when I twist it it doesn't stay twisted. I know I should stop but its so subconscious! I'll be at work, doing something with my left hand, and my right hand is pulling out knots and stray hairs. Only the back right side though. . I need to get some braids so I can leave my hair alone for a few months.

5 Drink. My family has a history of alcoholism. My grandma drank a lot before she became a Christian, and my dad drank half a 12 pack of coronas and some crown at my birthday party then drove home. My uncle gets drunk at every gathering, as do his sons. I do know my limits, and when I went out Friday I only had 2 amarreto sours despite the offers by others to buy me more (I was safe with friends). I know my limits, but some might say my drinking at all is pushing it.

6 Have sex. Some people frown on this whole permarital sex thing. And whereas I would have liked to have maybe had sex with LESS people in my life, and who wouldn't, I think that (tmi alert) if they had what I have they'd change their mind. Besides that, we plan on being together and getting married, why not do the fun stuff now?

7 Talk so loud. Apparently I have an inner ear problem. This could be another part of belonging to a big family and not being heard, being a child of my mother, the loudest of all her brothers and sisters by far, or being a drama major and totally using that "projection" thing in every day life. Either way I once threatened to hit a chick with my boot because she called me loud.

8 Bite my nails. I don't do it as much as I used to. Actually I've pretty much stopped biting them OFF, but they're always in my mouth. They're pretty long, so I kinda bite down on the whole nail. Its hard to explain but its comforting to me.

9 Tickle Kesi. He hates it. And I kinda love that he hates it. The effed up thing is that he's so ticklish! I can't even kiss his neck without him putting my face into a head-shoulder vise.

10 Sing. Damn it, I can sing. Harmony mostly. Its just that I oversing the music. And some people, who actually wanna hear Alicia keys sing her song, don't like that. Meh.

11 Eat junk food. I am pretty sure that if I really wanted to lose this weight I keep complaining about, all I'd really have to do is lay off the doritos and fries for a second. But they're so good!

12 Give people the silent treatment. I'll get into a THING with a person, or decide that they've done something wrong. Then I won't talk to them for the rest of ever. I'll just seethe at them. That's not good. Then they think I have a tude, when there's a valid reason why I've stopped liking them. For example, chick who said gays should be stoned. I have been around her since then and my body seizes and all these bad things pop into my head that I could say to her. But I don't. I don't even say, "what you said to me a month ago really effected my feelings toward you and I think we should stay away from each other." no. I just stare at her and walk away before I punch her.

13 Crack my knuckles. And back. And wrist. And ankles. Another bad habit picked up by my tomboy cousins. And plus, I need to crack my hands because of all the crocheting and writing. But the other night while lying in bed I swung my right leg over to the left and cracked my back. Again, a hearty "damn!" was heard. I don't think it bothers him, but then I try to crack his knuckles. I used to do that to my brother, and now he cracks his own.

Is there anything you should stop doing? Why haven't you?
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Don't call it a comeback

I been doing it... I just haven't been taking pix. But I really like this one. Its for a work friend. A gift for her new baby. I "started" it about a week ago, after taking apart what I had worked on for a few days because I didn't like it. That VERY same night I'm on fb and I see another work friend's status "congrats to [redacted] on your new baby girl!!!" damn it! The baby was a month or 2 early. But she was big, so...

If you can't tell, cuz camera phones aren't the best, its lavender, yellow and baby blue. La, the grey didn't look right. I didn't wanna do overly girly colors cuz I know how much that annoyed me as a child. But Walter Lee's having a girl and his chick's fave color is red so I'm gonna do various shades of red.

Am I boring you? I'm going all stream of consciousness about yarn colors, lol. Anyway my next plan is to be in the national black arts fest (or some other annual Atlanta fests) next year. Gotta get that business license though. 2009 is mine!
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Score one for the kid.

I have to brag. About how 2 mistakes, the need for yellow shoes, and sneaking out of work got me the deal of the moment.

So I went to work today after going out drinking with breezy and another coworker, Mary Lou (that's just what I call her). I wasn't hung over, just tired. I called dibs on an early cut cuz I really needed lavender yarn for a baby blanket I am making and my walmart is closed by the time I'm home. Breezy called second cut.

Aaanyway, 6PM comes along and its still slow. Breezy says "man we should just go to the mall, I gotta get me some shades." ok. I got time. So we leave and head down to Lenox, leaving our coworkers in what may have been the beginning of a rush (don't feel bad for them, they're some slackers and it wasn't that busy), and I'm all set to spend my lil $10 off coupon from express and find some yellow pumps to go with my white and purple dress (the one I got for my grandma's party that never happened).

We head to express and they have "$20 off when you try on these jeans!" bitch! You want me to use this coupon, huh? At this point it would have been a total of $40 off because of the type of coupon. I try them on. They fit. Nicely. But they're $88 total. Now I got questions to answer. But I know I can find jeans on the sale rack that fit just as nice... I do. Lovely lil x2s. And a cute lil top too! Yay! So I head to the counter (did I mention breezy is GONE! He has no desire to see me waffle over pairs of jeans. I'm sure Kesi doesn't either, but shoot, its in his contract) and I realize... This thing I printed off the net isn't the coupon! Its a copy of my email! I was in kinkos, in a rush, I never did this before! "its ok. Lots of people do that. I got ya." thank you! "your total is 12.98." wha? The shirt and jeans were 20 each, and with the coupon I was only supposed to save 20. Even with their lil 30% off I still would have had to pay more than this because... I mean its math and its boring but it should have been more than 13, for sure. This is express! "oh yeah I think I used the wrong coupon... Oh well, its done now." I like this guy.

Meanwhile B is spending 50 on a shirt in Macy's. He doesn't know. Just being around me makes everythink cost less.

I didn't find any yellow heels though....

*Pic taken with my camera phone.

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Thursday 13: for real?

This is my first Thursday 13. I was confused on the whole thing... Was there a set topic that everyone followed, or do we just wing it? I think there should be some place that suggests topics, but alas, I had to think of a topic and then find 13 things that fit under that umbrella...

Well I figured 13 things. Things that, when I say them, people say, "really? I would have not known that about you."

1 my mom is an ordained minister.

"that explains it." apparently that's what some say when they find out my mom is nationally ordained. Explains my "wild and heathenly" behavior I guess. Even though I'm not either. I'm a responsible and well-adjusted adult with my own perceptions about life based on a set of morals that I either adhere to or rise above. So bah. Anyway she doesn't preach much because she doesn't know her pastor as well as we did back in CT, but she will get teachy on you and send you home with some study tools if you ask her a theological question.

2 I grew up in ct.

"There are black people in CT?" tons actually. Most people see CT as big houses and the richest state in the union, which is true, but my home town is a suburb of the biggest city in America. And all those people don't necessarily live in that city- they live in CT. And some of them are black. When immigrants come to the us they don't stop at Ellis island. My great grand parents went across the long island sound and hung out in Bridgeport, the home of the man who invented the American circus.

3 a few years ago I briefly considered being Jewish.

I saw a documentary where this chick was dating a Jewish man and she was Christian, and they were pregnant. Do you know they found a church that celebrates Jewish holidays? Wow. But I considered it in a way that I could be a Christian but acknowledge the same holidays and things that Jesus did. Since, you know, he was Jewish. I could still do that now, but yall know I really don't do holidays. Mainly because they're overhyped, which Jewish holidays aren't, but I'm soured toward the whole thing, lol. I still wanna learn Hebrew though, so I can read the bible in another language.

4 I can clap with one hand.

This always gets laughs. I can do it with both hands, which makes me look like a retard. But I think its from cracking my knuckles all the time. I wish I could show you, lol.

5 I don't have any sisters.

"you look like this girl. Do you have a sister?" if I was home I'd think maybe you were talking about a cousin, but down here, I don't know none of these chicks that supposedly look like me. My cousin Chelsea and I are about 9 years apart and don't know any of the same people, so they couldn't mean her. No. I aint got no sisters.

6 I don't know much about "old school" r+b.

Meanwhile my best friend has every Stevie album ever. My mom didn't play it. But I know yolanda Adams and Commissioned back and front. Any "secular" music I listened to as a chld is because of my cousins or my dad, who was a DJ in the 80s. I'm working to change that. Sort of. I know
The majors, but I had to look up Nina Simone when Stace said something about her the other day. However...

7 if given the option I'd rather go to a rock show.

I love rock. Actually the other day I said that I'd have my first dance to "nothing else matters" by metallica and the SF orchestra. Lol that's a definite possibility. Kesi and I went to see Korn and Disturbed for his 19th birthday. I've seen Eve for free and spent $5 on kanye. But when linkin park came to town last year I was kinda sad I couldn't see them. Rock shows don't have any pretense and its just pure energy. So fun.

8 I've never been in the King ctr.

I've stood on the porch, but never went inside. They were closed that day. I missed that field trip in middle school. I'm sure I'd enjoy it if I went, but I just haven't. No I don't feel like its my duty as a black person to go (thank you white guy at work), but I would like to.

9 I live in a dry house.

My mom doesn't drink, ergo I don't when I'm in the house. Except my 23rd birthday. I mean, yeah its my house, but I think it would be a sign of a drinking problem if I couldn't resist drinking for the benefit of my mom. So I go to the bar occasionally or restaurants and get a professional drank.

10 my favorite movie is "the Lil mermaid."

Its quite deep. All the talk of her being an outsider and wanting to belong... I think it took a different meaning when I was older than when I was a lil ocean/redhead loving 7 year old. I absolutely love that movie. I can't go into it now, lol, but trust me.

11 I used to have a perm.

Then my hair started falling out. It has nothing to do with my percieved "afrocentricity" and more to do with really tight pigtails and curling every day. I was bad to my hair. So I stopped getting perms at age 15. People have panic attacks when I straighten it which makes me think I should re-perm just to make people mad, lol.

12 I hate sweatpants.

I'm wearing the only pair I own, some hand-me-ups from my brother. They're for bed only. I feel like sweats encourage laziness. I haven't owned a pair since 6th grade.
13 I have a blog.

Of course you guys already know this. But people who don't read it are all, really? What do you write about? Am I in it? Haha. The answer to that last one is probably. I never tell anyone they can't read it though, but they never ask for the page! My coworker wants me to review her artist's CD (she's a promoter) but I haven't listened to it yet. Not for any reason besides the fact that I literally forgot about it.
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Change

So Kesi and I had this epic talk Saturday night. Not like, world shattering epic, more like we talked like we haven't in a long time. Its very rare that we're up together til 4am and fully dressed if you catch my drift.

Our convo ran the gamut of a lot of things, mostly stuff the other person wasn't there for. We talked about who I was before...

"if he was around I might as well talk to him, cuz everything about you changed." I don't think that was an exact quote, but that was the gist. And looking back, I see that its true. "you dress different. You're more comfortable now. Even back when we first started out you were starting to open up more."

Gosh, when I think about these things... How long its really been, and how true the things he said are... But that's honestly not what this entry is about. Its about how easy it is to get lost in another.

I could have lost- or never had- everything that I am. I didn't know how important this person that I am now, how important she is. To me and to the world. I'm not tooting my own horn here, I'm just saying that if I wasn't here today there are people who would miss me.

I know someone who is like that now. Everything she says is "we/us/together" yada yada yada. Despite the fact that Kesi and I have been together for 6.5 years (ooh OOH!), we still have separate identities, then we have us. There isn't much difference between who we are together and apart, but one of us is not lost in the other. Its more complementary than overpowering.

This chick... I don't know her well enough that way to be like, "you need to find yourself." I remember a time when I was perfectly ok with following someone in whatever they wanted to do and be- a background singer to their rock star if you will. But I know what she's going through. She's blinded. Not by a bad guy per se, its just the way things are. Its easy to see someone with ambition and fall in love with it. Its also easy to let them lead. But...

(I think I'm rambling. Bear with me.) when I look at Barbie I know I could have been her. Oh so literally. I could have had that baby and had to make the choice to stay with Ken even though he's, well, him, or leave and figure things out on my own, with no one to lean on, mainly because he's helped me alienate my loved ones (despite all my bravado a few months ago, its for this reason, and the fact that he's not helping her see that Christianity is an aspiration, that I still answer some of her texts). I could have been swallowed up in his bravado and charisma, his cult of personality. It would have been far worse for me than it is for her, cuz I love deeper than she. Likewise, I see this woman hitting the same path. Standing in the background and never taking the lead. Maybe getting married because he asked. Moving in because it seems "time." loving because he loves, and she thinks no one else will or could. Having earth shattering arguments yet snuggling next to him in bed that night.

And what could you do without him? Who could you be? Where is your future?

Its everywhere. Life goes the fuck on. Cry once and realize that you're still in your skin. Do something. Be someone. Cuz shadows disappear when the lights come on.
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I'm... Just being honest.

*kesi said the black cartoon from the nuvaring commercial looks like me. If you see that commercial lemme know, lol. He said it even has my bathingsuit strut. Its VERY new. I just saw it Monday for the first time.

Is it possible to have your own personal culture? I think my fairly gigantic (did I mention I have a big fam?) family has their own culture. Their own ways. It basically revolves around saying what you feel cuz no one will remember or even maybe hear you anyway.

This comes to my mind because my friend who I went to hs with came to town and we hung out for a day at her parents' house. This same house was the setting of a strange moment for me. Here's what happened:

*Her parents have some pda moment and share a lil cutey pie kiss.
*I say, "ew, old people love!" in a dramatically comedic way.
*Later her dad talks to her for an HOUR about what he feels is my "rudeness."

Now I feel that my mom or dad and their significant others (except notsomuch my dad, as his girlfriend is 12 years old), or even La's parents would have laughed along. Matter of fact, I call La's dad old all the time. He calls me fat. This is our way. Is it because I know them on a different level? Meh. Anyways...

So I kinda walked on eggshells at my friend's house all of 7 years later. Made sure to be the kind of polite I would maybe have been at a church I was visiting. But not my home church in CT, as I know them like family and we too have a rapport. Lol.

For the most part I'm considered colorful and funny, and I know I get that from my mother. She has an opinion and though it can be strong and sometimes really narrow (she once said porn created child molesters), sometimes it can be light and fun too. And she taught us to say what we feel. Sometimes- most times- its taken well. And sometimes people wanna talk about my rudeness for an hour.

Clearly this is something that has affected me from then on. And I'm not the only one that thinks my friend's parents are a lil tight, so...

Anyway, is it strange that I have a cousin who lives around the corner from me and I only communicate with her after work on the trains? I have her number, and she has mine, but we never call or text. Also, I just found out she has 20 brothers and sisters. 20! Not all of them are related to me. But about.... Let's give an estimate here... 12, including her, are. My uncle, the one that likes to scare people, and whose son scared me on the train this past winter, despite the fact that he is a lil slow, has a baseball and a basketball lineup, lol. Man I'm stopping at 4. I don't know what I'll do to stop after that, but shoot its clear my fam is hella fertile.

And I'm gonna see them really soon! I'm not gonna share too many details cuz they end up falling through, but I'm going home! Wooo!
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Love songs

So I was watching Robin Thicke's "lost without you" video today, and I decided to share one of my wants with you guys.

Before I tell you what it is, I wanna say that a few months ago I spent time talking to the wife of an R+B singer songwriter (which one isn't important) and I absolutely love her. When I hear some of his songs on the radio, knowing that he wrote some of them and continues to write songs, I wonder if he's thinking specifically about her. Of course I imagine he is, and the fact that she's so cool makes it easier. And it also makes me SO JEALOUS!

You guys, I want a song.

I didn't realize this was true until my friend (another friend) had a song written about her by her best friend. They weren't even dating! He was apparently inspired by a sermon they listened to together about purity. How sweet is that? Ugh. HATE! K, I love you, but I hate you!

I know a lot of burgeoning musicians. And a few tend to write songs about their loves. I ask Kesi when he's gonna write a song about me... I know it can't be rushed but I'm so antsy! I'm jealous. I think he made an instrumental for me, but he never actually said its for me. And he's written poems for me (shut up, he's a very good writer and I write poems to him too), but now that he's a musician about himself, I want to be among the ranks of Katy Perry (cupid's chokehold), even though her boyfriend is kinda ratty, and all the others I mentioned.

So... Get with it baby! :)
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for your viewing pleasure...

here is that fool singing on the train. unfortunately you cannot see him until he stops singing, because i didnt want to encourage him singing in my face again. so they were waaaaaay down the car when i started taping. also, the chick who called him over was dancing with him before i started tapoing her. he said her flavor was 'butter scotch.' ugh! also, he claimed to have been on american idol and making the band 4. i shudder to think what they did when he came across diddy's people. and check out his "oooh yeah..." in that one woman's face before he walked back over to my side.

Le random

*apparently my ex, Ken, drunk texted a mutual friend of ours bitching her out because she suggested they watch "Juno" and he didn't like it. Whatever he texted her was so rude she wouldn't repeat it. This is a grown ass man ladies and gents, getting mad over a movie review.

*my thumb swells when its hot out. Why is that? Sometimes its my pinkie, and only on the left hand. It gets tight and itchy. Weird.

*the devil's gatorade strikes again. I had put it in my locker after it offended my shorts on Friday (btw the stain came out in the wash), and I decided last night I was thirsty. After getting home late last night I picked it up when I got out of the car, and it spilled all in/on my purse! What the?!? I didn't even bother to take it in the house. I just threw it in the trash. Bitch ass gatorade. I knew I shoulda got vitamin water.

*red ink heals really nastily. It looks like an open wound. Or like "the white meat," as we call it when you really skin yourself and you see the vessels under it? Either way its bad and wrong. Interestingly enough, my flower turned brown as it started healing and now its turning red again. Its like it wilted and died and then came back.

*when I went to Psycho Sisters to get my scarf and shades (see pic) there was a lil white girl, probably about 7, singing jeezy's "put on for my city." she knew all the words and was trying to put in some notes and whatnot! Then I started smiling at her and she got all shy. It was so funny. Imagine a lil girl singing "call me jeezy Hamilton, flying down campbellton..."

*speaking of lil girls, I love that commercial where the lil girl has a dairy queen fort and her dad gets played by her, then when he comes back the dairy queen is "closed." so funny!


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A fence called Jesus

These are the texts I sent La at 1125-1130 PM, July 3, 2008.



*Oh God someone is singing and my mp3 player died. He's apparently singing about an "ice cream girl" and asking people what their flavor is. And now there's people playing his song!!! Oh God! This must stop!



*I wish I was lying. Now he's dancing! This is fooley Wang to the fullest!



*And people got the nerve to wanna join in! I hope you're not asleep. I can't take it Jesus.



They eventually left and came back singing a "love in the club" remix. Trust I got video. I'll have it up here ASAP. Just to clarify they texts, apparently I thought he was trying to sing/ hit on a chick, then his homey came up with the casio joint playing the song, and another dude had a camera... Apparently this will be on youtube tonight so if you see a chick with an afro, a frown, and a wife beater, that was me just trying to make it home from work cuz that Negro was in my face. His name... Was SKIIBO. No lie. Can't make it up.



This is just why I takes my camera everywhere.



Jesus, you were a carpenter, now please be a fence.

what a day...

this picture will not be up long. just know i am a person that keeps her promises.

sunflower= uniqueness and friendship

calla lily= pure love

fitting, huh?

also, kesi decided, after seeing his chick "man up" and get tatted, he wants one too (he's seen his bros get one but the place they were at was kinda low budget, lol). he was trying to waver, so i made him sign a promisory note. i would post it but it has his whole name on it. it says:

"i, (his name), do hereby promise to get a tattoo as repayment for my girlfriend joy c (my last name)'s undying love and affection, and her future promise to have my children."

ha! and he signed it! im so excited!!!! he already decided he wants 3. yes!

This girl I know....

...is a stripper. Now, I've always been the type to not judge, so when she told me this I was like ok. It was actually like:

Me: So where you working now?

Her: (insert the name of a downtown gentlemen's club)

Me: Oh so that's why you been stopping by (place that I saw her) so much.

One of two things occurred here. She was expecting a REACTION from me, and she should know by now that that's not my style. Or she was expecting me to be level headed and tell her to get another job, and that aint my place. But where I am unjudgemental, others are not so much.

"man, she can do better than that."

"she gave me a lap dance last night! Woo dog."

"knowing her, its probably more than stripping..."

Sigh. I don't know what to say. And I really don't kno what to do. The more people that turn away from her, the more that makes me not want to turn. Cuz that's the type of person I am. However, she's throwing a "party" at her "job" and invited me. I definitely don't wanna go to a strip club alone. And is she gonna be working? Cuz I also don't want to see my friend nekid. I've had enough of that in the past. (If I haven't seen you naked, I don't want to. And if I have seen you naked, I probably didn't want to in the first place, but these things keep happening to me!) I thought about taking Kesi with me but I want him to see my friend naked way less than I actually want to see it. I thought about taking Breezy with me, but I don't wanna take somebody else's man to the club. And now I'm thinking I'm not gonna go. I'm thinking as I type.

Did I mention she's lost weight? I mean, she looks cute, its not like cracky weight loss, but its apparently thanks to the pole workout. Not fair! I'm breaking a sweat every day at work and she gets a higher salary AND she's thinner than me? And she didn't lose her booty. Hate!

So yeah I had to just get that out. I've had deviant friends, one is even a professional drag queen who likes to dress up as the yellow ranger at dragon*con, but I've never had a stripper friend. Is there a decorum? Things to say or not say? Hopefully this will end well, with her transitioning to an office job and not being someone's trophy wife or baby mama... I'll just keep rambling if I don't stop now. Night...
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Back for the 08!

Its been a while since I've done a hate list. But considering right now, I'm feeling particularly hateful. But not so much that I can think of more than 5 things that I hate right now. They're big things, but not many things. Its the quality, not the quantity.

1. Late deliveries.
Our stock delivery was late at work. And we're very busy. Here are the things we ran out of:
*grande cups
*Fat Free milk
*soy milk
*cup sleeves
*creme frap base
*coffee frap base
*coffee light frap base
*sugar
*Vanilla syrup
*"classic" syrup
*lemonade
Meanwhile we had back to back groups of young adults, which means they wanted frapucinos. Do you know how much money we lost? Additionally, we have ads all over the store for blended lemonade and mint mocha fraps, so of course people want that, and get pissed when we say we don't have it, which I can understand. Then our manager went and got us some frap mix, and we subsequently ran out of mocha and whipped cream. Yay! Yesterday was the wackness.

2.T pain's top hats
They're getting bigger. What is he? The ringmaster of coonery? Its not a hot look. Neither are the golds that make his teeth look yellow. And his face doesn't do anything for the equation either. And he wears them everywhere? He must have like 50 top hats of various heights, each reflecting the foolishness of the particular event he's at. The one at the BET awards was the biggest so far.

3. Duffy's dimples
Don't get me wrong. I really like Duffy. "serious," "syrup and honey" and "rockferry" are really good songs. I tend to sing along at work. But watching her sing makes me not like the song. I don't think its just the dimples, but they're there even when her face isn't moving and that's weird. I think its more that her voice doesn't go with her face, in my opinion, and so I rather imagine that she looks like she's gone through some stuff. Like Adele. I believe her. She doesn't look packaged.

4. Black men with mohawks.
The only acception is Kesi's brother H. He has this loose, curly hair that works for the hawk. But when you're fashioning your afro into a hawk? It needs to stop. I automatically think you're a poseur. Yes, you're such a poser you deserve the "u" added in. H got his mohawk for symbolic reasons (he had one last year too. If you feel like checking the late may/early June archives there's pics there) and it happens to look great. But you, Mr Ed Hardy shirt? Bah to you. You are lame.

5. Gatorade
I just missed the bus, so I decided to go to the lil cultural market (its really a corner store owned by Africans, but its not on a corner and they sell African, Caribbean and Spanish food there) and get me a bev. You know, cuz its hot. So I open my drink, and it flies out, leaving drops of red ass drink on me and the bag of "going out" clothes I have in my hand. And on me. So now I'm pissed cuz I'm nowhere near a sink or washing machine, and these shorts I plan to wear are white and light blue sailor stripes. WHITE! And LIGHT BLUE! Ugh. So now I have to figure out how to get this stain out and not be late for work. I have 20 minutes to get off the train and to work, change into my uniform and get a stain off my shorts so they can dry while I work. Not happening. I can't leave it because it'll set in and I'll be even more pissed. And did I mention I've never worn these shorts? Argh! I wanna hit somebody. And I lost most of my appetite for the drink, since spilling it on my shirt makes me look like a 5 year old... Hate.
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So I was at the grocery store...

And turning down the card aisle just for the hell of it, we spot this along with a collection of cards featuring celebrities.

*thinks of who's birthday is next....*

Mo's gonna be 23 in a few weeks.....
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I'm still alive

Who knew itd take 2 days to program a phone?! I got a new blackberry, same one as the old one, but... New. I was gonna get the 8130 but all it has is a higher res camera and video capabilities and wifi. I don't need none of that and it aint worth $50 extra. So there. My new phone is red! Its so sexy. Lol. And yep, it took me 2 days to take off all the phone numbers and addresses and personal stuff so I could sell the old one. Now, apparently you can do this via PC, but everything's set up on Kesi's PC and its all the way at his house, where I am not. So I did it joy's way. And I have a hand cramp.

The gas tank had a leak. I mean probably all the gas is drained out. Gas is too expensive to be leaking out on the ground like that. It better act like it got some sense. So the car had to be towed and we're not sure when it'll be fixed. Bah. Meanwhile I'm relying on the bus and kesi's mom (my street is long and dark, so...), and if you've been reading my blog for a while you know she likes to "speech." the other night Kesi was outside having deep convos with his friend/ coworker, and I'm inside his job talking to a few other coworkers (more on that later), and so mom sees him out there when she came to pick us up and when I get out the car she lectures him on fidelity and the like. What? It was a conversation! Luckily we have trust in our relationship. He thinks nothing of the fact that I go to parties and clubs with other dudes and I don't care if he did the same (which he doesn't, which is why I go to the club with other people- he's not really a club dude). Its me telling him not to have female friends and him telling me not to have male friends that would drive one of us to be unfaithful, in my opinion. Anyways....

While he was outside, I was inside finding out that his coworker that is from my hometown went to the church I grew up in! Not only that, but my Godsister is her kids' Godmother! And my godmother, day care extraordinaire, took care of her kids before she moved down here. She knows all my peoples! Small world man. My mom was a minister with her aunt. The list goes on, lol.

*Can you say that gay people should be stoned in this day and age? I mean, can you be a young black woman with biracial kids, and be so bigotted and ignorant as to say that gays should be stoned for the protection of said children? Seriously. And accordingly, can this cordiality I have with you continue, knowing that you're so narrow minded and foolish that you would not only think but say such a thing? To me? A rational and loving human being with some sense? Sigh.*

This girl I work with is such a pain. She leaves messes everywhere and will litterally walk away from making drinks so that she can ring up guests (and possibly make tips). Tonight she banked out first and "left" me, exiting with the words, "wow, you're really behind..." meanwhile I left before her because despite wanting to be a cashier all the time she can't count and her drop is always wrong. I am thinking of calling her "green card,". Not because she's an immigrant, but because she was singing Lil Boosie's "independent" and we swear she was singing "she got a green card, she got a green card..." we were like what? So now that's our new song when she does something dumb, which is often. Today she walked away from a whole row of drinks... To take more orders. I was already taking care of the guests and she could have made those drinks, but she's determined to stand her ass at the register. She's so wack. And lazy. And I'm over it.

On to better things. 7 days til whitewater! This will be infinitely better than last year's attempted trip. You know, the one that was canceled by a death in the family. So let's all cross our fingers that everyone that I, Kesi, Breezy and Walter Lee's lives makes it safely to Saturday and beyond.
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Please read!

No, I'm not asking you to read my blog, cuz um, duh. I'm not even speaking about this particular post. What I'm asking you to do is read in general. At least do so before you comment or email.

What do we owe each other as owners of blogs? Nothing, really. You choose of your own will to read what I write. I do the same for you. Sometimes I feel moved to make a comment. Sometimes you do too. A topic-relevant comment. I do NOT owe you advertisement. I will ignore you. So hard. You will get the internet equivalent of the stone face. I will net-mug the hell out of you. I'm not going to tell my friends about some article you wrote unless I read it and go "hey, yeah!" Your emailing me means nothing if I've never heard of you before. I realize people wouldn't know what annoys you until you tell them. So here I am. Rashan, La and I were talking about this this weekend. And then Adei and I a few days ago. I remember one of my first posts was about how I hate sales people because they manipulate situations so they can make their pitch and try to sell you stuff you don't need. I hate it equally online. And I'm through. On to other things that's on my mind.

Yep, La and I met Rashan. We went to Cafe Intermezzo, and had drinks and a light dinner. Or at least I feel like it was light. The place didn't seem like the type to have big steaks and whatnot. Anywhoo, we laughed and tripped and La's fam just happened to have the same idea of where to go... So they showed up and crashed the table for a minute. We spent a lot of time talking about the people we could see out the window, some of whom were drunk or unfortunately dressed. Rashan was shorter than I thought he'd be for some reason. That's not to say he's short, but I had him at 6 foot. I always think people are gonna be taller than they are. He also had his name tag on from work, lol. I know where he works! Haha. Considering what he does (I'm not saying what) I wouldn't figure he'd need a name tag. I emailed Jameil cuz she said we were lame for meeting him, as if it were so easy to head up to PA and say hi, lol. But she's headed down to Fla, and if she doesn't come up to Atlanta I may cry, lol. And the best, most unexpected thing about the night was that he paid! For the whole bill! Then he was like, "you guys can take care of the tip," at which point Lauren and I just throw down money. "Aren't you gonna look at the bill first?" nope. We both know what its like to work for tips and our waitress was nice, if a lil weird, so we hooked her up. Personally my whole weekend was funded by tips, and I know how good that feels. Let's see what else? I'm not going in any particular order... Oh, we took pictures, and I sent the one of me and Rashan to him, but I can't post it here cuz I'm on my phone. And curiously, the picture of him and la is gone hmmm... The same thing happened in Miami. Interesting, huh? Wonder how that happened.

Watched Michelle O on the view thea morning. She has great legs. She clearly wasn't a tomboy. Cuz my knees are dark. Besides that she's cool and interesting and I love what she said about her oldest daughter's feelings about crowds. "they're not here for me. I just smile and wave and go sit down." ha! What a clever lil chickie. There was nothing of note on the show really, but I'm sure they'll find some controversy and take something out of context. Womp womp.

I'll have new crochet pix soon! Yay! Have a great day!
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