Thursday, September 28, 2006

hungry...

why am i doing this to myself?

let me preface my post by saying i have little to no will power. its the reason i stole as a child and stayed in trouble in high school.

i am on a diet. a small diet. i have, as of thursday, 9 days until my friend's wedding. i bought a new dress and new shoes, which you will hear about in detail when i post on said wedding. but i decided to go light on my snacking until the wedding.

please believe that i have no misconceptions about my weight. i'm healthy looking and curvy. but i havent been sleeping well and i have been eating french fries "like an irish person" says my brother in law. and so i gotta do something.
plus i wanna look and feel extra cute in my dress.

monday was when i got this brilliant idea. that night i had my "last meal." a shrimp quesadilla for lunch and red baron pizza cites for dinner. yum. yesterday i had minestrone for lunch and an apple pie from mcdonalds for dinner. sad! i snuck a rice krispie treat and nibbled on pistacchios before work. today i made a smoothie from a mango i had way too long, oj, a banana, strawberries and pineapples. it was my savior when lunch came and i decided to eat some chicken gumbo that was not hittin. btw i hate soup as a rule. but if its thick i'll eat it. for dinner, leftover quesadilla from monday. still delicious!

will i make it? gee this is hard. i know that snacking is good to keep up your metabolism but i cant find anything to eat that's not starchy or fatty. suggestions?

Monday, September 25, 2006

lalala...i luv you...

i decided that i would write an entry about the 4 people i consider my best friends. then i decided trying to write about all of them in one entry would be really long. so this one's about lauren.

i met lauren the first week of school in 7th grade. she's transfered from a catholic school and i'd been in ga for a year from ct. people who never went to school in ct dont realize how alike those two things are.

our relationship was almost doomed when someone told her i said she was a whore. i didnt. but clearly that's a reason for her not to like me.

we had mutual friends though. she was dating one of the funnest guys ever, name withheld, and there was another lauren who she became attached to. by spring everything was cool and she we were having sleepovers and the usual 13 year old thang.

i liken our relationship to a sisterhood, but its more than that. we can tell each other everything and not get judged. we can hang out and do absolutely nothing and feel completely comfortable. we have similar sense of humor.

she's the only girl who i have been consistently close to. its funny. you hear alot of women say they dont hang out with other females too much but she is literally the only one. kesi says when we're together its like i'm a different person. probably cuz i hang around boys all day.

so after 10 years, (our friendship anniversary is oct 22) our friendship has grown and changed but i dont think i'd be such a sane person if i didnt have her to rely on. i think we were destined to be friends in order to keep the other from going totally nuts. my mom has a friend like that too- 25 years or so. no matter how far they are from each other they know the other is there.

so yes... lauren and i will be, pardon the cliche, friends forever. sans cats, no matter what she says. no cats woman! our kids will grow up together and be like cousins except that two of them will fall in love and have genetically superior children. lol.

Monday, September 18, 2006

part two: lets have babies now!

So when we last left me i was ducking in the back of the F150 so i wouldnt see us inevitably hit the dog, which looked like charlie from "All dogs go to heaven."

my eyes were shut tight, and my mind saw the poor doggie dying under the wheels of this big truck. i hear a bump, and after what seems like forever i get up.

"You hit it! oh my god. we killed it!" i look back but the road swerved and i couldnt see. C and B alternate what sounds like chanting: it got up. it got up.

"Are you sure?"

"I hit the break and the right tire hit it. should i go back?"

"No, i dont wanna see the dead dog!"

"Its not dead! it got up!"

"are you sure?"

it went on like this for a minute. i was hysterical. i know i felt something, but that was a big dog. maybe we didnt hit it. B prayed for it anyway. it was the most endearing prayer. "please let the dog live, but if it dies please know i would never kill any of your creation." i cosigned that the dog have someone who cares about it and will find it and nurse it.

it was quieter in the car until we got to campbellton and the hater called for the first time since we left her. lots of where are you's and what you doin's... booty call. later they went to ihop without me, which i believe was purposeful on her part; she waited til i was gone to ask if he wanted to go. boo. everyone knows i love ihop! but i went home and went to sleep. 5am. i was tired.

the next day i woke at 1, did some laundry, and kesi and i headed to X's 23rd birthday party. he's my oldest friend. oldie. i mock his oldness.

we went to anthony's, which i'd been to before but didnt know it. i call it food amnesia. it was so good i wanted it to be new again. X was an hour late to his own party. no matter how he argues, i know its true because he drunk dialed me the night before and said 630, 7 cp time. we were there by 7 despite getting turned around. i bought him a shirt with riley from the boondocks on it which he loved.

we sat in the italian equivalent of a booth, near pix of james dean and the beatles. i was so hungry. i ordered eggplant parm with spaghetti and challenged X to a game of pool. i lost, but not badly. i only play good when i drink. i kicked ass on my birthday after two midori sours.

the place was packed with people, some whom i've known since high school, people X raps with- he's super talented and so is his crew, and his family. his ex was there; they're still cool even though she was crazy for a minute. i decided to be nice to her and not flat out ignore her after she was a bitch to my friends. he has another friend named joy, and he found pleasure in saying, "hey joy!" and watching us both turn around.

these people are the most made for each other group ever. fun times. most of the night was spent laughing at inside jokes.

after i had eaten half of my delicious dinner and gotten a doggie bag, X's cousin jayla arrived. she's 8 months old. she stole the friggin show. she's adorable! i called her chubby and he goes, "Dont say that! she's smart!" ok... she's also chubby... and cute. when he got up he handed her to me and she immediately started sucking her thumb and put her head on my chest. i looked up at kesi and said, "Lets have babies now!" she stole my heart. he decided to walk away from my delirious ass.

later, she decided it was time to be fed. i had on a pink vickies camisole under a long-sleeved red henley- no bra (In addition to my flare leg jeans and a red scarf. my hair was still a mess from last night). lil jayla pulled down my cami- luckily she doesnt have much of a grip- and almost turned this into a different kind of party. she also passed gas on me. they said, "aw, that means she's comforatable with you!" as a person with at least 20 cousins smaller than me, i handed her off cuz i knew what it really meant. i did not wanna be on diaper duty.

later there was freestyling (funny stuff despite interruptions by parents and phones) and lots of jokes, then the place closed and we headed to the parking lot. kesi pulled out some beats he made. he's very proud of them and i'm proud of him. he makes better music than i do and i'm taking classes for it. and then X pulled out a cd of some of his songs. at this point i started beating on him because despite my asking for at least a year he wouldnt let out anything but what is now on his myspace page. i then hijacked the cd from him. he protested but gave in and i now have 10 songs on my mp3 player. ha! i win.

we talked and kicked it in the lot til 12. it was funny, people i dont know were so familiar. everybody hugs. i might have to steal his friends like i did lauren's dc crew. fun night. i told him to enjoy cuz this'll be the best year of his life.

sigh. that was my weekend.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

all dogs go to heaven.

so my nights were great, barring a few incidents. here we go...

friday i went out to the royal peacock, as per usual. it was just me, B and two of his friends who are fast becoming my friends. funny enough, their names begin with A and C. i think, in my quest to not use people's names, i shall call the trio ABC.

So anyway, somehow people at work found out we were going out. natural progression; we made these plans last week. but one of these people was the hater. another was mr not gay. btw i dont at all call him that because i think being gay is wrong, i call him that cuz he does. they called B and me to find out what was up. Not Gay said he'd go if someone was paying his way and Hater wanted B to run her all over town so she could get ready. he said no and she hung up on him.

so off we go at midnight. i wore low rise jeans and a peach colored tank with a flower on it. also my white and peach pumas and glow perfume. hair half braids half fro. B's car alarm system was bootleg so as i open the door it goes off. when you turn on a light it goes off. it was janky. Hater calls on the way to ask if he'd come get her from home. he says no and they argue. lol he called her snaggle tooth. i told him to thank god he wasnt with her anymore.

fast forward. we're in the club and i look mad important cuz i have three boys with me. lol or like a ho. the important thing is if i dont want to dance with kingston's exile, i can give them a look and they come save me. A asked if he was my bodyguard. i said yes. i'm not drinking tonight cuz i cant afford it. thanks comcast.

so at about 230, in the depths of a soca mix, who shows up? Hater! and mr Not Gay and Hater's best friend. we'll call her Doll. so they jump in and start dancing and drinking immediately. i'm the only one sober, lol, but no biggie. i usually only get one drink anyway... these girls cannot dance to soca. or any caribbean music. it was all southern booty shaking from them. dont get me wrong i love my down dirty, but you gotta know how to at least wind it up people. you gotta know how to react to a man doing more than a two step.

every time i tried to dance with B, here she was trying to cut in. see why i call her hater? she was definitely choosin. but he was not trying to get chose. C on the other hand... he and Doll were trying to expand their family on the dancefloor. lots of head rubbing and major groping and grinding. they danced for an hour. haaaay...

one of the guys i danced with bought me a bottled water- closed ladies! no date rape drug! how nice. i mean, no questions asked. just as a thanks. i found $10 on the floor. LUCKY! Not Gay got drunk/high and started doing interpretive dance or something. then they played "chichi mon." dont know if youve heard it but its about how the jamaicans dont tolerate the chichi men. you know what a chichi man is. blatant intolerance, and possibly a hint?

the lights come on. we look a mess. the back of my fro is a different texture than the rest. sweat, foundation stains, soreness. i took off my bra in the car. i brought a sweatshirt so i could cover up.

driving home we roasted Hater and them and joked about the fun we had. somewhere on the West End, we're the only ones on the road, looking for the house where the man sells rims, when i look ahead...

"OH MY GOD YOURE GONNA HIT THE DOG!" I scream and duck into the back seat.

wow, havent even gotten to X's party. guess this is as good a time for a cliffhanger. part two soon.

Friday, September 15, 2006

QUICK HITTERS

GENERAL:

*Who is that kid dancing in the monica video and counting money in the young dro video? i'm sorry but that is a funny looking lil boy.

*despite all his protests, doesnt it sound like big boi is saying he and andre are breaking up in the 3rd verse of "The train"? cant really quote it but when you listen he's talking about touring alone, which has happened. but he says something like, "but now i call upon my crew." hmm... still love 'Kast and the album though, so...

*"i hope that youre ready, cuz i'm about to bring you." why change the lyric from "show" to "bring," danity kane? imagine my annoyance when singing the version i know, in which dawn (i think) belts it out, only to be left in the wrong key. oops.

SPECIFIC:
*we got our second ticket yesterday for our malfunctioning seatbelt. crap! college park is running game. *bleep*

*yay lauren! i hope you and your comfy shoes had a great first day.

*i'm going out clubbing (sp) tonight and tommorow is X's birthday. yay! partay!

*comcast wont gimme my money back. i accidentally paid them twice (their fault) and now i gotta wait to get my money back. i'm feelin so broke right now.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

obsessions

madam's inspiration:

MUSIC
i've always loved music. and i've loved all kinds, except most jazz. i play the violin and have a guitar that i can only toy with. i'm really into foreigners right now: MIA and lady sov are high on my list. and of course i love to dance. dancehall is my groove of choice.

LOST AND BONES
my absolute favorite shows on tv right now. they competed with times last year but now one's at 8 and the other is at 9. both are brilliantly written and make me feel smarter for watching.

UNDIES
i have about 70ish pairs. why? in high school, i got it in my head that no matter what i was wearing/doing, having a cute pair of drawers would make me feel confident. it was my lil secret. they are mostly from vickies (pink line) but occasionally i'll find nice ones from target or marshalls. i'm a fan of innuendo, so i own a few with felix the cat and cookie monster.

WRITING AND BLOGGING
i've been writing since i can remember. the first i can recall was a story about my imaginary pet fish. i was 5. i'm always thinking of new things to blog about, and occasionally stealing ideas...

MY PHONE
its a tmobile SDA. i use it to type most of my entries. also to read all you guys' and listen to music. and text and take pix and play games and im... i always have it on me just in case things get boring. strangely i dont talk on it much...

THE WORK COOKIES
no, that's not a euphemism. my job has the best cookies. i have to put myself on restriction when i feel my addiction is getting out of hand. these things are so good they were part of lauren's birthday present this year.

WRITERS
especially roald dahl, anne rice and chuck palahniuk. they are the best in their respective genres. i would rather read MATILDA, QUEEN OF THE DAMNED or FIGHT CLUB than watch them any day.

BOONDOCKS
i have uncle ruckus singing 'new niggas' as a ring tone. i been reading the strip since high school and have all the books. aaron mcgruder is a genius and inspiration for the comic i have yet to write.

there ya have it. my obsessions.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

i dont even like jelly.

so... i purchased dane cook's RETALIATION on tuesday. funny shit. we've been listening to it in the car since then and cracking up to the point of almost tears.

my favorite is his jokes on "nothing fights," in which a couple pretty much hates each other and picks fights about the dumbest stuff. kesi and i do it for fun, just to get a reaction from people, then we start laughing.

just my luck mr cook's VICIOUS CIRCLE was on hbo friday morning at about 3am and we stayed up and watched it. around the part where he's talking about wanting to have 19 kids, i realize i have a funny-guy crush on him. he's adorable. and i'm so going to see EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH when it comes out.

so anyway you should too. i just want everyone to know he's funny and i think he's cute. the end.

ps: suri cruise is the cutest baby ever. still convinced she will help her dad with that whole antichrist thing... but she's a lil muffin!

Friday, September 08, 2006

labor day weekend

did you know that if you jump out a hotel window and dont die, you could be charged with destruction of property? yep. but that's monday. lets go back to friday.

if you didnt know, i work in one of the biggest hotels in atlanta. and every labor day we and two other hotels host the biggest sci-fi convention in america. as a people-watcher, this is my favorite weekend to work. here are some pix from this year and last year, of some people dressed in the most elaborate costumes you will ever see.

on friday, the day started off pretty slow. i saw one of my old high school friends, jvoc as i called him, in a yellow ranger costume. his friend was trying to hit on my "not gay" coworker which was funny. he got all stuttery and protested way too much...

we stayed open late and around midnight we started getting the giggles. then a man in a horrible jesus type costume that was too short, he decided to grace us with his presence. and so came a coworker's comment that he could have tried harder. if you looked at my pics you can see that a man in two sheets wasnt winning any costume contests. then his friend walked up. his friend was wearing what could be described as a jiggly puff halter dress. he kept pulling it up as if he had the proper- ahem- accessories to hold up his outfit. then, THEN, he starts singing the jiggly puff song! at which point i am in the back coffee station literally screaming in laughter! i mean i was on the floor. and it was only friday.

saturday was shopping day. i went to work an hour early on a search for a shirt inspired by aqua teen hunger force. for the boy. couldnt find it in his size, so i bought it for myself. before you start calling me selfish, i got him an awesome thundercats shirt which he loves and has worn 22 times since last saturday night. yes that's him modeling it in the photos.

while taking pictures a little later i witnessed an obvious cry for help. a black woman began talking to me. despite the words she said her subtext cried, "hello fellow black person. i was so uncomfortable until you came along. stay with me?" but i rarely feel the discomfort of being the only anything anywhere. and plus it was time to go to work and she smelled a little, as people who wear the same thing three days in a row often do...

a woman came up in an awesome rainbow bright costume. i really wish i'd had a picture of it. she had to have made it. one of my coworkers decided it'd be the perfect outfit for her to wear while giving him a lapdance. i immediately got images of the doll dancing for him. childhood memories tainted. to add to the horror of rainbow bright on a pole, two men came up in their superman costumes and ordered sandwiches. the one in the silver costume had the misfortune of not having that funky red undie thing the classic supe has, and alas, i could see his- ahem- beans and franks. barf. i mean, this is an adult man who might usually have the luxury, during more intimate moments, of more fabric. it was like a car wreck. i could only imagine how classic superman felt about his bud's... attire.

sunday was a great day. i saw lauren, whom i havent seen since april. we did what we usually do, pretty much nothing, but it was nice. we watched wrestling in spanish because kesi hadnt seen it when it aired in english. she made fun of my having cassie as kesi's ringtone. also she laughed at me when the boy didnt catch me and i fell in the laundry basket. i was so happy to see her. probably wont again for 20 years...

sunday was also the last day before my day off. at this point we were out of potato chips and just about anything caffeinated. also all the atms within a three block radius were out of money. fun day. i did see people dressed as the burger king, wendy and the colonel. i was gonna leave early but the hater said her daughter was sick and she left. i dont think the child was sick and but who am i to get in her business, haha? and so i stayed and made my money. and i had the next day off.

when i got back to work on wednesday, there was a nice story there about a man who drove in from ackworth with $8000 and some drugs, got a room got high, and here's where it gets funky: he sliced off part of his calf, threw a table out of his second story window, and jumped. he landed on the tunnel to one of our restaurants and broke the glass on that window. oh yeah, and his back. and clearly didnt succeed in killing himself... and just when life cant suck any more, it does. he's going to jail.

and that was my weekend. and it only took a week to write.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

no ashanti on this list.

its no secret that i'm scared of lightning. i almost got struck when i was a teen and since then i pretty much need to be under the covers to feel safe. last wednesday i was stuck outside during ernesto's torrent, waiting for kesi to get off work and pick me up. the only thing keeping me from a panicked rage was my music.

*outkast, "Vibrate" "prototype" and "da art of storytellin pt2"
"that's just god doin his work."

*dixie chicks, "changes"
dont judge me! really great remake...

*bjork, homogenic. especially "hunter" and
"all neon like." heavy drums... also, "possibly maybe" from post: "but afterwards i wonder, where's the love you promised me?" deep.

*Erykah badu, "certainly" and "next lifetime"

*busta rhymes, "gimme some more"
the PSYCHO sample goes great with rain.

*deftones, "Lucky you"
this song is just sexy.

*rahiem devaughn, "you"
yes...

*Fiona apple, "Tymps" "oh well" and "pale september"
her voice floats over bad weather.

*incubus, "aqueous transmission"
nice cricket sounds at the end...

*ludacris, "war with god"
unreleased dis track to an unknown rapper. the lady singing does her thing.

*MIA, "amazon"
another song with nature sounds. you could fall asleep if she wasnt talking about being kidnapped...

*maroon 5, "sweetest goodbye"
"how does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone..." pretty good, thanks.

*MCR, "the ghost of you"
*NERD, "provider"
songs about losing love...

*nelly furtado, "Showtime"
"Not fair to love you in chains"

*danity kane "right now"

last but certainly not least...

*TI, "get it"
"cuz i got it bitch."

i was remarkably calm when he finally arrived. the power of music. :)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

look ah that!

i'm back after a long weekend...

if there's one thing i am, its an animal lover. and a lover of fellow animal lovers. so last night at about 3am i was riding home and i read that steve irwin died. the croc hunter. just about the most famous animal guy in the world. the car went sad and quiet while i read aloud what little information was given at the time. he was stabbed by a stingray. died trying to teach us about the animals he loved. you could see it in his eyes, he was passionate about what he did.

the boyfriend and i would watch his show and get all giggly every time he'd say, 'look ah that! what a beaut!' it got to be one of our sayings.

he was 44! my mom is that age. and he's got kids. at least they're old enough to remember him and that he was a good man.


more on my weekend and the biggest sci-fi convention in the US coming soon.